Author Archives: paul

Brains, Books and Bananas

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Once again its been ages since I’ve done an update on my blog. I apologise, I often forget that the entire internet hangs on my every word. Anyway, here is some stuff about this and that. (You know, the usual guff I normally spout.)

Pablo Cheesecake versus Subconscious Sabotage

My brain and I are currently at loggerheads, at least it seems that way to me.  On 15th December I found myself in Accident and Emergency at around 12.30am. I had experienced what the paramedics called ‘some sort of seizure’.

brain

….Fortunately things weren’t quite this bad.

The worst/scariest part of the whole thing was that, from my perspective at least, I was utterly absent when this happened. I have no memory about any of this at all.  Apparently I rolled out of bed, landing on my shoulder, I bit my lip and was doing the whole frothing at the mouth.  I’m just incredibly lucky that Mrs C managed to keep calm (I don’t know if I could have) and got an ambulance to whisk me to hospital.

A couple of weeks have passed now and I’m glad to say report that there has been no further recurrence.  I feel 100% ok. I’ve visited the local hospital and the likely prognosis is some sort of epileptic fit. There are going to be more tests but I suspect I will probably end up on meds to manage this.

Oh yes, there will be tests.

Oh yes, there will be tests.

If anything, this whole incident has made me re-evaluate a lot of things. Which brings me nicely onto my next topic of wittering.

The Eloquent Page

Last year was a pretty damn successful year for the old book blog. Over one hundred reviews, three conventions, and I got the chance to read some of the best fiction around. That can’t ever be a bad thing can it? Well, what I did come to realise is that it was taking up just a bit too much of my time. Don’t get me wrong, I love to read (I frickin adore it), but I just couldn’t keep up that pace.  Two books a week was cutting into the rest of my life way too much. I could have asked MadNad for more assistance but she already helps out whenever she can and she currently runs a couple of her own websites so. I couldn’t really expect her to give up her own projects.

The delicate balancing act continues

The delicate balancing act continues

So since January 1st I’ve cut down to just one review a week and I think this is working out much better. I can take more time over each book but still get to spend time doing something that I love. Perhaps I’ve finally figured out a balance that works for me? Time will tell.

It’s Not All Doom and Gloom

Oh dear, this post seems to have taken a slightly downbeat turn doesn’t it? Can’t be having that. I’m all about the upbeat and spangly after all. In an effort to combat this existential funk lets finish on a high shall we. Look here’s a picture of a nude banana.

Gratuitous Nudity!

Gratuitous Fruit Nudity!

Till next time. (No, I don’t know when that will be either).

Be good

 

Put A Fork In Me I’m Done!

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I’m quietly proud of myself. It’s an odd sensation. Certainly not the sort of thing that happens very often, not to me at least. Why am I feeling this way? Well, remember I decided to do that whole running 500 kilometres in twelve months thing? Guess what? I’ve only gone and done it with a month to spare. Yup, as of 5pm this evening I completed the last five kilometres. None to shabby considering that prior to last January I had never done any running ever (and when I say ever I mean EVAH!).

What prompted this lunacy?

I give you exhibit A

The Horror. Run away, flee!!!

I detest myself in this photo. I look like a gurning, chubby King Edward potato. I just loath how I look. On a more positive note it was one of the things that finally forced me to get off my arse and start this whole healthy lifestyle malarkey in the first place.

Random facts about my run

  • 500 kilometres is just over 310 miles. Lets put that in perspective – distance between Nottingham and London is 128 miles. Nottingham to Greenock, where I was born, is 303 miles. (You get the idea. It’s quite far).
  • This mighty endeavor was all achieved indoors. Mostly because I would be a danger to other road users if had attempted it outside. I do have a tendency to be quite clumsy.
  • First time I attempted 5k it took me 44 minutes (in my defence remember I did say there had been no running prior to this point). I did manage to improve a bit as well. Fastest time was just over 28 minutes.

What does the completion of this challenge mean to me then?

  • I’ve lost four inches off my waist. I’ve gone from 38inch to 34 inch waist. From XXL to L if you prefer 🙂
  • I’ve dropped 4 and ½ stone in weight. Or 28 kilograms. Fucking Hell that’s SIXTY THREE pounds people!
  • I feel a bit more confident in myself. I suppose if I can do this then I can probably do anything. Scary but true! (I should stress I am going to be sensible about this new found confidence. Not going to leap off a bridge and try to fly. Contrary to popular belief I’m not that fucking daft).
  • I kinda like going to the gym now. I guess it has become a bit of a habit.

What next?

I plan on shifting the final ½ stone and then the real test begins. Maintaining my new ‘healthier’ lifestyle. I can’t let things slip. I’m going to take a short break to enjoy Xmas but in the New Year I’ll be back at the gym burning the calories again. See, I’ve been thinking and I have this grand plan,  something about cycling 1000 kilometers in 2013 🙂

Well at least there is less of me now. Sorry can’t do anything about the face.

till next time my internet brothers and sisters

be excellent to each other…..and party on!

Pablo ‘The Running Man’ Cheesecake

The Nature of an Obsessive Cheesecake

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One Man and a List

I can get a little obsessive about stuff at times. During the week Mrs C pointed out a particularly good one. An obsession that I’ve never noticed before. (Turns out she spotted it years ago but never felt the urge to mention it before as she found it funny). It appears I have a habit of making verbal lists. Just can’t help myself. Most notably this happens when we first wake up or are on our way home from work. I feel compelled to tell MadNad exactly what I am going to do. Think a slightly more domestic version of this (with marginally less zombie killing and you’re thinking along the right lines).

Of course now that I am aware of this habit of mine it is driving me a little insane. The lists still kept forming in my head and I keep trying to stop it escaping out my mouth. Sad I know, but true. You know thinking about it I’m pretty sure that if I didn’t have something to obsess about I’d more likely than not obsess about that.

A Number of Cool Things

Some cool occurrences this week

  • My collection of Lego minifigs has a new addition, The Daredevil. The comment was made that there is a passing resemblance between him and I. You know what? I’m totally ok with that.

He has his own mutherjeffing cape!

So Much TV, So Little Time

Currently Mrs C and I are watching/attempting to watch the following programmes regularly – Face Off, Continuum, Fringe, Merlin, Arrow, Last Resort, Warehouse 13, Haven, The Wire, Mad Men, Hunted, Grimm, The Almighty Johnsons, White Collar, True Blood and The Walking Dead. Next week Big Bang Theory returns as well.  All of it is pretty great tv but it is definitely getting trickier to keep on top of all this. I’m concerned that my brain is going to start bleeding out my ears.

Anyway enough of this meaningless frivolity. Tomorrow should hopefully bring Windows 8, Blood Fudge, Richard Burton and naked space vampires. I can’t really imagine that life can get much better than that can it?

Later my denizens of the Interweb

Mr Obsessive Compulsive Cheesecake

The Name’s Cheesecake, Double O Cheesecake

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Saw the latest Bond film yesterday afternoon (The Man With the Golden Thunderballs Never Dies Tomorrow Enough?) . Have to admit I was suitably impressed with it all. Craig’s Bond really wears his flaws on his sleeve. Dame Judy Dench squaring off against the demented and slightly camp Javier Bardem was very well handled. Even hipster Q (Yes, I know he’s called Ben Whishaw but I prefer Hipster Q), Albert Finney and Moneypenny worked.

I’ve read elsewhere that this Bond feels to many like a reboot of the franchise and I have to say that I tend to agree. It was Bond in its rawest form. There was a distinct lack of gadgets and the seemingly obligatory Bond girls were also kept to a minimum. There was also some insight into Bond’s history which has always been sadly lacking in previous films. Felt like we actually got under his skin a bit for once.

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that Istanbul appeared to be the ‘go to’ location for rooftop chases. The Bond producers appear to agree. That’s nice.

One thing that irked me a little was all the damn product placement. Cars, booze, computers and countless others that I probably didn’t spot but have no doubt already worked their way into my already ravaged psyche. Too much. I can appreciate that Bond is a brand in itself but it all felt a bit in your face.

I also wasn’t so hot on the title song. Don’t get me wrong. Adele has a cracking voice but I’m just not sure the tune was Bond enough? Time will tell I suppose. In fairness I loathed the theme to The Man With The Golden Gun first time a heard it but I rather like that now. I’m nothing if not fickle.

Overall Sam Mendes has brought Bond slap bang up to date and it works bloody well. Like the end credits said BOND WILL RETURN.

I look like this in my pants as well you know #fact

Saw the trailer for Django Unchained and The Hobbit part 1. Both look very interesting. Django has got a kinda 70’s gangster vibe going on (I suppose you wouldn’t necessarily expect that from a western. Tarantino mashing it up as ever). The Hobbit looks lovely on the big screen. I’ve heard people muttering about it but I seem to recall they all did exactly the same prior to LOTR. I, if I’m being brutally honest, can’t fucking wait

 

Pirates, Books, Running and Rocky IV

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TA-DA! Behold my Internet Catharsis*

Ok, so its possible that you are familiar with the book reviews that I post, or you’ve followed me on some sort of social media or another but perhaps you’ve never found yourself here before? This is where I come to shake what is in my head out to see what happens. This is the land of do as you please. I don’t follow any rules here, including the laws of grammar (as I’m sure some of you have already spotted). This is just a big o’ heap of stuff. If you like, well thats just luvverly. If you don’t then please ensure the door don’t hit you on the ass on the way out.

Any-who , on with this evenings show…

The Crimson Cheesecake and other Golden Oldies

Recently, in life, things have taken a distinctly piratical direction (no, I’m not going to tell you why). This culminated at the weekend with a viewing of The Crimson Pirate. I love that film. It harks back to the days when colour was GLORIOUS TECHNICOLOUR. Burt Lancaster wears stripey tights and manages to make them look manly. His acrobatic skills (from his days in the circus?) get to shine. Hell, at one point even a young Christopher Lee pops up being all evil and sinister.

The whole experience got me thinking about old films I really enjoy. I immediately bought The Medusa Touch. I think I’ll have to see if I can also source The Cassandra Crossing and Holocaust 2000.  All these films left a very distinct impression on an entirely suggestible young boy many years ago. I think it is high time I revisit them all.

That Whole Reading Thing

This year I am on course to read around one hundred books. I’ve been thinking about this and I reckon it may have been the silliest fucking thing I have ever done. I’ve always been able to read quite quickly but I feel like I’m really pushing my limits a bit. I can tell you one thing, I wont be doing it again. When reading begins to feel like a chore rather than a joy I think thats the time to stop, take stock and re-evaluate. I think 2013 will have to have a far more sedate pace. I spectacularly lucky that from time to time I get sent copies of books to review and it is always a pleasure to receive them but I have to be realistic and accept the fact that there is no way I can keep up the frantic pace. My brain is starting to bleed out my ears. The book I finished tonight had nine hundred and sixty eight pages for fucks sake.

2012 Challenge Update

420km run, 80km to go. Its all feel rather academic now. With the exception of getting hit by a bus, or stray meteorite, there is every chance that I will complete this. With that in mind my gaze turns towards 2013. What feat of lunacy will take up the next twelve months? I reckon the cycling is next on my agenda. So without any further flim-flam or shilly-shally I am glad to confirm that next year I will cycle 1000k in 12 months (What made me think this was a good idea again? I must be mental).

In a gym related aside. I had a rather wonderful moment in the gym on Monday. I was on the treadmill doing the running thing, no-one else was in the room, and this came on my iPod.


I found myself running much faster than normal with a big, dopey grin on my face. I must have looked like a prize tool but I was ridiculously happy. I think I might of been having what the young kids call ‘fun’? (Yes, it was a surprise to me as well).

Tonights blog was brought to you by the letter R and the number 3.

Adios muchachos, till next time

And remember if you can’t say anything nice…dont say anything at all shut the fuck up.

Cheesecake Out

* It’s either this or unleashing me back into the wild. You decide. I don’t care I’ll do either. 

Cinema, Sounds and Soup

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To The Cinema..

Yesterday was a nice random collection of splendid moments. I woke early after a strange dream where I owned a notebook who insisted he be referred to as Arthur. That was the entirety  dream. Very odd indeed (and for me that’s saying something). Mrs Cheesecake and I went into town and I got my first taste of Starbucks new Salted Caramel Mocha. My goodness it was mighty fine. After a quick side trip to Forbidden Planet to pick up a plush Dalek as a late birthday gift we headed off for a double and the cinema. What did we learn?

  • Liam Neeson may have a special set of skills. Picking a holiday destination is not one of them. Do not trust his tourist advice. It’ll end badly.
  • The Bourne Ultimatum suggested it and Taken 2 confirms it. Istanbul is the go to locale for rooftop chases.
  • The Brotherhood of the Cruciform Sword from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade really have hit rock bottom of late.
  • Liam Neeson’s driving lesson technique involves a metric fuck ton of shouting. It’ll work though, you’ll pass
  • Joseph Gordon Levitt’s nasal prosthetic in Looper is first class.
  • Re: Looper – I speculate there will be a lot of picking apart of the plot. Personally I just enjoyed the ride.
  • Star Trek and now Looper have both featured flying motorbikes. I expect an imminent announcement confirming their actual existence.
  • Bruce Willis looks like a bit of a twat with long hair.
  • Good, bad or indifferent you could have heard a penny drop after the end of the showing of Looper we saw yesterday.
  • This last one though not entirely related to cinema happened at lunch so I’ll add it in – I’ve discovered my favourite of the seven dwarves in Ennui. (He so is a dwarf, he just gets very little screen time)

A Magical Musical Mystery Tour

My Spotify membership is starting to pay dividends. Over the last couple of weeks, via various splendid folks, I have discovered and really enjoyed  – Infected Mushroom, Red Fang and Mustach. Plan B’s soundtrack album for Ill Manors is also exceptional. I’m always pleased when I find new musical favourites. I even got the chance to pass some of these finds on to others.

Souper Trooper…

Mrs Cheesecake has spent most of today making soup. Four different kinds. Yesterday  she made four loaves of bread and a pot of goulash. She is like a frickin machine. The best thing I get to test/eat the outcome. Its great having a spouse who rocks in the kitchen.

So there you have it. A weekend of visual, musical and gastronomic delights. I have to say I enjoyed it all thoroughly like the pop culture sponge that I am.

till next time

Adios

The Week I Nearly Lost My Trousers

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Yet again time has flitted by and I haven’t written a personal blog post for ages. I must try harder to jot things down. I promise I’ll do better.

Movie Music Magnum Opus

After much indecision and pfaffing on my part I have finally completed my very own ultimate Spotify playlist. Essentially it contains every single one of my favorite movie tunes. (Ok, ok perhaps not every one. But at least the ones I remember).  Over one hundred tracks which equates to about six hours of top tunes. (You get a prize if you can name all the films that they come from*). Some are blindingly obvious while some are far more obscure. Just to make things are little bit more complicated some are original tracks from the movie soundtrack while others are just featured in key scenes. I can guarantee you this though – every single one is a musical marvel or your money back. Please enjoy!

*there isn’t actually a prize I was lying about that….sorry if I got your hopes up there….I apologise.

Exercise Update

Well it wouldn’t be blog post if I didn’t talk a bit about the 2012 challenge now would it? So I’m now 72% of the way there. I said I was going to run 500km in 2012 and so I’ve run 360km. Not bad considering last year I ran fucking nothing 🙂 What is the overall effect on my health? Lets see, well when I started this thing I was 259lbs, as of this morning I am 197lbs.

The only drawback to this new lifestyle is that the vast majority of my clothes no longer fit. They are all far to baggy. The best example of this occurred last Monday when I was at the gym. I nearly lost my jogging trousers when I was on my treadmill. It turns out trying to resolve this situation while still continuing to run not the best of ideas. This guy knows what I’m talking about.

That is a reasonably accurate representation of what nearly happened.

Down Time

We have a holiday come up. I whole week out of the office, I can’t hardly wait. You know what? I fucking need it. My brain feels all fuzzy at the moment. I think I just need some time to clear out the cobwebs.

The Con is On

Not long to this years FantasyCon. I have to admit a certain amount of excitement. Brighton was great fun last year and I enjoyed my visit immensely. Looking at the attendee list there will be plenty of folks there that we know. I think the key to a good Con is without a doubt the people. FantasyCon attendees are a top bunch of folks. This is good news as my natural shyness is always less pronounced when I’ve meet people before.

There are a good number of books I fancy trying to gets copies of as well. Myself and Mrs Cheesecake will be around for the entire weekend and though I’ll be the first to admit that I look a bit like the bastard son of an escaped gorilla and a Crimewatch photo-fit I promise I’m harmless really. I will happily engage anyone in conversation. Don’t be shy, do say hello!

Judge Cheesecake

Last night Mrs C and I finally managed to catch a showing a Dredd. I was over the moon to discover that  more than lived up to my expectations. Mega-city One was grungy and grim, Karl Urban’s chin was doing some superb work and having a plot that was simple and straightforward  was entirely the right way to go. It was just great to see Old Stony Face come to life in such a vivid fashion. HE IS THE LAW! *

*Let us never speak of Stallone – He Was NOT The Law

Till next time

Please be excellent to one another

Chief Judge Cheesecake

Pablo Cheesecake vs That, There London (2012 Edition)

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Yesterday Mrs Cheesecake and I had a cheeky little day trip to that there London. Considering we were only there for a few hours I think we managed to fit in quite a lot of stuff.

Borough Market

One of our main reasons for visiting London was to do some shopping at this market. We’ve been there before and I love the fact that there are just so many great things to try and buy. The list of foods we got to try was as follows (those of a sensitive disposition may wish to look away now)

  • A spicy chorizo sausage (on a stick no less, disappointingly it was not sold to me by Cut Me Own Throat Dibbler but we can’t have everything can we?)
  • A duck confit sandwich
  • some artisan black pudding
  • a giant pretzel
  • a giant raspberry meringue
  • wild boar salami
  • garlic salami
  • almond croissant
  • English muffins
  • Wild boar pie

Old Thameside Inn

As chance would have it our internet chum Erik happens to live quite close to Borough Market so we gave him a call and he promptly appeared and took us to a local pub. Sat right next to the Golden Hinde swigging chilled lager is a pretty good way to spend a lunchtime.

Blackwell’s Young Adult Fiction Day

Back onto the tube again and off to our final stop of the day –  the young adult event at Blackwell’s Charing Cross. Arrived slightly late due to my spectacular map reading skills. Also had to leave early in order to catch our train home. That said still did manage to hear readings from Will Hill, Tom Pollock, Tanya Byrne and James Dawson. Shame we didnt manage to catch Kim Curran and Laure Eve but, as I said, this was entirely my fault.

I did spot this when I was in the shop. It will be mine!

Just think of all the unnecessary crap I could carry

Home again, Home again Jiggidy Jig

And then like the ninjas that we are we were off home again.

Till next time

Cheerio

Toodle-oo Ya Tubby Fucker!

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This latest post, for a change of pace, is about a single subject that has been close to my heart (and various other organs) for the last year or so.

Today I purchased two new items of clothing. I decided to go out on a limb, take a chance and go with a size large rather than a size extra large.

I’ll have to be honest here and admit that I was more than a little concerned as I have been actively avoiding this exact scenario, and its potential for failure, for a couple of months now.

What made me feel this way?

Well, the thought process goes something like this –  I know that I’ve lost weight, people have been kind enough to mention it and I can even set it myself when I look in the mirror now. The problem though is that the old ‘flabby mindset’ is still there. I’m 6ft 2 and have always been what is politely described as ‘a husky gentleman’ (less polite alternatives used in the past include the charming turn of phrase ‘you fat fuck’, but I digress). Trying to make that mental leap to whatever I am now (normal? standard? less fat? moderately husky?) has actually been one of the hardest things about this whole process. The exercise and dieting are just a habit that I’ve had to learn. Understanding my own body image and how I feel about it strikes me as being an infinitely trickier thing to master.

I suppose that, much like the weight loss itself, I will most likely have to battle those inner voices who constantly demand cake and chocolate for the rest of my life. I’m hoping it continues to go well. (I should also note that writing cathartic, waffly blog posts also seems to help. I apologise in advance).

Please don’t feel badly for me and don’t worry I’m not whinging for no reason either. I am actually really pleased with where I am now its just taken me a bit to realise that I’m going to have to remain constantly vigilant. (In fairness this is probably a good thing as I really should pay more attention to stuff anyway. To say I have the attention span of a goldfish sometimes is not entirely inaccurate).

Its all good peoples of the Web. If things do get bad again I know I can really on my other half to give me a swift kick up the ass for motivational purposes.

On a side note I’m glad to report that in this case the risk appears to have paid off as both t-shirts fit just fine.

Till next time

Be nice to everyone, I’ll be watching.

A Cheesecake Ponders…

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One Man and His Tech

I’ve realised that I am slightly obsessive when it comes to tech. I like to embrace new technology whenever I can but it appears that I’m also all about geeking it up as well. I present to the court exhibits A – C as evidence of said 1st degree geekery.

First up my MacBook

Welcome to the Madhouse!

then my Kindle

A wholly remarkable eReader

and finally my phone

 

Bigger on the inside

I think the evidence speaks for itself. The defendant pleads guilty.

The Great Cheese Hunt of 2012

Yesterday Mrs Cheesecake and I hit the city streets of Nottingham on a quest. Our mystical journey was to locate some provolone cheese. Why? (I hear none of you cry) So Mrs C could make a Stromboli and I could eat it. We hunted high and low (ok, so we went to two shops) and eventually managed to source some of this legendary dairy produce. We returned home and the Stromboli was constructed post haste. I’m not going to give a full review, two words should some things up nicely – Fucking smashing.

FantasyCon 2012

Not long till the next Con of 2012 that I’ll be attending. Brighton was a lot of fun last year and I’m hoping for more of the same. I shall endeavour, once again, to reign in my near crippling shyness (always a tough job) and meet many new peoples. Its funny but I genuinely do have trouble meeting/speaking to new people.

Authors are particularly nerve wracking. Don’t get me wrong I’m fine once I relax a bit but initially I have a tendency to be over awed and tongue tied. I suppose its just always a bit of a shock when people ask my opinion about anything. (Wow, what does that say about my self esteem?). The good news is that Mrs C will be with me and this year I know there will be people there who I have met before. This should keep the panics under control*

*You wouldn’t know that I am panicking to look at me. I’m like a fucking iceberg. 90% of me is underwater?…Hmm that analogy made a lot more sense in my head. Oh, wait. I’ve got it. I have hidden depths. Underwater!….what a twat.

Any-who, enough of this folderol, I’m off

Later Programs

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