The Week I Nearly Lost My Trousers

Yet again time has flitted by and I haven’t written a personal blog post for ages. I must try harder to jot things down. I promise I’ll do better.

Movie Music Magnum Opus

After much indecision and pfaffing on my part I have finally completed my very own ultimate Spotify playlist. Essentially it contains every single one of my favorite movie tunes. (Ok, ok perhaps not every one. But at least the ones I remember).  Over one hundred tracks which equates to about six hours of top tunes. (You get a prize if you can name all the films that they come from*). Some are blindingly obvious while some are far more obscure. Just to make things are little bit more complicated some are original tracks from the movie soundtrack while others are just featured in key scenes. I can guarantee you this though – every single one is a musical marvel or your money back. Please enjoy!

*there isn’t actually a prize I was lying about that….sorry if I got your hopes up there….I apologise.

Exercise Update

Well it wouldn’t be blog post if I didn’t talk a bit about the 2012 challenge now would it? So I’m now 72% of the way there. I said I was going to run 500km in 2012 and so I’ve run 360km. Not bad considering last year I ran fucking nothing 🙂 What is the overall effect on my health? Lets see, well when I started this thing I was 259lbs, as of this morning I am 197lbs.

The only drawback to this new lifestyle is that the vast majority of my clothes no longer fit. They are all far to baggy. The best example of this occurred last Monday when I was at the gym. I nearly lost my jogging trousers when I was on my treadmill. It turns out trying to resolve this situation while still continuing to run not the best of ideas. This guy knows what I’m talking about.

That is a reasonably accurate representation of what nearly happened.

Down Time

We have a holiday come up. I whole week out of the office, I can’t hardly wait. You know what? I fucking need it. My brain feels all fuzzy at the moment. I think I just need some time to clear out the cobwebs.

The Con is On

Not long to this years FantasyCon. I have to admit a certain amount of excitement. Brighton was great fun last year and I enjoyed my visit immensely. Looking at the attendee list there will be plenty of folks there that we know. I think the key to a good Con is without a doubt the people. FantasyCon attendees are a top bunch of folks. This is good news as my natural shyness is always less pronounced when I’ve meet people before.

There are a good number of books I fancy trying to gets copies of as well. Myself and Mrs Cheesecake will be around for the entire weekend and though I’ll be the first to admit that I look a bit like the bastard son of an escaped gorilla and a Crimewatch photo-fit I promise I’m harmless really. I will happily engage anyone in conversation. Don’t be shy, do say hello!

Judge Cheesecake

Last night Mrs C and I finally managed to catch a showing a Dredd. I was over the moon to discover that  more than lived up to my expectations. Mega-city One was grungy and grim, Karl Urban’s chin was doing some superb work and having a plot that was simple and straightforward  was entirely the right way to go. It was just great to see Old Stony Face come to life in such a vivid fashion. HE IS THE LAW! *

*Let us never speak of Stallone – He Was NOT The Law

Till next time

Please be excellent to one another

Chief Judge Cheesecake

Pablo Cheesecake vs That, There London (2012 Edition)

Yesterday Mrs Cheesecake and I had a cheeky little day trip to that there London. Considering we were only there for a few hours I think we managed to fit in quite a lot of stuff.

Borough Market

One of our main reasons for visiting London was to do some shopping at this market. We’ve been there before and I love the fact that there are just so many great things to try and buy. The list of foods we got to try was as follows (those of a sensitive disposition may wish to look away now)

  • A spicy chorizo sausage (on a stick no less, disappointingly it was not sold to me by Cut Me Own Throat Dibbler but we can’t have everything can we?)
  • A duck confit sandwich
  • some artisan black pudding
  • a giant pretzel
  • a giant raspberry meringue
  • wild boar salami
  • garlic salami
  • almond croissant
  • English muffins
  • Wild boar pie

Old Thameside Inn

As chance would have it our internet chum Erik happens to live quite close to Borough Market so we gave him a call and he promptly appeared and took us to a local pub. Sat right next to the Golden Hinde swigging chilled lager is a pretty good way to spend a lunchtime.

Blackwell’s Young Adult Fiction Day

Back onto the tube again and off to our final stop of the day –  the young adult event at Blackwell’s Charing Cross. Arrived slightly late due to my spectacular map reading skills. Also had to leave early in order to catch our train home. That said still did manage to hear readings from Will Hill, Tom Pollock, Tanya Byrne and James Dawson. Shame we didnt manage to catch Kim Curran and Laure Eve but, as I said, this was entirely my fault.

I did spot this when I was in the shop. It will be mine!

Just think of all the unnecessary crap I could carry

Home again, Home again Jiggidy Jig

And then like the ninjas that we are we were off home again.

Till next time

Cheerio

Toodle-oo Ya Tubby Fucker!

This latest post, for a change of pace, is about a single subject that has been close to my heart (and various other organs) for the last year or so.

Today I purchased two new items of clothing. I decided to go out on a limb, take a chance and go with a size large rather than a size extra large.

I’ll have to be honest here and admit that I was more than a little concerned as I have been actively avoiding this exact scenario, and its potential for failure, for a couple of months now.

What made me feel this way?

Well, the thought process goes something like this –  I know that I’ve lost weight, people have been kind enough to mention it and I can even set it myself when I look in the mirror now. The problem though is that the old ‘flabby mindset’ is still there. I’m 6ft 2 and have always been what is politely described as ‘a husky gentleman’ (less polite alternatives used in the past include the charming turn of phrase ‘you fat fuck’, but I digress). Trying to make that mental leap to whatever I am now (normal? standard? less fat? moderately husky?) has actually been one of the hardest things about this whole process. The exercise and dieting are just a habit that I’ve had to learn. Understanding my own body image and how I feel about it strikes me as being an infinitely trickier thing to master.

I suppose that, much like the weight loss itself, I will most likely have to battle those inner voices who constantly demand cake and chocolate for the rest of my life. I’m hoping it continues to go well. (I should also note that writing cathartic, waffly blog posts also seems to help. I apologise in advance).

Please don’t feel badly for me and don’t worry I’m not whinging for no reason either. I am actually really pleased with where I am now its just taken me a bit to realise that I’m going to have to remain constantly vigilant. (In fairness this is probably a good thing as I really should pay more attention to stuff anyway. To say I have the attention span of a goldfish sometimes is not entirely inaccurate).

Its all good peoples of the Web. If things do get bad again I know I can really on my other half to give me a swift kick up the ass for motivational purposes.

On a side note I’m glad to report that in this case the risk appears to have paid off as both t-shirts fit just fine.

Till next time

Be nice to everyone, I’ll be watching.

A Cheesecake Ponders…

One Man and His Tech

I’ve realised that I am slightly obsessive when it comes to tech. I like to embrace new technology whenever I can but it appears that I’m also all about geeking it up as well. I present to the court exhibits A – C as evidence of said 1st degree geekery.

First up my MacBook

Welcome to the Madhouse!

then my Kindle

A wholly remarkable eReader

and finally my phone

 

Bigger on the inside

I think the evidence speaks for itself. The defendant pleads guilty.

The Great Cheese Hunt of 2012

Yesterday Mrs Cheesecake and I hit the city streets of Nottingham on a quest. Our mystical journey was to locate some provolone cheese. Why? (I hear none of you cry) So Mrs C could make a Stromboli and I could eat it. We hunted high and low (ok, so we went to two shops) and eventually managed to source some of this legendary dairy produce. We returned home and the Stromboli was constructed post haste. I’m not going to give a full review, two words should some things up nicely – Fucking smashing.

FantasyCon 2012

Not long till the next Con of 2012 that I’ll be attending. Brighton was a lot of fun last year and I’m hoping for more of the same. I shall endeavour, once again, to reign in my near crippling shyness (always a tough job) and meet many new peoples. Its funny but I genuinely do have trouble meeting/speaking to new people.

Authors are particularly nerve wracking. Don’t get me wrong I’m fine once I relax a bit but initially I have a tendency to be over awed and tongue tied. I suppose its just always a bit of a shock when people ask my opinion about anything. (Wow, what does that say about my self esteem?). The good news is that Mrs C will be with me and this year I know there will be people there who I have met before. This should keep the panics under control*

*You wouldn’t know that I am panicking to look at me. I’m like a fucking iceberg. 90% of me is underwater?…Hmm that analogy made a lot more sense in my head. Oh, wait. I’ve got it. I have hidden depths. Underwater!….what a twat.

Any-who, enough of this folderol, I’m off

Later Programs

End of Line…

 

Many Cheesecake Returns

A short birthday update. Today’s question  – What do you get the man who has everything?

  • Tickets to see the musical version of War of the Worlds (I am just a little obsessed by this album and even though the event isn’t until December I’m already beyond excited).
  • A nice leather cover for my Kindle
  • A sticker (This will be used in conjunction with the Kindle cover, see below. I’m sure the literary among you can figure out where I am going with this)
  • Groo The Adventurer by Sergio Aragones and Mark Evanier
  • I got some cash as well so there will likely be a few books this weekend.

Not bad for an old man. Truly I am a lucky Cheesecake

Maths, Movies, Monsters & Muscles

Pablo Cheesecake vs Mental Arithmetic

This week got off to an odd start. I discovered that my mental arithmetic is not only piss poor it is in fact SPECTACULARLY piss poor. As I have mentioned countless times before I have been on a diet and exercising for nearly a year. I have attempted, and I stress the word attempted here, to keep track of my weight loss. Some how (and I am still not sure how) I managed to utterly bugger that up. For some reason I thought I had nearly lost 3 stone (42lbs my American chooms). This week I finally realised I had actually lost over 4 stone (57 lbs) Don’t get me wrong I’m over the moon about it but you have to admit that is a bit of a fuck up isn’t it?

The Dark Cheesecake Rises

We saw The Dark Knight Rises today. I reckon it rounded of the trilogy quite nicely. Bane’s voice was undoubtedly very silly but everything else was pretty cool. My personal highlight? It’s a toss up between Joseph Gordon Levitt’s character and Anne Hathaway’s bottom.

Also saw the trailer for Dredd on the big screen for the first time.  Karl Urban does some outstanding chin work. I was impressed.

Cake, Cake, Cakeity, Cake

Mrs Cheesecake has once again outdone herself in the kitchen department. This is the cake she made for my and my nephew’s joint birthday party tomorrow*

Monster, Monster, Monster!

* Technically my birthday isn’t until Tuesday but we’re celebrating early.

Third Time to Charm?

Mrs Cheesecake has suggested we go to the gym 3 times a week rather than the normal 2. She must have caught me in a moment of madness because I surprised myself and immediately agreed. This week coming – Monday, Wednesday and Friday we are gyming it. So if I don’t update next weekend you’ll know what finally killed me. Captain Scarlett has electricity, Superman has Kryptonite, Pablo Cheesecake’s one vulnerability – the gym.

Nighty night Internets, I loves ya.

Tomorrow there will be cake

The Dark Cheesecake

My 1st Proper Update ( and about chuffing time too)

Welcome one and all to the shiny new WordPress flavour of my Mid Life Crisis. As of today my Blogger blog is on ice and I’ll be doing all my updates here only. I am going to endeavour to update more regularly than before but in all honesty how long that lasts is anyone’s guess.

So without further ado. My latest nonsense.

The Amazing SpiderCheesecake

I saw The Amazing Spiderman yesterday and I have to admit I was pretty impressed. Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone share a great on-screen chemistry. There were lots of nice little awkward moments between the two that made their burgeoning relationship feel very real. Speaking of awkwardness Garfield does a outstanding job playing the king of  geeky teenagers, Peter Parker. Even when he becomes Spiderman he didn’t entirely lose that sense of uncoordination it was always there lurking in the background. Mrs Cheesecake was impressed with the movement that the new Spiderman was exhibiting. Using a style heavily influenced by parkour it seemed more natural than the previous movies.

Unsurprisingly Martin Sheen and Sally Field were pitch perfect as Uncle Ben and Aunt May. Sheen is utterly convincing and Field brought a nice modern take to a character that has deserved an update for years.

Eagle-eye views will no doubt notice some small nods to the larger Spiderman universe. I really hope that they expand upon these glimpses next time out. Admittedly it is going to be bloody difficult to top J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson. (c‘mon he was fucking splendid, admit it).

I was a little dubious when I heard they were rebooting this franchise, it all seemed a little unnecessary, but now that I’ve seen the results I’m happy to say I have been convinced otherwise. Marc Webb, the director, has shied away from overtly comic conventions and I think works all the better for it. This film falls somewhere in middle ground between the more realistic approach of The Dark Knight and the outrageous spectacle of The Avengers. I heard the other day that Sony are committing to a trilogy with this new cast. Good news. Perhaps we’ll finally see a cinematic interpretation of Electro or Kraven the Hunter?

So Close I Can Smell It

Last July I realised that my dietary habits were, frankly, fucking shocking. I was waddling about at 17st 8lbs (that’s 246lbs American chums) and giving Mrs Cheesecake endless sleepless nights due to may incessant snoring. Now nearly a year to the day  later I am 14st 6lbs (202lbs) and, I’ll be honest, I haven’t felt this good in a long while. As regular readers are aware I’ve been going to the gym regularly for the last six months. That and a healthier diet are starting to pay off. Just 3 more pounds and I’ll be under 200. Its been years and years since I have been that light. (I best keep an eye on things I don’t want to blow away in a strong gust of wind).

Once I hit may target (I’m aiming to drop another 12lbs at least) that’s when things are going to get really tricky.  I’ll need to try to find that elusive balance that will allow me to maintain a healthy lifestyle without falling off the wagon. I don’t ever want to go back to the way I was before. Enjoying my sessions in the gym should help with that. I guess I am going to have to remain ever vigilant.

Ohh and according the Mrs Cheesecake my snoring is a lot quieter than it was before as well.

EdgeLit

This coming weekend I’m going to be in Derby for EdgeLit. Looking forward to it. Every convention I go to is an experience in itself. What makes a con for me? It’s the people that you meet. Though I am naturally quite shy once I get chatting and I come out my shell a bit there is really no stopping me. So if your going to be there and spot a tall, hirsute looking man with bright red hair feel free to engage him in conversation. There is every possibility it may even be me. (I appreciate that I do look a little bit like the bastard son of a Crimewatch photofit and an escaped grizzly bear but honestly I’m harmless and will be happy to natter to anyone).

Thats all for now friends

Till next time, stay golden

The Amazing SpiderCheesecake

Big Fuck-Off Sharks (Not So Big Fuck-Off Cheesecake)

We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Cinema

Mrs Cheesecake and I managed to catch the cinema re-release of Jaws today. I find it hard to believe that the film is almost the same age as me, it has certainly aged far better than I. Fashions and tech have all moved on in that time  but those minor qualms aside this movie really has stood the test of time.  (OK I’m willing to concede that Bruce, in some scenes, does look like a ropey big old rubber shark that he is but hey it was made way back in 1975.)

Scheider, Dreyfuss and, my personal favourite, Shaw are all fantastic. Quint really is a mad fucker isn’t he?*

Captain Insane-o Quint (pictured yesterday)

* And the correct answer to that question is clearly a HUGE – Fuck Yeah!

What surprised me most was all the little things I had forgotten (never noticed?) since the last time I watched the film in its entirety. There is one moment where a couple of meteors shot across the sky just as dawn is breaking over the ocean. Never spotted that before, really nice touch.

I really don’t think there is anyway to improve in the perfection of this film…..or is there? I wonder…

Swim damn you, SWIM!….Oops too late, that T-Rex is screwed!

Interestingly there was also a trailer for the re-release of Chariots of Fire, I guess to tie in with the forthcoming Olympics? Mrs Cheesecake has never seen the film so perhaps we’ll check that out when it arrives. The Vangelis soundtrack still sounds suitably epic by the way.

In the most tenuous of ways Chariots of Fire links to my next thought…

Pablo Cheesecake vs. Pablo Cheesecake

My most difficult of challenges continues as my battle against the bulge rolls ever onward. 3stone (42lbs) so far! Recently though I have to admit that I don’t seem to have lost much weight. (I will keep trying though). That said I think I may be a bit more toned than I was before. Running is getting easier and I am starting to quite enjoy it. I’ve started weight training again, albeit slowly. Haven’t done that seriously since before the whole broken back fiasco thingee.  I’m sure I’ll get there eventually as I have significantly managed to change my diet (out with the crap, in with the tasteless). I just wish I was closer to my target now.

Impatient much? Just need to be a bit more zen about it all I suppose.

I think that’s all I’ve got for tonight. Random as ever.

Later Internet

Sleep well

Cheesecake Assemble!

Welcome, Wilkommen & Bienvenue

It is entirely possible that you are a new follower of mine on one of the various social media networks that I inhabit. If that’s true then it is also possible that you’re only familiar with The Eloquent Page and not the roaming free form consciousness that is my Mid Life Crisis. Let me quickly explain. This is my personal blog for all stuff that isn’t about books. Here I waffle about anything that takes my fancy. Things often get random and frequently degenerate into mindless rants. There are no rules, regular spelling mistakes are guaranteed (or you’re money back) and you can also expect the grossest of crimes against the evil gods of punctuation.

Still there?

Oh good. Lets see what has taken my fancy this week.

It’s (NOT) The End of The World as We Know It

Typical isn’t it. You get yourself all psyched up for the big one and then some archaeological snot comes along at says ‘Nope, we were wrong all this time. The Mayan calendar will actually run for another 7000 years and the world isn’t going to end this December 21st after all’. How disappointing is that? I’ve been stockpiling Pot Noodles and Ruffle Bars for months (I lied about the Ruffle Bars. Do they even make these anymore? I may start to stockpile them just for the hell of it. I bet they aren’t as good as when I was a kid * starts to mutter about all this once being fields, jumpers for goalposts etc, etc*).

ney back) and you can also expect the grossest of crimes against the evil gods of punctuation.

Ruffle Bars. Fuck Yeah!

Back to my point (I’m sure I had one). Ahh yes, overall I am what you would call a trifle disappointed. I was looking forward to something involving mutants and perhaps a nice Mad Max 2 style motif.

Oh well only just over seven thousand years to wait. I’ll see you there?

My First Multiple Joygasm

Yesterday Mrs C and I finally managed to catch a screening of The Avengers. For various reasons we have had to wait for two weeks since it came out. What can I say? Essentially I sat for the entire length of the film with a big dumb goofy grin on my face. It was wonderful. So much so that I had another one of my epiphanies that goes something like this.

I’m working on the assumption that most, if not all of you, have at one time or another had an orgasm (fucking great aren’t they? can’t recommend them enough. If you haven’t had one you really should get around to getting yourself one. They are awfully good. I digress.) In a similar vein there is what I like to call ‘the joygasm’. Now the joygasm is basically that brilliant moment when you are indulging in some activity you love (this can be anything as long as it is not sex) and you experience a moment of sheer unadulterated joy. For me it happens most often to me when I watch films. Here’s a quick list of examples that always ensure I achieve a joygasm

•    The moment Jonh Williams score for Superman begins

•    Lewis Collins running down the hallway at the end of Who Dares Wins

•    The faux happy ending and then the real ending of Brazil (I should note joygasms don’t always have to come from an upbeat cinematic moment).

•    The line “You killed my father. Prepare to die” from The Princess Bride

•    Rowdy Roddy Piper in They Live.

So in a nutshell what I am saying is that each and everyone one of these things always makes me spectacularly happy. I won’t bore you with the reasons why just believe me when I say that they do.

Avengers was chock full of these perfect little moments. *BEWARE MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

•    The Helicarrier

•    Hulk and Thor duking it out

•    Agent Coulson saying goodbye

•    The final battle

•    The after credits scene

•    Loki and The Hulk play rag doll


Avengers Casual Friday

I could so easily go on and on but I’ll attempt to manfully rein my enthusiasm in. Suffice to say, this is, with out a doubt, the biggest spectacle of the year so far. I am in awe. More, I demand it now, immediately if not sooner. Hence the title of this little section of the post My First Multiple Joygasm. I beat you thought this bit was going to be all filthy didn’t you? You perv.

That, There Training Malarkey

I had my first proper blip in my attempt to run 500k in 2012. Last week I over did it when weight training and managed to pull the muscles in my left arm. I ended up having to walk 5k and the gym for the next session as I couldn’t run. I was really annoyed at myself for such a simple mistake. I should have worked up to lifting heavier weights but instead I just over did it and paid the consequences. Lesson learned the hard way. I am glad to say that my arm is just about back to normal. Now if I can just get rid of this spectacular cold I have I should be ready to begin again, sensibly, on Tuesday. Here’s hoping.

Right enough of the random spouting. I’m off to save the world from itself. Until next time be excellent to each other and party on dudes! (Oh yeah, I’m kickin it old school).

Mr C

The Passion of Pablo Cheesecake

A super-duper, extra long, bonus edition of the regular blog because, well frankly, the last couple of days has been a bit fucking EPIC.

This weekend Mrs Cheesecake and I went to the cinema like we usually do (hell if you’ve ever read this blog before you’ll already know that). The only slight wrinkle was the third (yes you read that correct, I said ‘third’) film that we saw. More on that in a bit but first a little about films one and two.

The Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists

This was brilliant fun. Aardman have proved yet again that their approach to animation is a genuine crowd pleaser. Hugh Grant is on fine form as The Pirate Captain. He was pitch-perfect (there’s a sentence I never suspected I’d write about him). Turns out a plasticine pirate is the perfect role for Mr Grant. Martin Freeman, Brian Blessed, Imelda Staunton, Lenny Henry, Russell Tovey, Salma Hayek, Jeremy Piven,  David Tennant and Mr. Bobo all deserve a mention as well for their sterling efforts. If you have ever dreamed about having your own monkey butler (I know I have…actually thinking about it he would probably go all Planet of the Apes on my ass though so perhaps not) this is the film for you.

Yaarr….Avast behind and other dubious puns

Wrath of The Titans

The second film on Saturday afternoon was the sequel to the remake of the film that was somewhat based on the original stories of ancient Greece, Wrath of the Titans. We dutifully purchased our tickets and discovered the following.

Yes, I’m childish enough to find this funny

The film was ok I suppose. The complaints I levelled against Sam Worthington’s hair in the first film have certainly been addressed. The 3D was better than before and the ‘big fuck-off battle’ finale was pretty entertaining. I just wasn’t that interested in the build up that I had to sit through to get there.

Overall I think I probably would have preferred to have seen a film called Wrath of the Tit. Wait a second didn’t Woody Allen do that one time? Lets ask him….hey Woody…Woody!…WOODY!!!….Damn, he seems to be busy.

Wrath of the Tit – Part II*

*It really is amazing what you can find on the Internet isn’t it? Woody vs a Giant Boob…crazy times eh.

The Gospel of Us

The final film of the weekend required a bit more than our usual level of commitment. How about a 400 mile round trip for example.

Yesterday afternoon we found ourselves in Port Talbot, South Wales to attend the premiere of The Gospel of Us starring Michael Sheen and the people of the town. In a nutshell this was a reinterpretation of The Passion Play but with a modern, secular feel. The play itself took place over the three days of Easter 2011 but the director, Dave McKean has spent the last year bringing together footage to create a two hour version of the spectacle.

To be serious for a moment. If you’ve ever seen McKean’s other directorial experiment, MirrorMask, then you will appreciate the director’s iconoclastic approach to any subject he tackles. The Gospel of Us blends music, animation and footage taken on the day to create something that is an assault on the senses. This cinematic event is truly striking and a genuine spectacle to behold. If you get the chance to see this I would strongly advise you take the opportunity. There was a moment near the films climax where I felt all the hairs at the back of my neck stand up. McKean uses some clever editing techniques to bring crowd scenes to life and draw the focus toward the players as the tale unfolds. Astonishing stuff.

Prior to the screening Mrs Cheesecake was in attendance in the press pit and got to meet Mr McKean, who got a free chocolate for his time (Oh yeah, we’re willing to bribe a director. We’ll so go there). Mrs Cheesecake also got some great shots of Michael Sheen, Owen Sheers and Rachel McAdams.

For more details about the event, including photos, check out http://www.michael-sheen.co.uk. (It’s all good I know the owner of the site, I slept with her last night).

Told you it was a big old update didn’t it?

I need to go have a bit of a lie down, I’m spent.

Laters