Beardism 101

Time for a long-overdue personal blog update. As ever, the topics I chose to discuss are entirely random. I can almost guarantee the spelling and punctuation will be amateurish at best.

All Things Beard-ish


Recently I’ve been asked, on three separate occasions, my advice about beards. In each case, once I got over the initial shock that anyone considered me even remotely expert on anything, I dutifully answered the questions to the best of my ability. These terribly manly encounters made me ponder facial hair in all its hirsute glory. I look like Sasquatch on a good day so here, without any further pointless waffling, is my guide to all things beardy.

Points to consider before growing a beard

  • Contrary to what you might have heard it is not the lazy man’s get out clause to avoid shaving. Turns out cultivating a beard takes as much time, if not more, than being clean-shaven.
  • Are you a patient soul? Giving yourself over to the lords of the gruff is not quick. Even if you’re naturally hairy (*holds up hand*) the process takes time. My advice is sit back and enjoy.
  • There will be a point where you experience the dreaded itch. It is going to happen. You cannot avoid it. I’d imagine a whole lot of potentially epic beards fall by the wayside at this point. Don’t give up, keep going!! As with all things the itchiness will soon pass. You just need to power through.

So, you’re growing a beard…


  • In my experience, facial hair is profoundly different to the hair on the top of your head. Do not expect it to behave in the same way. For example, the hair on my chin is far more wavy than the hair on the top of my noggin.

  • Find your style – This is the fun part, you get to experiment. It doesn’t matter if you’re going for pirate, Viking, gunslinger, wizard (my current style of choice), Amish carpenter or 18th century Russian Orthodox rabbi just enjoy yourself. I could wang on about how some people think different shaped faces lend themselves better to specific styles but I think that is a load of old tosh. If you are going to rock a beard, OWN IT! To hell with what anyone else thinks.


  • I’ve spoken to different beardists about this one and the jury is still out. The best way to look after your face based security blanket is entirely up to you.
  • Try to get into a routine. I normally wash my beard a couple of times a week using a beard shampoo. Other days it just gets a rinse while I am in the shower. There is something wonderfully soothing about a good old clean.
  • The one thing I am not going to do in this post is recommend one brand of beard products over another. There are tons to chose from. Find the ones you like. The various oils, lotions and potions I’ve tried do tend to make my bristles a little softer and, usually for around twenty seconds every morning, smell absolutely amazing. It’s a nice process, I always feel like I am pampering myself. It’s a pleasant why to start any day.
  • Too blow dry or not to blow dry? – Once again I have heard conflicting opinions about this. Most mornings when I get out of the shower, after applying my product of choice, I do blow dry my beard so I can give it a brush. My only advice is use a cool setting so the hair doesn’t get too damaged.
  • Go to a barbers once in a while – After having a full beard for quite a few years I finally plucked up the courage to go and see a barber*. I really should have done it so much sooner. My local barber enjoys a natter and is licensed so will happily provide a bottle of beer during a trim. Its all terribly civilised. The most important thing I’ve learned is that a good barber will be able to tidy up your facial topiary without diminishing your impressive growth.
  • I’ll admit I did spend a little cash to get a quality boar’s hair brush. Trust me, its worth it. Giving the old beard a good brush from time to time is an absolute joy. It reduces a condition I like to call “Kinky Beard” quite dramatically.
  • A word of caution, you may need to modify your eating behaviour. Going full Hagrid has meant I’ve had to pay more attention when putting things like soup in my mouth. Dairy products are also a group that you need to watch out for. You do not want an errant crumb of cheese or a splash of milk find its way into the depths of your face maze. The stink of stale foodstuffs under your nose all day ain’t much fun.

General Tips

  • Get a cat or dog so you came blame them when you shed hair. You will definitely shed.
  • Choose your hat wisely.

I appreciate beards aren’t for everyone but I just thought I would offer a little advice. Chances are I’m stuck with this for life now. My better half thinks I look like Peter Griffin when I am without it so the face rug stays.

Till next time ya filthy animals!

Pablo Beard-cake

*I was genuinely concerned I would be mocked for poor beard maintenance.

The Cheesecake Who Came In From The Cold

I’m sure we can all agree that the last couple of weeks have been pretty fucking chilly. There has been snow and ice and then more snow and more nice. Based on looking out of the window this morning, I can only assume that this cold spell has finally passed.

It makes me just a little bit sad. Unlike most people, I’m gonna miss it.

Why? Well, I could tell you I like to go sledging or I have a penchant for winter fashions. I could even suggest that I enjoy putting my feet up in front of a roaring fire (all of these things are true by the way but none of them are the real reason). The real reason is that the cold weather, particularly heavy snow, always reminds me of home.

Way back in the dim and distant past of 1978, I was involved in a serious road accident. I was 4½ years old at the time. I won’t bore you with the gory details. All you need to know is I suffered a serious head injury and ended up in hospital for a long time (don’t feel badly for me I was incredibly lucky it turns out.)

Every memory prior to that protracted hospital stay is gone now, and I mean every single solitary thing. For all intents and purposes, Pablo Cheesecake began in that hospital. What I do remember, and I remember it in vivid technicolor-esque detail, is looking out of a window and seeing snow. Lots of it.

Now, whenever I see snow I remember that hospital stay, and more importantly I recall the day that I got to go home. There is a photograph of me, no doubt tucked away in a cupboard somewhere, that shows a young Pablo Cheesecake standing outside a house snow all around. He’s lucky to be alive, and you know what? Even now, 35yrs later, he ain’t ever gonna forget it.

A typically wintry scene

A typically wintry scene

I would apologise for being overly sentimental in this post, but fuck it. I don’t care. I like to sit and ponder the nature of existence, and it just so happens that snow is one of my triggers.

*blows raspberry*

If you don’t like it the door is just over there. Don’t let it hit you on the ass on the way out.

Anywho… I think that’s enough of this dwelling on the past malarkey. Lets look to the future.

Later Internet Brethren


Assorted Bits and Pieces

Mac Software

Now that I am more comfortable with my shiny new MacBook I’ve been delving into all the different applications that are available for me to try out. So far there have been a couple of apps that have impressed. I installed Delicious Library 2 last night and had a play. Wow how cool is this. Using the webcam it reads the barcode on an item eg book, blu-ray or DVD and then imports all the details direct from Amazon into a collection database. It works very well. I am seriously considering purchasing a licence so I can add all my books and DVDs. The demo version is limited to 25 records. Best feature is it tells you exactly what is imported. Spookily it sound a bit like Stephen Hawking!

The other app is NewsFire. This is an excellent RSS feed reader. It manages to cope with the 94 feeds I fool without so much as a grumble. It also displays the information in a very readable format. Best of all…it’s free!

Tis nearly the Season to be Jolly

I know it’s only the 2nd December but the wintry weather has made me come over all festive. I’m lucky that at the end of a long cold day I get to shuffle back to our little Hobbit hole and cosy up next to her inside the doors. I’m an Autumn\Winter kinda guy, what can I say I always have been. I’m looking forward to a couple of weeks of large dinners and putting my feet up in front of a roaring fire.


Glad to report I managed to raise £65 for charity in November. My moustache wearing helped raise awareness for prostate and testicular cancer charities. Next year I am going to attempt something a bit bigger but more on that in 2011.

A New Tattoo

Mrs Cheesecake is getting some new ink. Arty type that she is she has designed it herself.


I, as ever, am jealous.

Good night peoples





I would cycle 500K and I would cycle 500 more

After 11 months I have completed my mission for 2010. I have managed to cycle 500 kilometres. I did a bit of research and to give you an idea of how far that is Oxford to Aberdeen is four hundred and ninety eight kilometres. If you do the math you’ll have worked out I could have done more as 2km a day times 365 days works out at 730km but I factored in things like holidays. I also only cycled five days a week rather than seven. I wanted a target that was sensible and achievable.

For 2011 I’ve decided I’m going to try something different. So here and now in black and white, drum roll please, I’m going to attempt 20,000 sit ups in 2011. Again I have set some parameters for this challenge. Only going to do sit ups four days a week as I intend to still take a couple of days off  week and also still do some cycling. Every alternate day I will also be weight training.

You know how the saying goes. What doesn’t kill you makes stronger. I sure hope so.

Roll on 2011another challenge ahoy.

Till next time

Mr C

Techno Excitement

After much ummming and ahhhing on my part I finally decided to take the plunge and purchase my first Mac. I decided I have grown accustomed to the mobility that my laptop gives me so it was really a toss up between the MacBook Air and the MacBook Pro. I wanted to be able to upgrade my tech easily in the future so I have gone for a mighty Pro.

So far so good. I guess I would equate the experience with learning a new language. I’ve been using IBM compatible machines since the earlier nineties, my Mac experience so far is about two hours.


Oh I managed to upload and include a photo. There is hope I that I manage to tame this savage new beast after all.

Not a huge blog but be gentle I’m still learning.

Till next time

Pablo Mac ‘n’ Cheesecake

The Usual Tosh

This week has been marred by a nasty case of man flu. I have a bad cough that sound like I’m barking (yes more than normal). My head she aches and my throat she is sore. Needless to say with only the weekend left to go before I go back to work I am finally starting to feel better. Bloody typical really. Anyway I will persevere with this post and see if any insightful gems appear. (I would’t hold your breath).

The walking dead

One of the highlights of the week was last night. FX showed the first episode of The Walking Dead. I have to admit to being suitably impressed. I haven’t read any of Robert Kirkman’s graphic novels but based on the first ep of the show I intend to remedy that real soon. Kudos to Andrew Lincoln and Lennie James for making a zombie apocalypse seem 100% believable. I was particularly impressed with how the psychological toll that both men have suffered was portrayed. Looking forward to next Friday all ready.

Does a lot of good work for charity

Whenever I give my time to a charity I have two simple criteria. Firstly it has to be a cause I believe in. Secondly it has to be fun. Since the beginning of the week I have been sporting a chopper moustache in aid of Movember.

Rockin The Chop

The funds raised through Movember’s UK campaign benefit the The Prostate Cancer Charity, the UK’s leading prostate cancer charity. I have managed £50. That’s not bad but I’m sure we can do better (HINT, HINT). The team I’m in have raised over £100 so far. All good work just for looking a bit daft for a month. No great stretch for me I look pretty daft anyway!

Oh before I forget. If you haven’t already and want to donate my donation page is here

World of Warcaft: Cataclysm

In around a months time the next update to World of Warcraft is launched. I think it’s fair to say that I have spent a quite large amount of time playing this game so I’m just a little bit excited about this release. Put it this way I wouldn’t bother trying to contact me on the 7th December.

Speaking of which I’m off.

Chopper Cheesecake

Just a typical Saturday

Mrs Cheesecake and I pootled off to into town today. We started the morning with what turned out to be a truly uninspired breakfast at a local department store. I mean using powdered egg for the scramble? For fuck sake! I was lead to believe that rationing ended years ago. Couldn’t manage a few real eggs un-named department store? (c’mon we might need to go back one day). The only highlight of the whole escapade was that we ran into a demolition expert friend of mine called Thor. Ok admittedly he is only a few weeks old but I have high hopes he will one day embrace a life in demolitions. Strangely his mother  refers to him by another name. Steadfastly refuses to call him Thor.

Afterwards we headed to the local cinema and sat down to watch Red. I’ve not read the graphic novel but I liked the look of the trailers I have seen. Turns out this is a real fun movie. Bruce Willis and Karl Urban beat the shit out of one another and Helen Mirren gets to do some epic wet work with some heavy munitions. Add John Malkovich, Mary Louise Parker, Morgan Freeman, Brian Cox and Richard Dreyfus into the mix and this makes for a rather splendid comedy thriller.  Mrs Cheesecake and I both rated the film. In her words ‘it was violent and brilliant’. I don’t think I could have put it more eloquently myself.

Next week we are all about the sci-fi. We are going to see Dr Who Live. I am so excited it is bordering on illegal. Really looking forward to seeing the show. I have also managed to snag a couple of tickets to the Tron Legacy preview event. This could very well be the film of the year for me. Tron had a profound effect back in 82 so there is a distinct possibility that the sequel will be as mind blowing. If it isn’t IHollywood will incur my wrath (it’s ok I don’t really have a wrath but don’t tell them. I want them to be quaking in their Hollywood boots. It’ll keep them on their game).

In my head, if I were in Tron. I would be like this.


The more likely, and disappointing, reality would be like this.


Catch you on the Game Grid.

End of Line

Hmmm that blog seems to have wandered off into Tron flavoured waffle didn’t it? What do you mean you didn’t read that far? Ohh suit yourself.

The Post with No Name…

Sounds ominous doesn’t it?

The truth couldn’t be more banal. It’s been ages since I wrote anything on my personal blog so I thought tonight would be a prime opportunity to do so. Immediately I had this idea I felt trapped. What should I call this mighty work? (The blogging world was my lobster so to speak). I wanted to write about just random thoughts and stuff that had happened in the last month but I just couldn’t figure out where to start. I very quickly discounted the titles Random Bollocks and also Never-ending Tosh. These both seemed to some up the content of what I was going to write but I just couldn’t bring myself to use either.

Hence the title. Now that I’ve got that out of the way let us begin.


I managed to snag a couple of free tickets to the 23 minute preview event next week. I am so jazzed about this. I remember seeing Tron when I was knee high to a grasshopper and it blew my mind. Based on what I have seen so far of the sequel I can only expect it will do exactly the same. This is one instance where I think that 3D will enhance rather than detract from the viewing experience.


Zombie Appreciation Month moves on a pace over at The Eloquent Page. Three reviews down and two more to go. This Friday I’ll be posting my thoughts on Feed by Mira Grant.

Prepare yourself!

It has been a lot of fun but I think I’m just about all zombied out. (Is zombied a word?)  Looking forward to reading something (anything) that doesn’t include the walking dead. Just need a change of pace I think.


I like to tinker around on my little website or write some random nonsense here on my blog. My better half however is far more advanced at this type of technical wizardry than I. She runs all by herself. It is bonkers the amount of time she puts in just to give her visitors a seamless M Sheen related experience. Hats off to her. She deserves some sort of Webbo award.  I may make her one. Its ok she doesn’t read this blog she’ll never know I suggested it.


I am very lucky. Every working day I get to walk across a university campus and see the changing seasons. At this time of year the colours are truly remarkable. No matter how shit my day has been I am always cheered by the walk home. I’m also look forward to my favourite time of year – Winter. I love the dark nights and a roaring fire. Gosh I’m getting all dewy eyed just thinking about it.

Enough of this sentimental jabbering.



100 Posts Young!

Wow….100 blog posts. Who’d a thunk it. I actually started writing for fun back in the halcyon days of 2008 but didn’t really get my blog head on properly until 2009. I was planning a big old celebration for reaching 100 (in blog years) but all I ended up doing was thinking about it. So here, briefly, are my thoughts.  I’ve mentioned this before so if you’ve already read before please feel free to skip to the next bit of twaddle.

Writing a blog for me is a pressure value release type thingy (nice use of a technical term there). I write because I find it a cathartic experience. Real life can be, at times, a grind and waffling on my own little island in this ocean we call the internet is just plain fun as far as I’m concerned. 

Went a wee bit philosophical there didn’t I. Can’t be having that can we.

Enough of the preamble. What’s in the grey matter I like to call my brain today. Lets give it a shake and see what falls out.

Pot Noodle, Wagon Wheels and Ruffle Bars

A million years ago when I was a nipper I remember that things were bigger. It certainly seemed that way? I was thinking about this the other day. The thought process goes something like this – Is it just because I am grown up (I use the term very loosely) things appear smaller or have items I recall as a child actually shrunk? I experienced this niggling doubt recently when I purchased a Pot Noddle – it seemed to be much smaller than I remember. 

hmmmm raspberry

The same seems to be true of a lot of sweets I used to enjoy as well. I used to love Raspberry Ruffle Bars. They used to be bigger damn it. I’m also 100% sure that Wagon Wheels used to be the size of a small plate. Do they even sell them anymore?

Wagon Wheels yesterday

Less than 100KM to go

As a little update, in case anyone cares. I have cycled past the 400KM mark on my epic journey. I now have a minuscule 93KM to go. This has been a real challenge for me and I’m quite (ok very) smug about it. I had no idea at the start of this year I would manage this. Ever since I broke my back I have struggled to exercise effectively but I think I have finally found something that works for me so yay!

What Tattoos Do You Do?

I have been considering getting more ink. I already have a number of tattoos but I think I want more. I’m a firm believer that tattoos should mean something to you. All the ink I have certainly means something to me. Yes even the tattoo of Bugs Bunny. (Long involved story I won’t go into here but get me drunk and I will happily ramble on for hours). At  present I cant decide what way to go. I should probably start by getting the Celtic knot work piece on my arm finished. Then perhaps next I should go with something in-keeping with my character? Maybe a self portrait?

This looks like a self portrait

After writing this bit above I discovered my sister got a new tattoo today. That has to be some sort of strange cosmic convergence or something?

In Conclusion

I guess as long as there is an interweb I will continue to prattle on. If your interested keep reading, who knows what we’ll find out. If not don’t let the virtual door hit you on the ass on the way out.

Ta Ta For Now


Resident Cheesecake

Everyone has to have a few guilty pleasures in their life. You know what I’m talking about. Those little things that you know in your heart of heats are embarrassing,cheesy or just plain wrong. I have decided to admit my own personal shame. Here goes…….


My name is Pablo.

I enjoy the Resident Evil movies.

All of them.
 Survive the Cheese!

Back in 2002 when I sat down to watch the first film I didn’t have high expectations but by the time, the mighty, Colin Salmon was sliced and diced the movie had won me over.  Odd that this is yet another movie where Michelle Rodriguez dies. (Actually while I think about this how about letting her do  movie version of Anita Blake? The first couple of books before it went off on that weird supernatural pornfest it is now)

2004 brought us Resident Evil: Apocalypse. More of the same. The sinister Umbrella Corporation continuing to reek havoc on the good people of Racoon City.

Three years later and Resident Evil: Extinction hit our screens. The contagion released had gone global.

As each film was released and the plots got more and more outlandish I discovered that they had managed to worm a place in my heart. They are cheesy as hell but I love the fact that the don’t take themselves too seriously. The Resident Evil films are brain candy of the highest order. They are dumb but they know it and they are loads of fun.

Resident Evil: Afterlife is due for release in the UK next weekend. It’s in 3D, which I admit I’m not totally sold on yet but I’ll still be there.

WOW. Now that was liberating. I may do this again at some point. I am sure that I have a few more cinematical skeletons in my closet.