A Cheesecake Ponders…

Posted on August 5, 2012 by paul

One Man and His Tech

I’ve realised that I am slightly obsessive when it comes to tech. I like to embrace new technology whenever I can but it appears that I’m also all about geeking it up as well. I present to the court exhibits A – C as evidence of said 1st degree geekery.

First up my MacBook

Welcome to the Madhouse!

then my Kindle

A wholly remarkable eReader

and finally my phone

Bigger on the inside

I think the evidence speaks for itself. The defendant pleads guilty.

The Great Cheese Hunt of 2012

Yesterday Mrs Cheesecake and I hit the city streets of Nottingham on a quest. Our mystical journey was to locate some provolone cheese. Why? (I hear none of you cry) So Mrs C could make a Stromboli and I could eat it. We hunted high and low (ok, so we went to two shops) and eventually managed to source some of this legendary dairy produce. We returned home and the Stromboli was constructed post haste. I’m not going to give a full review, two words should some things up nicely – Fucking smashing.

FantasyCon 2012

Not long till the next Con of 2012 that I’ll be attending. Brighton was a lot of fun last year and I’m hoping for more of the same. I shall endeavour, once again, to reign in my near crippling shyness (always a tough job) and meet many new peoples. Its funny but I genuinely do have trouble meeting/speaking to new people.

Authors are particularly nerve wracking. Don’t get me wrong I’m fine once I relax a bit but initially I have a tendency to be over awed and tongue tied. I suppose its just always a bit of a shock when people ask my opinion about anything. (Wow, what does that say about my self esteem?). The good news is that Mrs C will be with me and this year I know there will be people there who I have met before. This should keep the panics under control*

*You wouldn’t know that I am panicking to look at me. I’m like a fucking iceberg. 90% of me is underwater?…Hmm that analogy made a lot more sense in my head. Oh, wait. I’ve got it. I have hidden depths. Underwater!….what a twat.

Any-who, enough of this folderol, I’m off

Later Programs

End of Line…

High Time for an Update

Posted on March 31, 2012 by paul

Once again over a month has hurtled by and I have not managed to post even the most rudimentary of blog posts. I really don’t know where the time disappears to. I think I have to make a bit more of an effort (we’ve all heard that one before haven’t we. didn’t stick to it last time so unlikely I’ll stick to it again but fuck it I’ll give it a try.)

The Running Man

First some good news. I am now well over the first 100K of my epic 500K for 2012 (I’m at 130K fact fans). A few thoughts have struck now that I have established a bit of a rhythm to the challenge.

Running on a treadmill can get a little boring. I am starting to picture myself as a giant 6ft 2 hamster. That probably isn’t a good thing unless I was a furry (I’m not). I’ve wondered about asking the gym to provide some sort of incentive to liven things up. Perhaps releasing a wildcat into the room? That would certainly make things more exciting wouldn’t it?
Thought I know the exercise is doing me good my there are moments when my body seems to disagree. Various aches and pains are starting to make themselves known on a regular basis. The most peculiar injury so far is a strain to the middle finger of my left hand. Don’t know how I managed it and the bloody thing just won’t go away.
Ultimately I suppose that it’s all good. No pain, no gain and all that. Since the start of this epic journey I’ve gone from 17st 8lbs to 15st 4lbs. This brings my total weight loss overall since I started to 32lbs. Hopefully this time I’ll keep it all off!

Techno-Envy

My arch-nemesis came back to haunt me with a vengeance over the last couple of weeks. The 21st century green eyed monster I have labelled ‘techno-envy‘ has reared its ugly head again. First the new iPads were unleashed (I know, I know. I don’t need one. Doesn’t mean I don’t want one though) and then I made the mistake of switching on my old laptop. Compared to Mrs Cheesecake’s new beast of a desktop my laptop is, frankly, a bit shite. I’ve since found myself here regularly drooling at all the fine bits of kit that are on offer. I foresee a purchase on the horizon.

The Social Media Brick Wall

I think that I have reached an impasse when it comes to all the social media that I currently inhabit. Hmmm, how best to explain? You would think that using Twitter/FB/Blogger et al for years now that I would be getting more confident and better at navigating through the technological molasses that is the internet? No, not at all. In fact, if anything, I am getting worse. I’ve done a terrible job of promoting my review site and seem to fail regularly at connecting online with other like minded peoples. Due to this my apathy towards all forms of social media seems to be growing exponentially. I get frustrated and annoyed far too quickly. (I should stress here that my anger and frustation are almost entirely directed at myself).

Perhaps some sort of self imposed exile may be in order just so I can come back to this arena at a later date with a more positive attitude to it all. I just don’t know the best way out of this techno-funk? The solution to my current malaise may require more brain power than I previously thought.

The Con is On!

I am however somewhat hopeful that my overcast mood will soon lift. Why? Well, Alt.Fiction is very nearly upon us. I was fortunate enough to attend last year and I had a rather good time. This year the event takes place in Leicester . Never been there before so it’ll be interested to check out somewhere new.

My one resolution for this year is the same as it always is – try and be a bit less shy. You might not realise this to look at me but inside I’m just a huge, uncoordinated, awkward bag of nerves when around people I’m slightly in awe of. For clarification I am in awe of anyone who is more creative than I am (so that’s effectively the entire population of the planet).

Anyway, if you happen to be there and you see a slightly bemused looking Scotsman with bright red hair please do say hello. I will certainly try and respond. Perhaps even using something that resembles a human language? Your guess is as good as mine.

Right I’ve had enough of the writing malarkey for now. I’ll leave with a bit of abstract art that Mrs Cheesecake and I crafted while out shopping last night. It’s a reflective piece that offers insight into the rampant consumerism that plagues our planet….

Rude words, run away!

…or it may just be childish, fucking about.

TTFN

Lazy Technology

Posted on October 16, 2011 by paul

Does tech enhance our lives and make things easier or does it just make us big old amorphous lazy blobs? I’ve been thinking about it and after much pondering I think I’ll go with the second conclusion.

Why would you come to that staggering conclusion Pablo?

Well, basically because I am lying in bed writing this post on my iPhone. Fuck – even for me that is lazy. I mean seriously I’m in bed writing a blog post on a phone. It’s not even difficult.

On second thought perhaps this is a good thing? Maybe horizontal blogging is the future? If it catches on remember you heard about it here first!

A Random Ten Things

Posted on October 14, 2011 by paul

Tonights post is brought to you by ten random things that have occurred this week in my life.

I’m obsessing about sandwiches again. This time something called a Reubens. Mrs Cheesecake has bought into the lunacy and we are going to prepare our own salt beef brisket. Takes about a week to do so don’t be surprised if there us another update re: this in about seven days time.
So iOS5 landed this week. Based on what I have read on the interweb I have had a hassle free update. Some others have had some issues. I guess I have been lucky.
Fantasycon is going back to Brighton in 2012. The same team that were responsible for this year’s con are going to be running the show again. Same hotel as well. I am pretty keen to attend I think. This year was a great deal of fun. Lots of real nice folks there this time out so I don’t see why it shouldn’t be the same again next year.
This years annual challenge is still going strong. To recap 20000 sit-ups in 2011. This week I have hit 15700. Possibility of completing challenge remains highly likely.
Werewolves continue to usurp my reading list. Poetry as well. Truly a eclectic mix.
I bought a body warmer. This must herald the return of the 1980s. I look forward to the return of day glo socks. They were fucking great.
I have admit defeat and concede that the pumpkins have not performed as well as I would have hoped. I think again the great British weather is entirely to blame. Next year there will be greenhouse and hopeful slightly more successful crops. The parsnips will get picked this weekend. My hopes for them are sightly higher.
No movement on Project Cthulu yet. Perhaps in the New Year If I’m lucky.
Tomorrow my brother in law is coming to visit and we are off to see The Three Musketeers. I have a great love for Frenchie styled movies. I love the numerous versions of The Count of Monte Cristo and also The Three Musketeers so this should be fun.
Messing about with my phone earlier I captured Freya up to mischief – No I don’t know what she is doing either. I’m sure she is up to something though.

Cat in a bag

Nighty night,

Sleep Tight,

Don’t panic there aren’t any bedbugs that’ll bite….

Just me hiding under your bed

Hey, Hey Its Saturday

Posted on September 3, 2011 by paul

Of Fantasycon and Holidays

Not long to go now till a two week holiday topped of with a visit to Fantasycon 2011 in Brighton. This will be our third FCon but I’ve never been to Brighton before so I’m looking forward to visiting somewhere new. There are a number of book launches that sound exactly great. Roll on our long weekend at the seaside. Hopefully I’ll meet some of you there? I’ll be the one with the bright red hair. More on that nearer the time I think.

The Curse of the Brown Trousers

(Before reading this update it would be well worth your while to check out my last post to understand the ins and outs of my trouser trauma. Hmmm trouser trauma sounds rude. Please note this is not erection related in any way. Just in case you were worried.)

They have finally arrived and I’m wearing them right now as I type. They seem to be very comfortable. Will this change my entire wardrobe? I dont think so. I’m still reticent to move into the realms of corduroy for example. At the very least I have a new choice I suppose. Like I’ve said before I’m not a fashionista so change is always a bit traumatic. Baby steps eh people?

Walking Music

This morning I had some errands to attend to and I decided I would do them on foot. Nice to get a bit of exercise and all that. I also decided it would be a good idea to take along my iPhone so I could listen to some sounds along the way.

My musical tastes are at best described as eclectic but I have a confession to make. Most of the time when I walk along the street this is what is playing in my head anyway.

or this

I fear I may have revealed to much. Oops. Oh well, never mind.

New Blogger

Looks like Blogger has a had a bit of an update. I am liking some of the new features. Certainly this first attempt at using it has been stress free.

Anyway enough of this waffle

Till next our paths cross

Your servant

Pablo Cheesecake Esq.

A New Post About Things and Stuff

Posted on July 21, 2011 by paul

Pablo Cheesecake vs Himself

It was inevitable really. After years of moaning about everything else it was only a matter of time before I turned my attention to the worst offender of them all. The King of the Hill, El Numero Uno, The Big Kahuna, the Grand Fromage………me.

What could possibly cause all this full on self-loathing? Hmm…how best to put it….Since I turned thirty my body has been failing me on, what seems like, a regular basis.

The most recent trauma is a recurrence of my thyroid issues. Now for those blissfully ignorant of this particular gland the thyroid helps to regulate energy levels in your body. Mine, putting it as succinctly as possible, is fucked. I have been using medication for a few years now to help manage the problem. A while back my doctor suggested a reduction in my meds. Initially everything seemed fine and, as is the way with these things, I promptly forgot all about it.

Cut to last week. In the space of one day I feel asleep at my desk at work, then on the bus on the way home and for a third time at around 8pm. As soon as I sit down and I am not focusing on anything I start to drift off and then fall asleep.

The worst part, without doubt, is that this is causing problems with my reading. I am sure most of you are aware that I run The Eloquent Page. I like to keep it ticking over and try to post a couple of reviews a week. For me a couple of books of week is an easily achievable goal. Unfortunately my thyroid is causing me no end of grief. No matter how much I am glued to the latest novel I am reading if I get too comfortable and relax and then I start to fall asleep. It is making things difficult to keep to a regular posting schedule. I am going to try to keep going and hopefully the boffins can sort me out. I just feel terribly disappointed. Literally at the point where things are starting to pick up with the site and I am failing myself.

Sorry. I apologise. Please excuse the self-pity. I just needed to vent a bit. its just so fucking annoying. I feel fine but can’t stay awake. There are many people in the world that are way worse off than I am so I don’t really have any right to complain.

The Linear Nature of Time

Days and months zip by and on a much more upbeat note, it is my birthday this weekend. Has it really been a whole year? I’m looking forward to spending a nice day with Mrs Cheesecake. She has promised a slap up lunch, always a bonus, and I know she has a couple of surprise gifts hidden somewhere. When it comes to birthdays and Christmas I am still a big kid. I love opening gifts and enjoy the festiveness of it all. If I think about it I dont really care what age I am. Every year seems to bring new challenges but also new joys. I’m just aiming to be happy in my own skin. Not the loftiest of goals but a good one I think.

Of Hobbits and Caped Crusaders

The latest production diary for The Hobbit surfaced this morning. Once again I find myself swept up in all the excitement. Peter Jackson is entirely the right man for the job, as he has proved already with Bad Taste and Braindead. (If you haven’t seen either then seek them out immediately dammit! ) I think he did direct some other stuff but I am not sure what they are about.

Meanwhile Batman Live has finally started it’s tour. Mrs Cheesecake and I have tickets for when it arrives in Nottingham. If it is as good as Doctor Who Live was we should be in for a real treat. Nothing better than a public entertainment is there? I have high hopes. I’m also looking forward to the forthcoming DC reboot. I just need to decided what titles to spend my hard earned on.

The Woes of a Gadget Whore

I was complaining a while back that I had owned my shiny new iPhone 4 for a while and was yet to receive a phone call on it. Now don’t panic I’m not looking for your pity. I don’t get a great deal of phone calls full stop but that’s cool I contact my peoples via the social media and what not. I just wanted to relate the tale of what happened when I finally did get my first call.

Mrs Cheesecake rang to let me know she would be late. The phone started to vibrate (like the conscientious sod I am I tend to put it on silent. Which in itself is a shame as I have cracking ring-tone but I digress *see below*) Any way, I answered the phone with a flourishing swipe of my finger on the touchscreen.

“Hello” says I

….Not a peep in response

“Hello” again nothing.

Finally after about 30 seconds I remember that my headphones are plugged in to the phone but I am wearing them round my neck not on my ears. Turns out that once again, though I love my technology, I am the very definition of ‘a tool’.

* Here, for anyone that has gotten this far, is my current ring-tone*

Till my next rant.

Laters

The Caped Cheesecake

Absence Makes The Cheesecake Stronger

Posted on July 9, 2011 by paul

Normal Service will now be resumed…. again…..probably….

I haven’t posted anything new for ages. I noticed earlier in the week that I had only written one post for the whole of June. I not sure what is going on. Maybe my sub-conscious has actively taken a dislike to my blog? I’m not sure why. Perhaps I have just not felt the need to divulge any of my goings on? Weird non? I’m pretty sure that I did stuff during the month of June, Alt.Fiction springs to mind, but I just didn’t feel the need to write about it here.

(For those new to my Mid-Life Crisis. This blog is my stream of consciousness where I will talk about everything, well everything except books 🙂 You can go to The Eloquent Page for that. Here you will find everything from drunken rants about Tesco carrier bags to the hunt for the perfect fish finger sandwich and not forgetting my epic quest for the world’s greatest condiment. Essentially it is a big old rambling cathartic mess. Anyway back to the action. Sorry about the interruption. You should probably note I can’t promise that it won’t happen again.)

Pablo Cheesecake – How does your garden grow?

That’s a bloody good question. The vegetable garden continues to provided mixed results. Admittedly the wildly erratic British weather has a lot to do with it. I have discovered that I like to potter around in the garden. Turns out that growing stuff is a rather marvelous thing. I’ve gotten into the habit of checking every day just to see what has changed. Recently, for example, the potatoes have taken over while the sweetcorn shows a certain degree of tenacity. The good news is that I can confirm there is garlic! In fairness the vast majority of the credit lies squarely on the shoulders of Mrs Cheesecake. She is the green fingered one. I just like to enjoy the various comings and goings as the seasons change.

Hugh Grant and Phone Hacking

I watched Question Time last on Thursday, that in itself is a bit of a rarity, and was as impressed by Hugh Grant as I was distressed by the politicians that where on the panel with him. Its not often that I get drawn into politics but the current situation that is occurring the in UK makes my blood boil. First that it took place at all and secondly that all the botched cover ups and so called investigations that have happened afterwards. That and the fact the the ring leaders appear to be getting away with it Scot free is a damned outrage. They are a shower of teflon coated oily fuckers, all of them.

Another Year Older

I’ll be thirty seven years old in a couple of weeks. Have I matured any in the last twelve months? Thinking about it the quick answer is probably not. I continue to wander through life in a slightly befuddled and bemused fashion. Perhaps one day I will figure it all out. No doubt to be hit by a bus shortly thereafter. On a positive note at least I have passed the half way stage on my sit up challenge. 10600 situps done so far this year. 9400 left to got. No applause necessary. Tis but a trifle.

Blessed are the Cheese-Straw Makers

Today, while I wax lyrical on the interweb, Mrs Cheesecake has got her baking head on. So far she has made cheese straws, mini rosemary focaccia and a tomato, onion and thyme tart. We are of to a BBQ later and all these goodies are going with us. Fortunately I have had the opportunity to sample everything first. It’s all good.

and finally…..There and Back again

I just watched the second video blog from the filming of The Hobbit. Again there was a spike in my excitement levels for this project. Everything just looks so right. The days really can’t pass quick enough.

Till next time I remember that I have a blog

Stay Golden

Senor Pablo Cheesecake

A week of unhealthy obsession…..

Posted on April 3, 2011 by paul

Once again Mrs Cheesecake is out in the fresh air attacking the garden with an admirable vigour. I, meanwhile, am hiding out in the spare room pondering the universe. This week I have mostly been obsessing about all the little things.

Pablo Cheesecake – Stat Whore

A negative I’ve noticed about running The Eloquent Page is that I have started to obsess about the number of hits the site receives on a daily basis. It’s ridiculous really. I get caught up with numbers, always have if I’m honest. I set myself a target and once I reach that I always have to try and go one better. If for any reason I get less than the day before I am thrown into a blind panic and start to question my entire existence.

This behaviour has to stop. I need to remember the reason I created the site in the first place. For those playing along at home the correct answer is – To get back into reading and to connect with others who love a good read.

In an effort to curb the madness and reclaim my sanity I am only going to post once this week, on Friday.

A game of cheesecake

This week I’m also attempting to take on my Moby Dick of reading, my great white literary whale, A Game of Thrones. I thought I should read before the TV show starts. I’ve mentioned in the past that I have never managed to read this book and I am more determined than ever to break the back of this beast. Unfortunately I am not off to a flying start, only 30 pages in *sadface*. Hell I should probably be reading it right now but instead I am waxing lyrical on the interweb.

green lantern

I saw the new footage of the Green Lantern on the internet yesterday. I was impressed and then I was panicked. Is it too good to be true? Have we been subjected to the best 4 minutes already and the movie as a whole will not the what I hoped it could be? Am I obsessing again about things that I have absolutely no control over whatsoever? I remain fearfully optimistic.

feel the Burn

I reached a milestone with the old situps at the beginning of the week. I have now sailed past 5000 and I am bang on track to achieve 20000 in 2011. Now that I have settled into a routine I am starting to panic that it is getting too easy and I wont reap any benefits. I’m worried that if there is less pain there will be less gain. I’ll be honest the KFC probably isn’t helping either.

Great Scott! I’m a gibbering wreck of a human being. Please feel free to return to your normal Sunday afternoon viewing while I go and rock slowly in the corner muttering expletives to myself.

Spring has just arrived but Winter is Coming?

Posted on March 26, 2011 by paul

Ahhh Spring and a young (ahem) man’s thoughts turn to blogging. It seems this week that winter is finally receding and the weather is taking a turn for the better. On Tuesday I went to work without a jacket and last night I purchased a short sleeved shirt. Thinking about it this will probably encourage rain. Feel free to blame me I don’t care.

As I type Mrs Cheesecake is out pottering around in the garden. (I should point out that I was helping as well but once all the heavy lifting is done I tend to become superfluous to requirements. I don’t really excel when it come to the delicate stuff.)

game of thrones

We creep ever closer to April 18th and the UK debut of Game of Thrones. I remain steadfastly optimistic but I still haven’t got around to reading the first book. I should probably do that? I am sure it would make the whole televisual experience that much more exciting. In an even worse admission – I own a copy I’ve just never opened it. I know, I know. I should be taken out back a flayed to within an inch of my existence.

tech obsessive

I just cant help myself. I get a gadget and immediately I have a desire to replace it with the next new shiny that appears on the market. I think part of the problem is that I don’t research things enough. I got a new phone eighteen months ago and thought I was onto a good deal. Turns out I was just buying into the marketing hype. It truly is a massive steaming turd of a thing. I need to learn to take a step back and then breathe before I make a fucking decision. Still only one hundred and twenty three days and then I can get the phone I actually want.

ninjas

I recently said on The Eloquent Page that any book is enhanced by the addition on zombies. (I stick to that conclusion by the way). This got me thinking about films. Is there a cinematic equivalent? After much searching I believe the answer may be YES. I firmly believe that the addition of ninjas into any film can only be a good thing. Check this out insanity out!

Ninjas–Fuck Yeah!

I have to admit that I do enjoy a film when it is distinctly cheese-laden and this looks like it may fit the bill.

5000 and counting

I reached the first major milestone in this years exercise related buffoonery. 5000 out of 20000 situps are now done. I am bang on my schedule and I think I am starting to feel the benefits of this regime. Next big target is the half way point which, all things remaining equal, I should hit around the end of June. Remember if you are that ways inclined I do have a Just Giving page, in conjunction with the ever steadfast Gibbiot, where you can show your support.

Till later peoples

stay golden

Mr C

The Tale of The Toaster

Posted on February 12, 2011 by paul

This is essentially one big old rant so if your not interested I would look away now. Mind you there is a nice bit at the beginning about loving toast but after that….

Mrs Cheesecake are I are both fans of all things toasted. Crumpets, bagels and good old fashioned bread, they all fucking rock. A Sunday morning hardly goes by without some sort of toasted bakery product being involved. Jams and spreads are also always included and it cheers my soul at the start of the day (I think you get the gist, we like toast).

Recently we noted that our current toaster was on its last legs after many faithful years of service. Time for a replacement. Mrs Cheesecake shopped around online and found one on Amazon, a shiny Morphy Richards affair that seemed to meet our stringent toast related requirements. A couple of weeks later, once we had been paid, she went to purchase the toaster only to discover that it had nearly doubled in price!!! She decided to go straight to the source and purchase from Morphy Richards online as this was a cheaper option. The toaster was duly purchased and we sat back to await its arrival.

A week later a card from a courier company was awaiting for us when we got home from work.I may be paraphrasing a bit here but the card said something along these lines – Oh hey, we called while you were out, Oh no! We’ll try again tomorrow *smiley face*.

Next day the same thing and the day after that. Mrs Cheesecake decided to give the courier a ring. After nearly an hour of searching for a customer services number and navigating the tricky automated call logging system she finally got to speak to a real human being.

The phone call went something like this

MRS CHEESECAKE: Can you deliver to my work address as it’s easier to reach me there than at home.

COURIER: Sure. Let me just check the the item. (Slight delay) No sorry we can’t.

MRS CHEESECAKE: Why?

COURIER: Morphy Richards only allow us only to deliver to the billing address. I would suggest you give them a call. Here are there details.

So, armed with this information, Mrs Cheesecake calls Morphy Richards. She explains the situation and asks for the delivery address to be changed. Morphy Richards immediately respond with a firm NO, citing the same reason the courier gave. Mrs Cheesecake then enquires to the location of the toaster.

Morphy Richards were instructing the courier (there name rhymes with PHL) to only deliver to our home address. The courier would only delivery between 9 and 5. The hours we are at chuffing work.The only option available was to collect from the depot. Turns out that’s miles away. Mrs Cheesecake was told that it would stay there for a week and then be returned to Morphy Richards and she can request a refund at that time if she requires.

What a spectacular online shopping fuck up/fail (on almost all counts). Isn’t online purchasing supposed to be easy? You know hassle free and that sort of shit? We now both feel like this.

See you later

A disheartened Cheesecake

Pablo Cheesecake

A Mid-Life Crisis Waiting to Happen…

Category Archives: Technology