The Tale of The Toaster

This is essentially one big old rant so if your not interested I would look away now. Mind you there is a nice bit at the beginning about loving toast but after that….

Mrs Cheesecake are I are both fans of all things toasted. Crumpets, bagels and good old fashioned bread, they all fucking rock. A Sunday morning hardly goes by without some sort of toasted bakery product being involved. Jams and spreads are also always included and it cheers my soul at the start of the day (I think you get the gist, we like toast).

Toast...Fuck Yeah!

Recently we noted that our current toaster was on its last legs after many faithful years of service. Time for a replacement. Mrs Cheesecake shopped around online and found one on Amazon, a shiny Morphy Richards affair that seemed to meet our stringent toast related requirements. A couple of weeks later, once we had been paid, she went to purchase the toaster only to discover that it had nearly doubled in price!!! She decided to go straight to the source and purchase from Morphy Richards online as this was a cheaper option.  The toaster was duly purchased and we sat back to await its arrival.

A week later a card from a courier company was awaiting for us when we got home from work.I may be paraphrasing a bit here but the card said something along these lines –  Oh hey, we called while you were out, Oh no! We’ll try again tomorrow *smiley face*.

Next day the same thing and the day after that. Mrs Cheesecake decided to give the courier a ring. After nearly an hour of searching for a customer services number and navigating the tricky automated call logging system she finally got to speak to a real human being.

The phone call went something like this

MRS CHEESECAKE: Can you deliver to my work address as it’s easier to reach me there than at home.

COURIER: Sure. Let me just check the the item. (Slight delay) No sorry we can’t.


COURIER: Morphy Richards only allow us only to deliver to the billing address. I would suggest you give them a call. Here are there details.

So, armed with this information, Mrs Cheesecake calls Morphy Richards. She explains the situation and asks for the delivery address to be changed. Morphy Richards immediately respond with a firm NO, citing the same reason the courier gave. Mrs Cheesecake then enquires to the location of the toaster.

Morphy Richards were instructing the courier (there name rhymes with PHL) to only deliver to our home address. The courier would only delivery between 9 and 5. The hours we are at chuffing work.The only option available was to collect from the depot. Turns out that’s miles away. Mrs Cheesecake was told that it would stay there for a week and then be returned to Morphy Richards and she can request a refund at that time if she requires.

What a spectacular online shopping fuck up/fail (on almost all counts). Isn’t online purchasing supposed to be easy? You know hassle free and that sort of shit? We now both feel like this.

Toast Sad Face

See you later

A disheartened Cheesecake

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