Tag Archives: Pirates

Pirates, Books, Running and Rocky IV

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TA-DA! Behold my Internet Catharsis*

Ok, so its possible that you are familiar with the book reviews that I post, or you’ve followed me on some sort of social media or another but perhaps you’ve never found yourself here before? This is where I come to shake what is in my head out to see what happens. This is the land of do as you please. I don’t follow any rules here, including the laws of grammar (as I’m sure some of you have already spotted). This is just a big o’ heap of stuff. If you like, well thats just luvverly. If you don’t then please ensure the door don’t hit you on the ass on the way out.

Any-who , on with this evenings show…

The Crimson Cheesecake and other Golden Oldies

Recently, in life, things have taken a distinctly piratical direction (no, I’m not going to tell you why). This culminated at the weekend with a viewing of The Crimson Pirate. I love that film. It harks back to the days when colour was GLORIOUS TECHNICOLOUR. Burt Lancaster wears stripey tights and manages to make them look manly. His acrobatic skills (from his days in the circus?) get to shine. Hell, at one point even a young Christopher Lee pops up being all evil and sinister.

The whole experience got me thinking about old films I really enjoy. I immediately bought The Medusa Touch. I think I’ll have to see if I can also source The Cassandra Crossing and Holocaust 2000.  All these films left a very distinct impression on an entirely suggestible young boy many years ago. I think it is high time I revisit them all.

That Whole Reading Thing

This year I am on course to read around one hundred books. I’ve been thinking about this and I reckon it may have been the silliest fucking thing I have ever done. I’ve always been able to read quite quickly but I feel like I’m really pushing my limits a bit. I can tell you one thing, I wont be doing it again. When reading begins to feel like a chore rather than a joy I think thats the time to stop, take stock and re-evaluate. I think 2013 will have to have a far more sedate pace. I spectacularly lucky that from time to time I get sent copies of books to review and it is always a pleasure to receive them but I have to be realistic and accept the fact that there is no way I can keep up the frantic pace. My brain is starting to bleed out my ears. The book I finished tonight had nine hundred and sixty eight pages for fucks sake.

2012 Challenge Update

420km run, 80km to go. Its all feel rather academic now. With the exception of getting hit by a bus, or stray meteorite, there is every chance that I will complete this. With that in mind my gaze turns towards 2013. What feat of lunacy will take up the next twelve months? I reckon the cycling is next on my agenda. So without any further flim-flam or shilly-shally I am glad to confirm that next year I will cycle 1000k in 12 months (What made me think this was a good idea again? I must be mental).

In a gym related aside. I had a rather wonderful moment in the gym on Monday. I was on the treadmill doing the running thing, no-one else was in the room, and this came on my iPod.


I found myself running much faster than normal with a big, dopey grin on my face. I must have looked like a prize tool but I was ridiculously happy. I think I might of been having what the young kids call ‘fun’? (Yes, it was a surprise to me as well).

Tonights blog was brought to you by the letter R and the number 3.

Adios muchachos, till next time

And remember if you can’t say anything nice…dont say anything at all shut the fuck up.

Cheesecake Out

* It’s either this or unleashing me back into the wild. You decide. I don’t care I’ll do either. 

The Passion of Pablo Cheesecake

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A super-duper, extra long, bonus edition of the regular blog because, well frankly, the last couple of days has been a bit fucking EPIC.

This weekend Mrs Cheesecake and I went to the cinema like we usually do (hell if you’ve ever read this blog before you’ll already know that). The only slight wrinkle was the third (yes you read that correct, I said ‘third’) film that we saw. More on that in a bit but first a little about films one and two.

The Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists

This was brilliant fun. Aardman have proved yet again that their approach to animation is a genuine crowd pleaser. Hugh Grant is on fine form as The Pirate Captain. He was pitch-perfect (there’s a sentence I never suspected I’d write about him). Turns out a plasticine pirate is the perfect role for Mr Grant. Martin Freeman, Brian Blessed, Imelda Staunton, Lenny Henry, Russell Tovey, Salma Hayek, Jeremy Piven,  David Tennant and Mr. Bobo all deserve a mention as well for their sterling efforts. If you have ever dreamed about having your own monkey butler (I know I have…actually thinking about it he would probably go all Planet of the Apes on my ass though so perhaps not) this is the film for you.

Yaarr….Avast behind and other dubious puns

Wrath of The Titans

The second film on Saturday afternoon was the sequel to the remake of the film that was somewhat based on the original stories of ancient Greece, Wrath of the Titans. We dutifully purchased our tickets and discovered the following.

Yes, I’m childish enough to find this funny

The film was ok I suppose. The complaints I levelled against Sam Worthington’s hair in the first film have certainly been addressed. The 3D was better than before and the ‘big fuck-off battle’ finale was pretty entertaining. I just wasn’t that interested in the build up that I had to sit through to get there.

Overall I think I probably would have preferred to have seen a film called Wrath of the Tit. Wait a second didn’t Woody Allen do that one time? Lets ask him….hey Woody…Woody!…WOODY!!!….Damn, he seems to be busy.

Wrath of the Tit – Part II*

*It really is amazing what you can find on the Internet isn’t it? Woody vs a Giant Boob…crazy times eh.

The Gospel of Us

The final film of the weekend required a bit more than our usual level of commitment. How about a 400 mile round trip for example.

Yesterday afternoon we found ourselves in Port Talbot, South Wales to attend the premiere of The Gospel of Us starring Michael Sheen and the people of the town. In a nutshell this was a reinterpretation of The Passion Play but with a modern, secular feel. The play itself took place over the three days of Easter 2011 but the director, Dave McKean has spent the last year bringing together footage to create a two hour version of the spectacle.

To be serious for a moment. If you’ve ever seen McKean’s other directorial experiment, MirrorMask, then you will appreciate the director’s iconoclastic approach to any subject he tackles. The Gospel of Us blends music, animation and footage taken on the day to create something that is an assault on the senses. This cinematic event is truly striking and a genuine spectacle to behold. If you get the chance to see this I would strongly advise you take the opportunity. There was a moment near the films climax where I felt all the hairs at the back of my neck stand up. McKean uses some clever editing techniques to bring crowd scenes to life and draw the focus toward the players as the tale unfolds. Astonishing stuff.

Prior to the screening Mrs Cheesecake was in attendance in the press pit and got to meet Mr McKean, who got a free chocolate for his time (Oh yeah, we’re willing to bribe a director. We’ll so go there). Mrs Cheesecake also got some great shots of Michael Sheen, Owen Sheers and Rachel McAdams.

For more details about the event, including photos, check out http://www.michael-sheen.co.uk. (It’s all good I know the owner of the site, I slept with her last night).

Told you it was a big old update didn’t it?

I need to go have a bit of a lie down, I’m spent.

Laters