Brains, Books and Bananas

Posted on January 18, 2013 by paul

Once again its been ages since I’ve done an update on my blog. I apologise, I often forget that the entire internet hangs on my every word. Anyway, here is some stuff about this and that. (You know, the usual guff I normally spout.)

Pablo Cheesecake versus Subconscious Sabotage

My brain and I are currently at loggerheads, at least it seems that way to me. On 15th December I found myself in Accident and Emergency at around 12.30am. I had experienced what the paramedics called ‘some sort of seizure’.

….Fortunately things weren’t quite this bad.

The worst/scariest part of the whole thing was that, from my perspective at least, I was utterly absent when this happened. I have no memory about any of this at all. Apparently I rolled out of bed, landing on my shoulder, I bit my lip and was doing the whole frothing at the mouth. I’m just incredibly lucky that Mrs C managed to keep calm (I don’t know if I could have) and got an ambulance to whisk me to hospital.

A couple of weeks have passed now and I’m glad to say report that there has been no further recurrence. I feel 100% ok. I’ve visited the local hospital and the likely prognosis is some sort of epileptic fit. There are going to be more tests but I suspect I will probably end up on meds to manage this.

Oh yes, there will be tests.

If anything, this whole incident has made me re-evaluate a lot of things. Which brings me nicely onto my next topic of wittering.

The Eloquent Page

Last year was a pretty damn successful year for the old book blog. Over one hundred reviews, three conventions, and I got the chance to read some of the best fiction around. That can’t ever be a bad thing can it? Well, what I did come to realise is that it was taking up just a bit too much of my time. Don’t get me wrong, I love to read (I frickin adore it), but I just couldn’t keep up that pace. Two books a week was cutting into the rest of my life way too much. I could have asked MadNad for more assistance but she already helps out whenever she can and she currently runs a couple of her own websites so. I couldn’t really expect her to give up her own projects.

The delicate balancing act continues

So since January 1st I’ve cut down to just one review a week and I think this is working out much better. I can take more time over each book but still get to spend time doing something that I love. Perhaps I’ve finally figured out a balance that works for me? Time will tell.

It’s Not All Doom and Gloom

Oh dear, this post seems to have taken a slightly downbeat turn doesn’t it? Can’t be having that. I’m all about the upbeat and spangly after all. In an effort to combat this existential funk lets finish on a high shall we. Look here’s a picture of a nude banana.

Gratuitous Fruit Nudity!

Till next time. (No, I don’t know when that will be either).

Be good

Pirates, Books, Running and Rocky IV

Posted on October 23, 2012 by paul

TA-DA! Behold my Internet Catharsis*

Ok, so its possible that you are familiar with the book reviews that I post, or you’ve followed me on some sort of social media or another but perhaps you’ve never found yourself here before? This is where I come to shake what is in my head out to see what happens. This is the land of do as you please. I don’t follow any rules here, including the laws of grammar (as I’m sure some of you have already spotted). This is just a big o’ heap of stuff. If you like, well thats just luvverly. If you don’t then please ensure the door don’t hit you on the ass on the way out.

Any-who , on with this evenings show…

The Crimson Cheesecake and other Golden Oldies

Recently, in life, things have taken a distinctly piratical direction (no, I’m not going to tell you why). This culminated at the weekend with a viewing of The Crimson Pirate. I love that film. It harks back to the days when colour was GLORIOUS TECHNICOLOUR. Burt Lancaster wears stripey tights and manages to make them look manly. His acrobatic skills (from his days in the circus?) get to shine. Hell, at one point even a young Christopher Lee pops up being all evil and sinister.

The whole experience got me thinking about old films I really enjoy. I immediately bought The Medusa Touch. I think I’ll have to see if I can also source The Cassandra Crossing and Holocaust 2000. All these films left a very distinct impression on an entirely suggestible young boy many years ago. I think it is high time I revisit them all.

That Whole Reading Thing

This year I am on course to read around one hundred books. I’ve been thinking about this and I reckon it may have been the silliest fucking thing I have ever done. I’ve always been able to read quite quickly but I feel like I’m really pushing my limits a bit. I can tell you one thing, I wont be doing it again. When reading begins to feel like a chore rather than a joy I think thats the time to stop, take stock and re-evaluate. I think 2013 will have to have a far more sedate pace. I spectacularly lucky that from time to time I get sent copies of books to review and it is always a pleasure to receive them but I have to be realistic and accept the fact that there is no way I can keep up the frantic pace. My brain is starting to bleed out my ears. The book I finished tonight had nine hundred and sixty eight pages for fucks sake.

2012 Challenge Update

420km run, 80km to go. Its all feel rather academic now. With the exception of getting hit by a bus, or stray meteorite, there is every chance that I will complete this. With that in mind my gaze turns towards 2013. What feat of lunacy will take up the next twelve months? I reckon the cycling is next on my agenda. So without any further flim-flam or shilly-shally I am glad to confirm that next year I will cycle 1000k in 12 months (What made me think this was a good idea again? I must be mental).

In a gym related aside. I had a rather wonderful moment in the gym on Monday. I was on the treadmill doing the running thing, no-one else was in the room, and this came on my iPod.

I found myself running much faster than normal with a big, dopey grin on my face. I must have looked like a prize tool but I was ridiculously happy. I think I might of been having what the young kids call ‘fun’? (Yes, it was a surprise to me as well).

Tonights blog was brought to you by the letter R and the number 3.

Adios muchachos, till next time

And remember if you can’t say anything nice…dont say anything at all shut the fuck up.

Cheesecake Out

* It’s either this or unleashing me back into the wild. You decide. I don’t care I’ll do either.

High Time for an Update

Posted on March 31, 2012 by paul

Once again over a month has hurtled by and I have not managed to post even the most rudimentary of blog posts. I really don’t know where the time disappears to. I think I have to make a bit more of an effort (we’ve all heard that one before haven’t we. didn’t stick to it last time so unlikely I’ll stick to it again but fuck it I’ll give it a try.)

The Running Man

First some good news. I am now well over the first 100K of my epic 500K for 2012 (I’m at 130K fact fans). A few thoughts have struck now that I have established a bit of a rhythm to the challenge.

Running on a treadmill can get a little boring. I am starting to picture myself as a giant 6ft 2 hamster. That probably isn’t a good thing unless I was a furry (I’m not). I’ve wondered about asking the gym to provide some sort of incentive to liven things up. Perhaps releasing a wildcat into the room? That would certainly make things more exciting wouldn’t it?
Thought I know the exercise is doing me good my there are moments when my body seems to disagree. Various aches and pains are starting to make themselves known on a regular basis. The most peculiar injury so far is a strain to the middle finger of my left hand. Don’t know how I managed it and the bloody thing just won’t go away.
Ultimately I suppose that it’s all good. No pain, no gain and all that. Since the start of this epic journey I’ve gone from 17st 8lbs to 15st 4lbs. This brings my total weight loss overall since I started to 32lbs. Hopefully this time I’ll keep it all off!

Techno-Envy

My arch-nemesis came back to haunt me with a vengeance over the last couple of weeks. The 21st century green eyed monster I have labelled ‘techno-envy‘ has reared its ugly head again. First the new iPads were unleashed (I know, I know. I don’t need one. Doesn’t mean I don’t want one though) and then I made the mistake of switching on my old laptop. Compared to Mrs Cheesecake’s new beast of a desktop my laptop is, frankly, a bit shite. I’ve since found myself here regularly drooling at all the fine bits of kit that are on offer. I foresee a purchase on the horizon.

The Social Media Brick Wall

I think that I have reached an impasse when it comes to all the social media that I currently inhabit. Hmmm, how best to explain? You would think that using Twitter/FB/Blogger et al for years now that I would be getting more confident and better at navigating through the technological molasses that is the internet? No, not at all. In fact, if anything, I am getting worse. I’ve done a terrible job of promoting my review site and seem to fail regularly at connecting online with other like minded peoples. Due to this my apathy towards all forms of social media seems to be growing exponentially. I get frustrated and annoyed far too quickly. (I should stress here that my anger and frustation are almost entirely directed at myself).

Perhaps some sort of self imposed exile may be in order just so I can come back to this arena at a later date with a more positive attitude to it all. I just don’t know the best way out of this techno-funk? The solution to my current malaise may require more brain power than I previously thought.

The Con is On!

I am however somewhat hopeful that my overcast mood will soon lift. Why? Well, Alt.Fiction is very nearly upon us. I was fortunate enough to attend last year and I had a rather good time. This year the event takes place in Leicester . Never been there before so it’ll be interested to check out somewhere new.

My one resolution for this year is the same as it always is – try and be a bit less shy. You might not realise this to look at me but inside I’m just a huge, uncoordinated, awkward bag of nerves when around people I’m slightly in awe of. For clarification I am in awe of anyone who is more creative than I am (so that’s effectively the entire population of the planet).

Anyway, if you happen to be there and you see a slightly bemused looking Scotsman with bright red hair please do say hello. I will certainly try and respond. Perhaps even using something that resembles a human language? Your guess is as good as mine.

Right I’ve had enough of the writing malarkey for now. I’ll leave with a bit of abstract art that Mrs Cheesecake and I crafted while out shopping last night. It’s a reflective piece that offers insight into the rampant consumerism that plagues our planet….

Rude words, run away!

…or it may just be childish, fucking about.

TTFN

Pablo Cheesecake vs That There London

Posted on November 6, 2011 by paul

It’s not very often that Mrs Cheesecake and I get the opportunity to head of to the big city but yesterday we had a perfect excuse. Mrs Cheesecake is a rather huge fan of Michael Sheen (don’t believe me? check out www.michael-sheen.co.uk, all her own work don’t cha know). Anywho, we had scored some tickets to go and see Himself (that’s what he is known as in our house) as Hamlet at The Young Vic.

As the show wasn’t on until 7pm we decided we would check out a bit of the city we hadn’t experienced before. I should state for the record I was also jonesin for a Starbucks Eggnog latte and figured I could cater for coffee habit along the way.

So prior to the show – Borough Market. Awww man this place is food porn of the highest order. Every direction you turn there are loads and loads of specialist vendors hawking their wares. It is a blissful assault on the senses. Within the first 100ft we had walked past someone making grilled garlic king prawns, someone else selling hot mulled wine and another selling pates, relishes and many varieties of salami. Best part, without a doubt, LOADS of free samples. I just didn’t know where to start.

Eventually, after much umming and ahhing, we ended up joining a queue for a stall called Roast to Go. The queue was pretty long but I took this to be a good sign, turns out it was totally worth it. I got a salt beef, mustard and pickle sandwich while Mrs Cheesecake had turkey and cranberry. It may have been the best sandwich I have ever eaten (and I really do mean EVER!)

More wandering about and I got to try some splendid cheese, an exceptional terrine and a great wild mustard relish. I think that if we had the time, the cash and the inclination we could have spent the entire day at there.

The evening found us at The Young Vic and we had pretty epic fucking seats, 4th row ain’t at all shabby. We’ve seen a good modern take of Hamlet before, starring the Tenth Doctor and Jean-Luc Picard, but this interpretation was a different class. The performances were all mesmerising but Sheen was exceptional. Nothing better than a bit of live theatre.

I reckon that’ll do for now. Much as I enjoyed visting that there London. It is nice to be back in our little house, fussing the cat on the sofa. I have some serious mooching about scheduled so best be off to do it.

Laters Taters

Ohh by the way, before I forget, after such a hectic day it may not be a massive surprise to discover that I completely forgot about, and didn’t manage to get, the coffee I was hoping for. Perhaps next week.

A Week of Cheesecake

Posted on October 22, 2011 by paul

This week a bring you a random assortment of the stuff that has happened in our house

The Seven Day Sandwich

Mrs Cheesecake and I enjoy watching Man vs Food. I you haven’t ever seen it I strongly advise you check it out, it fucking rocks. Anyway it got us to thinking about all the strange a delicious looking foods that our American cousins have access. How easy would it be to replicate this sort of culinary adventure in the UK? We decided we would give it a go. We set our sights on creating a Reubens. The primary ingredient is salt beef. Just to make things interesting we thought we would have bash a preparing our own salt beef. Turns out this takes the minimum of seven days. The beef has to be soaked in water that contains various herbs. Was it successful? We will find out tomorrow. I am hoping for something along these lines.

Paging Dr Cheesecake

A few months ago I entered a competition to appear in a book by the publisher Abaddon. Bugger me if I didn’t go ahead and win. The prize was to have an academic named in one of the appendices in the novel Savage Knight by Paul Lewis. I decided the nominate Mrs Cheesecake instead and today the book arrived. I had a rummage and low in behold on page 279 the following….

This may be the coolest fucking thing ever. I’m sort of jealous I gave the prize away now. She’ll be in print forever. Immortality achieved at last.

2011 Challenge Update

We are well and truly in the final stretch. After nearly 10 months I have managed over 16000 sit ups. Less than 4000 to go. Happy days. Actually that is not entirely accurate. I have to think of what I am going to do in 2012. I’ve done the huge cycle trek (500km in 2010) so I am looking for suggestions for next year. No not chin ups I am to tall for that. Perhaps I should come up with some sort of weight training program? I’m sure I can come with something. Hey you never know one day I may not be fat anymore. Stranger things have happened. Admittedly I’m unsure what these stranger things are but you get the gist.

Ohh before I forget, if you feel the urge you can still donate to my just giving page. Well I say mine. It is one that I share with my amigo @Seabrie. Together we are Two Fat Men. Impressive non?

Sunday Night Whimsy

I am a creature of habit. After a long hard week I enjoy putting my feet up and giving my self over to the Lords of Whimsy. What, you may ask, is this? I have this theory that someone, somewhere invented a rule that every Sunday night there has to be a lavish looking TV show on. Disagree? I submit the following as evidence. Hamish Macbeth, Monarch of the Glen, Lark Rise to Candleford (known as Lark Rise to Bumble Fuck in our house – I don’t know why either), Spooks, Downton Abbey. Now don’t get me wrong. These shows ain’t Shakespeare but but sure as hell are entertaining.

Oh well enough of this jibber jabber

Stuff to do

Laters Taters,Adios

Mr C

UPDATE

Just realised this my 150th post. Can’t let this go by without a Fuck Yeah! I can also pretty much guarantee that there will be 150 more. I mean where the hell else am I going to waxy lyrical.

Saturday was brought to you by….

Posted on May 28, 2011 by paul

Pablo Cheesecake Vs Captain jack

I saw On Stranger Tides today. It was…..hmmm……alright. It didn’t set my world alight but it was also by no means terrible. Mr Depp is consistently watchable but the film left me feeling a little underwhelmed. The set pieces were all enjoyable – the chase in London and the mermaid capture – but overall I was a bit meh about it all. I guess it suffers a bit from the law of diminishing returns. That said I do still want to be a pirate though.

The bookshop Beckons

After the cinema we wandered down to our local Waterstones. I purchased Anno Dracula by Kim Newman, Horns by Joe Hill and some George R R Martin for Mrs Cheesecake. The store still has it’s ‘lovely’ Erotica section next to the Sci-Fi and Fantasy. I have to admit I was I little intrigued by this…

I’ve checked and it has a five star review on Amazon you know. Also it has nothing to do with a sport called Ultimate Spanking – Just in case you thought it did.

Yet More Shops

After the visit to the bookshop/Spank-o-torium™ we had some lunch. Ostrich was on the menu and I have to say I was quite impressed. I admit I always expect something that resembles giant chicken and not lean beef. Any way lets just say it was tasty and leave it at that.

To round off our trip to town a swift visit to the sweetshop. Mrs Cheesecake had a hankering for a Sherbert Dib-Dab – who can blame her? I got a packet of Refreshers which I am going to go and munch right now.

Cheerio

Why isn’t it Friday?

Posted on March 3, 2011 by paul

Its been a while since I gave my brain a shake to see what would fall out. Not that I need a reason or anything but seeing as it’s a Thursday and Mrs Cheesecake is involved in some hardcore gaming activity I thought I would type some of the letter keys on my keyboard and see where I ended up.

Politics…Fuck Yeah!

I got a letter today from a Mr Ed Milliband. Apperently he thinks we are friends. He wants to have a chat. I have been musing about my response for a couple of hours and I have come to the conclusion I would rather have my knackers trapped in a vice and hit repeatedly with a cricket bat. After the spectacular horror that was the last General Election I think politics and I need time away from one another. We’ll still talk and try remaining civil, if only for the children’s sake, but for the most part we need to go our separate ways.

Book Overload

This week for reasons I still don’t fully understand I decided to read four books rather than the usual two. I won’t be attempting that again in a hurry. My brain was completely frazzled by the end of the fourth book. All my free time was taken up with reading. I think I’ll chock this one up as an experiment. I have learned my limits if nothing else.

Hmm tonight’s effort short but sweet.

Night all

Judging a book by it’s cover

Posted on May 17, 2010 by paul

One of my greatest pleasures in life is getting lost in a good book. I read a lot and enjoy seeking out my next purchase almost as much as the reading itself. Last weekend I shuffled off into town and found myself in my local bookshop with a crisp tenner burning a hole in my pocket.

At this point I’ll pause briefly to explain one thing. I am a creature of habit and tend to stick with authors I know and trust. If I read a title from an author and enjoy it then they can be pretty much guaranteed my continued support for life, what can I say I am nothing if not loyal.

I do, however, occasionally like to dabble in the unknown territory of a NEW AUTHOR – please note when I say new author they could have been around for donkey’s years it’s just that I’ve never read any of their work. I guess I mean a new author to me. (Just so you know.)

After much rummaging and lots of uumms and aahhs I ended up picking up The Age of Zeus by James Lovegrove. Why? Check out the cover below and the answer becomes clear.

It’s got fucking Anthony Hopkins on it! With added lighting coming out his chuffing head. How cool is that? If that’s not enough we have some military types and a helicopter flying near a mountain. Also a review of the author on the back by someone called Saxon Bullock. Saxon Bullock FFS what an absolutely epic name. Cha-ching I’m sold. (On a side note I can’t believe I just wrote cha-ching in a blog. I feel like I’ve just jumped the blogging shark)

I had never realised before how much sway an interesting cover has on my book buying, When I buy anything from an unproven author the cover has got to grab hold of my brain. Here’s another perfect example.

How could you not want to read this. I just oozes mysteriousity. Loving the art deco retro 1920/30s feel and it’s just a little bit creepy. I am so buying this.

Now some of you may consider my new book buying policy a trifle devil may care and I suppose your right. It is entirely possible instead of ending up with an exciting new author to enjoy I purchase something incredibly shit just because I was taken in by the shiny promise of the cover. Well so far so good. I’ll live with the risk. It’s a chance I’m just gonna have to take. That’s the kind of extreme bibliophile I am!

Now ssssshhhhhh! I’m reading

Mr Cheesecake

Pablo Cheesecake

A Mid-Life Crisis Waiting to Happen…

Tag Archives: Books