sunday

I’ve never been to a red carpet event before so wasn’t sure what to expect when  Mrs Cheesecake and I headed to the Theatre Royal for 8 am. Mrs Cheesecake had very diligently checked out the BAFTA website and was aware that we had to go an collect wristbands before we would be allowed entry to the event.

When we arrived there was already as sizable queue but everyone was in high spirits even though it was raining. We queued for around 45 minutes and eventually found ourselves at the front where we were given our wristbands by some nice security guards. They explained that we were not going to get access to the red carpet site until at least 1.30pm.

Suddenly we had hours to kill and the weather by this point was fucking terrible. After some looking around we found ourselves having breakfast in Tuttons. I cannot recommend this restaurant highly enough. I’m not sure if it was because they took pity on two drowned rats but their breakfast is sublime. The service was splendid and it turns out there is nothing better than a full English to the strains of Vivaldi for restoring one’s equilibrium.

The rest of the waiting time passed quickly as we wandered around Covent Garden and enjoyed a bit of cafe society. Mrs Cheesecake even spotted Richard E. Grant.

Back to the queue and eventually we managed to make it to the red carpet area. Again more waiting but it was good to watch all the comings and goings.

Enough of preliminaries lets get to the event itself. Between us Mrs Cheesecake and I got some ace shots and we saw a veritable cornucopia of stars.

Deep Breath…..here we go…we saw…..

Sharto Copley, Christoph Waltz, Matt Dillon, Noel Clarke, Oliva Williams, Jeremy Renner, Peter Capaldi, Vanessa Redgrave, Joely Richardson, Jason Issacs, Sam Taylor Wood, Aaron Johnson, Nicholas Hoult, Armando Iannucci, Tahir Rahim, Jane Goldman, Terry Gilliam, David Baddiel, Anil Kapoor, Claudia Winkleman, Colin Firth, Ann Marie Duff, Andy Serkis, David Morrisey, Nick Frost, Jonathan Ross, McKenzie Crook, Mark Kermode, James Corden, Kate Winslet, James Cameron, Prince William (yup royalty), Mickey Rourke, Robert Pattison, Quentin Tarintino, Clare Danes.

There were others as well but I honestly can’t remember them all. We got some top photos as well.

Here is one of Sharto Copley

and what does he write on an autograph?

If you can’t make it out it says YOU FOOKIN PRAWN! Class.

One conclusion I did come to is that Joely Richardson and Kate Winslet may not be human. I don’t mean that in a nasty way. Quite the reverse in fact. They are both absolutely flawless. Pictures do not do them just SERIOUSLY. Mrs Cheesecake felt the same way about Jonathan Rhys Myers. In other interesting news Clive Owen is really surprisingly short. Again don’t mean that in a nasty way just expected him to be taller.

Disappointment of the night. No Jeff Bridges or Michael Sheen. Well I don’t suppose we can have everything can we.

Ass Monkeys of the evening – All of the professional autograph hunters. They were all rude as fuck and kept making me angry. These are the cock javelins that get autographs just so they can sell then on for profit. Fucking ring pieces the lot of them. I think some of the stars were avoiding our area because of these assholes.

Oddly we ended up with one of the official umbrella like the one you can see in the Joely Richardson pic. Weird but true.

It was most definitely an experience.

No longer on the Red Carpet.
Pablo Cheesecake