Author Archives: paul

Many Cheesecake Returns

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A short birthday update. Today’s question  – What do you get the man who has everything?

  • Tickets to see the musical version of War of the Worlds (I am just a little obsessed by this album and even though the event isn’t until December I’m already beyond excited).
  • A nice leather cover for my Kindle
  • A sticker (This will be used in conjunction with the Kindle cover, see below. I’m sure the literary among you can figure out where I am going with this)
  • Groo The Adventurer by Sergio Aragones and Mark Evanier
  • I got some cash as well so there will likely be a few books this weekend.

Not bad for an old man. Truly I am a lucky Cheesecake

Maths, Movies, Monsters & Muscles

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Pablo Cheesecake vs Mental Arithmetic

This week got off to an odd start. I discovered that my mental arithmetic is not only piss poor it is in fact SPECTACULARLY piss poor. As I have mentioned countless times before I have been on a diet and exercising for nearly a year. I have attempted, and I stress the word attempted here, to keep track of my weight loss. Some how (and I am still not sure how) I managed to utterly bugger that up. For some reason I thought I had nearly lost 3 stone (42lbs my American chooms). This week I finally realised I had actually lost over 4 stone (57 lbs) Don’t get me wrong I’m over the moon about it but you have to admit that is a bit of a fuck up isn’t it?

The Dark Cheesecake Rises

We saw The Dark Knight Rises today. I reckon it rounded of the trilogy quite nicely. Bane’s voice was undoubtedly very silly but everything else was pretty cool. My personal highlight? It’s a toss up between Joseph Gordon Levitt’s character and Anne Hathaway’s bottom.

Also saw the trailer for Dredd on the big screen for the first time.  Karl Urban does some outstanding chin work. I was impressed.

Cake, Cake, Cakeity, Cake

Mrs Cheesecake has once again outdone herself in the kitchen department. This is the cake she made for my and my nephew’s joint birthday party tomorrow*

Monster, Monster, Monster!

* Technically my birthday isn’t until Tuesday but we’re celebrating early.

Third Time to Charm?

Mrs Cheesecake has suggested we go to the gym 3 times a week rather than the normal 2. She must have caught me in a moment of madness because I surprised myself and immediately agreed. This week coming – Monday, Wednesday and Friday we are gyming it. So if I don’t update next weekend you’ll know what finally killed me. Captain Scarlett has electricity, Superman has Kryptonite, Pablo Cheesecake’s one vulnerability – the gym.

Nighty night Internets, I loves ya.

Tomorrow there will be cake

The Dark Cheesecake

My 1st Proper Update ( and about chuffing time too)

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Welcome one and all to the shiny new WordPress flavour of my Mid Life Crisis. As of today my Blogger blog is on ice and I’ll be doing all my updates here only. I am going to endeavour to update more regularly than before but in all honesty how long that lasts is anyone’s guess.

So without further ado. My latest nonsense.

The Amazing SpiderCheesecake

I saw The Amazing Spiderman yesterday and I have to admit I was pretty impressed. Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone share a great on-screen chemistry. There were lots of nice little awkward moments between the two that made their burgeoning relationship feel very real. Speaking of awkwardness Garfield does a outstanding job playing the king of  geeky teenagers, Peter Parker. Even when he becomes Spiderman he didn’t entirely lose that sense of uncoordination it was always there lurking in the background. Mrs Cheesecake was impressed with the movement that the new Spiderman was exhibiting. Using a style heavily influenced by parkour it seemed more natural than the previous movies.

Unsurprisingly Martin Sheen and Sally Field were pitch perfect as Uncle Ben and Aunt May. Sheen is utterly convincing and Field brought a nice modern take to a character that has deserved an update for years.

Eagle-eye views will no doubt notice some small nods to the larger Spiderman universe. I really hope that they expand upon these glimpses next time out. Admittedly it is going to be bloody difficult to top J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson. (c‘mon he was fucking splendid, admit it).

I was a little dubious when I heard they were rebooting this franchise, it all seemed a little unnecessary, but now that I’ve seen the results I’m happy to say I have been convinced otherwise. Marc Webb, the director, has shied away from overtly comic conventions and I think works all the better for it. This film falls somewhere in middle ground between the more realistic approach of The Dark Knight and the outrageous spectacle of The Avengers. I heard the other day that Sony are committing to a trilogy with this new cast. Good news. Perhaps we’ll finally see a cinematic interpretation of Electro or Kraven the Hunter?

So Close I Can Smell It

Last July I realised that my dietary habits were, frankly, fucking shocking. I was waddling about at 17st 8lbs (that’s 246lbs American chums) and giving Mrs Cheesecake endless sleepless nights due to may incessant snoring. Now nearly a year to the day  later I am 14st 6lbs (202lbs) and, I’ll be honest, I haven’t felt this good in a long while. As regular readers are aware I’ve been going to the gym regularly for the last six months. That and a healthier diet are starting to pay off. Just 3 more pounds and I’ll be under 200. Its been years and years since I have been that light. (I best keep an eye on things I don’t want to blow away in a strong gust of wind).

Once I hit may target (I’m aiming to drop another 12lbs at least) that’s when things are going to get really tricky.  I’ll need to try to find that elusive balance that will allow me to maintain a healthy lifestyle without falling off the wagon. I don’t ever want to go back to the way I was before. Enjoying my sessions in the gym should help with that. I guess I am going to have to remain ever vigilant.

Ohh and according the Mrs Cheesecake my snoring is a lot quieter than it was before as well.

EdgeLit

This coming weekend I’m going to be in Derby for EdgeLit. Looking forward to it. Every convention I go to is an experience in itself. What makes a con for me? It’s the people that you meet. Though I am naturally quite shy once I get chatting and I come out my shell a bit there is really no stopping me. So if your going to be there and spot a tall, hirsute looking man with bright red hair feel free to engage him in conversation. There is every possibility it may even be me. (I appreciate that I do look a little bit like the bastard son of a Crimewatch photofit and an escaped grizzly bear but honestly I’m harmless and will be happy to natter to anyone).

Thats all for now friends

Till next time, stay golden

The Amazing SpiderCheesecake

Big Fuck-Off Sharks (Not So Big Fuck-Off Cheesecake)

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We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Cinema

Mrs Cheesecake and I managed to catch the cinema re-release of Jaws today. I find it hard to believe that the film is almost the same age as me, it has certainly aged far better than I. Fashions and tech have all moved on in that time  but those minor qualms aside this movie really has stood the test of time.  (OK I’m willing to concede that Bruce, in some scenes, does look like a ropey big old rubber shark that he is but hey it was made way back in 1975.)

Scheider, Dreyfuss and, my personal favourite, Shaw are all fantastic. Quint really is a mad fucker isn’t he?*

Captain Insane-o Quint (pictured yesterday)

* And the correct answer to that question is clearly a HUGE – Fuck Yeah!

What surprised me most was all the little things I had forgotten (never noticed?) since the last time I watched the film in its entirety. There is one moment where a couple of meteors shot across the sky just as dawn is breaking over the ocean. Never spotted that before, really nice touch.

I really don’t think there is anyway to improve in the perfection of this film…..or is there? I wonder…

Swim damn you, SWIM!….Oops too late, that T-Rex is screwed!

Interestingly there was also a trailer for the re-release of Chariots of Fire, I guess to tie in with the forthcoming Olympics? Mrs Cheesecake has never seen the film so perhaps we’ll check that out when it arrives. The Vangelis soundtrack still sounds suitably epic by the way.

In the most tenuous of ways Chariots of Fire links to my next thought…

Pablo Cheesecake vs. Pablo Cheesecake

My most difficult of challenges continues as my battle against the bulge rolls ever onward. 3stone (42lbs) so far! Recently though I have to admit that I don’t seem to have lost much weight. (I will keep trying though). That said I think I may be a bit more toned than I was before. Running is getting easier and I am starting to quite enjoy it. I’ve started weight training again, albeit slowly. Haven’t done that seriously since before the whole broken back fiasco thingee.  I’m sure I’ll get there eventually as I have significantly managed to change my diet (out with the crap, in with the tasteless). I just wish I was closer to my target now.

Impatient much? Just need to be a bit more zen about it all I suppose.

I think that’s all I’ve got for tonight. Random as ever.

Later Internet

Sleep well

Cheesecake Assemble!

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Welcome, Wilkommen & Bienvenue

It is entirely possible that you are a new follower of mine on one of the various social media networks that I inhabit. If that’s true then it is also possible that you’re only familiar with The Eloquent Page and not the roaming free form consciousness that is my Mid Life Crisis. Let me quickly explain. This is my personal blog for all stuff that isn’t about books. Here I waffle about anything that takes my fancy. Things often get random and frequently degenerate into mindless rants. There are no rules, regular spelling mistakes are guaranteed (or you’re money back) and you can also expect the grossest of crimes against the evil gods of punctuation.

Still there?

Oh good. Lets see what has taken my fancy this week.

It’s (NOT) The End of The World as We Know It

Typical isn’t it. You get yourself all psyched up for the big one and then some archaeological snot comes along at says ‘Nope, we were wrong all this time. The Mayan calendar will actually run for another 7000 years and the world isn’t going to end this December 21st after all’. How disappointing is that? I’ve been stockpiling Pot Noodles and Ruffle Bars for months (I lied about the Ruffle Bars. Do they even make these anymore? I may start to stockpile them just for the hell of it. I bet they aren’t as good as when I was a kid * starts to mutter about all this once being fields, jumpers for goalposts etc, etc*).

ney back) and you can also expect the grossest of crimes against the evil gods of punctuation.

Ruffle Bars. Fuck Yeah!

Back to my point (I’m sure I had one). Ahh yes, overall I am what you would call a trifle disappointed. I was looking forward to something involving mutants and perhaps a nice Mad Max 2 style motif.

Oh well only just over seven thousand years to wait. I’ll see you there?

My First Multiple Joygasm

Yesterday Mrs C and I finally managed to catch a screening of The Avengers. For various reasons we have had to wait for two weeks since it came out. What can I say? Essentially I sat for the entire length of the film with a big dumb goofy grin on my face. It was wonderful. So much so that I had another one of my epiphanies that goes something like this.

I’m working on the assumption that most, if not all of you, have at one time or another had an orgasm (fucking great aren’t they? can’t recommend them enough. If you haven’t had one you really should get around to getting yourself one. They are awfully good. I digress.) In a similar vein there is what I like to call ‘the joygasm’. Now the joygasm is basically that brilliant moment when you are indulging in some activity you love (this can be anything as long as it is not sex) and you experience a moment of sheer unadulterated joy. For me it happens most often to me when I watch films. Here’s a quick list of examples that always ensure I achieve a joygasm

•    The moment Jonh Williams score for Superman begins

•    Lewis Collins running down the hallway at the end of Who Dares Wins

•    The faux happy ending and then the real ending of Brazil (I should note joygasms don’t always have to come from an upbeat cinematic moment).

•    The line “You killed my father. Prepare to die” from The Princess Bride

•    Rowdy Roddy Piper in They Live.

So in a nutshell what I am saying is that each and everyone one of these things always makes me spectacularly happy. I won’t bore you with the reasons why just believe me when I say that they do.

Avengers was chock full of these perfect little moments. *BEWARE MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD*

•    The Helicarrier

•    Hulk and Thor duking it out

•    Agent Coulson saying goodbye

•    The final battle

•    The after credits scene

•    Loki and The Hulk play rag doll


Avengers Casual Friday

I could so easily go on and on but I’ll attempt to manfully rein my enthusiasm in. Suffice to say, this is, with out a doubt, the biggest spectacle of the year so far. I am in awe. More, I demand it now, immediately if not sooner. Hence the title of this little section of the post My First Multiple Joygasm. I beat you thought this bit was going to be all filthy didn’t you? You perv.

That, There Training Malarkey

I had my first proper blip in my attempt to run 500k in 2012. Last week I over did it when weight training and managed to pull the muscles in my left arm. I ended up having to walk 5k and the gym for the next session as I couldn’t run. I was really annoyed at myself for such a simple mistake. I should have worked up to lifting heavier weights but instead I just over did it and paid the consequences. Lesson learned the hard way. I am glad to say that my arm is just about back to normal. Now if I can just get rid of this spectacular cold I have I should be ready to begin again, sensibly, on Tuesday. Here’s hoping.

Right enough of the random spouting. I’m off to save the world from itself. Until next time be excellent to each other and party on dudes! (Oh yeah, I’m kickin it old school).

Mr C

The Passion of Pablo Cheesecake

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A super-duper, extra long, bonus edition of the regular blog because, well frankly, the last couple of days has been a bit fucking EPIC.

This weekend Mrs Cheesecake and I went to the cinema like we usually do (hell if you’ve ever read this blog before you’ll already know that). The only slight wrinkle was the third (yes you read that correct, I said ‘third’) film that we saw. More on that in a bit but first a little about films one and two.

The Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists

This was brilliant fun. Aardman have proved yet again that their approach to animation is a genuine crowd pleaser. Hugh Grant is on fine form as The Pirate Captain. He was pitch-perfect (there’s a sentence I never suspected I’d write about him). Turns out a plasticine pirate is the perfect role for Mr Grant. Martin Freeman, Brian Blessed, Imelda Staunton, Lenny Henry, Russell Tovey, Salma Hayek, Jeremy Piven,  David Tennant and Mr. Bobo all deserve a mention as well for their sterling efforts. If you have ever dreamed about having your own monkey butler (I know I have…actually thinking about it he would probably go all Planet of the Apes on my ass though so perhaps not) this is the film for you.

Yaarr….Avast behind and other dubious puns

Wrath of The Titans

The second film on Saturday afternoon was the sequel to the remake of the film that was somewhat based on the original stories of ancient Greece, Wrath of the Titans. We dutifully purchased our tickets and discovered the following.

Yes, I’m childish enough to find this funny

The film was ok I suppose. The complaints I levelled against Sam Worthington’s hair in the first film have certainly been addressed. The 3D was better than before and the ‘big fuck-off battle’ finale was pretty entertaining. I just wasn’t that interested in the build up that I had to sit through to get there.

Overall I think I probably would have preferred to have seen a film called Wrath of the Tit. Wait a second didn’t Woody Allen do that one time? Lets ask him….hey Woody…Woody!…WOODY!!!….Damn, he seems to be busy.

Wrath of the Tit – Part II*

*It really is amazing what you can find on the Internet isn’t it? Woody vs a Giant Boob…crazy times eh.

The Gospel of Us

The final film of the weekend required a bit more than our usual level of commitment. How about a 400 mile round trip for example.

Yesterday afternoon we found ourselves in Port Talbot, South Wales to attend the premiere of The Gospel of Us starring Michael Sheen and the people of the town. In a nutshell this was a reinterpretation of The Passion Play but with a modern, secular feel. The play itself took place over the three days of Easter 2011 but the director, Dave McKean has spent the last year bringing together footage to create a two hour version of the spectacle.

To be serious for a moment. If you’ve ever seen McKean’s other directorial experiment, MirrorMask, then you will appreciate the director’s iconoclastic approach to any subject he tackles. The Gospel of Us blends music, animation and footage taken on the day to create something that is an assault on the senses. This cinematic event is truly striking and a genuine spectacle to behold. If you get the chance to see this I would strongly advise you take the opportunity. There was a moment near the films climax where I felt all the hairs at the back of my neck stand up. McKean uses some clever editing techniques to bring crowd scenes to life and draw the focus toward the players as the tale unfolds. Astonishing stuff.

Prior to the screening Mrs Cheesecake was in attendance in the press pit and got to meet Mr McKean, who got a free chocolate for his time (Oh yeah, we’re willing to bribe a director. We’ll so go there). Mrs Cheesecake also got some great shots of Michael Sheen, Owen Sheers and Rachel McAdams.

For more details about the event, including photos, check out http://www.michael-sheen.co.uk. (It’s all good I know the owner of the site, I slept with her last night).

Told you it was a big old update didn’t it?

I need to go have a bit of a lie down, I’m spent.

Laters

High Time for an Update

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Once again over a month has hurtled by and I have not managed to post even the most rudimentary of blog posts. I really don’t know where the time disappears to. I think I have to make a bit more of an effort (we’ve all heard that one before haven’t we. didn’t stick to it last time so unlikely I’ll stick to it again but fuck it I’ll give it a try.)

The Running Man

First some good news. I am now well over the first 100K of my epic 500K for 2012 (I’m at 130K fact fans). A few thoughts have struck now that I have established a bit of a rhythm to the challenge.

  1. Running on a treadmill can get a little boring. I am starting to picture myself as a giant 6ft 2 hamster. That probably isn’t a good thing unless I was a furry (I’m not). I’ve wondered about asking the gym to provide some sort of incentive to liven things up. Perhaps releasing a wildcat into the room? That would certainly make things more exciting wouldn’t it?
  2. Thought I know the exercise is doing me good my there are moments when my body seems to disagree. Various aches and pains are starting to make themselves known on a regular basis. The most peculiar injury so far is a strain to the middle finger of my left hand. Don’t know how I managed it and the bloody thing just won’t go away.
  3.  Ultimately I suppose that it’s all good. No pain, no gain and all that. Since the start of this epic journey I’ve gone from 17st 8lbs to 15st 4lbs. This brings my total weight loss overall since I started to 32lbs. Hopefully this time I’ll keep it all off!

Techno-Envy

My arch-nemesis came back to haunt me with a vengeance over the last couple of weeks. The 21st century green eyed monster I have labelled ‘techno-envy‘ has reared its ugly head again. First the new iPads were unleashed (I know, I know. I don’t need one. Doesn’t mean I don’t want one though) and then I made the mistake of switching on my old laptop. Compared to Mrs Cheesecake’s new beast of a desktop my laptop is, frankly, a bit shite. I’ve since found myself here regularly drooling at all the fine bits of kit that are on offer. I foresee a purchase on the horizon.

The Social Media Brick Wall

I think that I have reached an impasse when it comes to all the social media that I currently inhabit. Hmmm, how best to explain? You would think that using Twitter/FB/Blogger et al for years now that I would be getting more confident and better at navigating through the technological molasses that is the internet? No, not at all. In fact, if anything, I am getting worse. I’ve done a terrible job of promoting my review site and seem to fail regularly at connecting online with other like minded peoples. Due to this my apathy towards all forms of social media seems to be growing exponentially. I get frustrated and annoyed far too quickly. (I should stress here that my anger and frustation are almost entirely directed at myself).

Perhaps some sort of self imposed exile may be in order just so I can come back to this arena at a later date with a more positive attitude to it all. I just don’t know the best way out of this techno-funk? The solution to my current malaise may require more brain power than I previously thought.

The Con is On!

I am however somewhat hopeful that my overcast mood will soon lift. Why? Well, Alt.Fiction is very nearly upon us. I was fortunate enough to attend last year and I had a rather good time. This year the event takes place in Leicester . Never been there before so it’ll be interested to check out somewhere new.

My one resolution for this year is the same as it always is – try and be a bit less shy. You might not realise this to look at me but inside I’m just a huge, uncoordinated, awkward bag of nerves when around people I’m slightly in awe of. For clarification I am in awe of anyone who is more creative than I am (so that’s effectively the entire population of the planet).

Anyway, if you happen to be there and you see a slightly bemused looking Scotsman with bright red hair please do say hello. I will certainly try and respond. Perhaps even using something that resembles a human language? Your guess is as good as mine.

Right I’ve had enough of the writing malarkey for now. I’ll leave with a bit of abstract art that Mrs Cheesecake and I crafted while out shopping last night. It’s a reflective piece that offers insight into the rampant consumerism that plagues our planet….

Rude words, run away!

…or it may just be childish, fucking about.

TTFN

A Musical Interlude

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Last Wednesday was a rather good day. I managed to pick up a review copy of Tom-All-Alone’s (more on that next tuesday when I post my review) and I stumbled across the soundtrack to the BBC version of Sherlock on Spotify. When I tweeted that very fact I got a thank you from David Arnold.

Told you so!

As is often the way with these things I got me to thinking. What soundtracks have totally got under my skin and always illicit a positive response from me? After a bit of thought and in no sort of order whatsoever I have come up with the following list.

  • Sherlock by David Arnold and Michael Price – Thoroughly modern but also captures the original Victorian setting and mood of classic Holmes as well. Evocative stuff.
  • Tron Legacy by Daft Punk – I have to admit I was highly dubious when I originally heard that Daft Punk were going to be on board for this but I was one million percent wrong. Many people have said that this is the best thing about the sequel and the more I think about it the more inclined I am to agree. Huge sprawling electronica with an anthemic nod.
  • The Warriors by Barry De Vorzon – There is a lot to be said for music that captures a time period accurately. The main theme is a perfect example of this. 70s through and through. Weirdly I heard this before I ever saw the film and I always thought it was bloody sinister. (No I don’t know where that came from either).
  • Lord of the Rings by Howard Shore – An entire trilogy of beautiful, moving themes. Makes me start to well-up every single time I think about (Yes I know I am a big softie, would you care to make something of it? You would! Then pistols at dawn it is. I demand satisfaction)

  • Flash Gordon by Queen – Well, if you’re gonna do cheese you best do it well. A wonderfully camp soundtrack to go along with a wonderfully camp film.
I could go on forever, I really could, but its just started to snow so I’m going to go and watch that instead.
Till next time
Keep it musical
Mr C

Pablo Cheesecake Goes Haywire and then Grey

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Its time for another one of those posts that devotes itself to one of my favourite things – the silver screen. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been to the cinema a couple of times.

First up was the latest Steven Soderbergh film, Haywire.

Don’t let the pink gloves fool you. She would kick your ass

I took great delight in watching retired MMA fighter Gina Carano hold her own against some big Hollywood names.  She plays Mallory Kane an operative for a private security firm who is burned by her boss and seeks revenge against everyone who set her up. Carano comes across really well in the film. Tough as nails, resourceful and a match for any obstacle in her path. I think I would happily watch a sequel to this.

Soderbergh has a knack when it comes to large ensemble casts and having the likes of Antonio Banderas, Michael Fassbender, Michael Douglas and Ewan McGregor on board probably helps. The twin highlights of Fassbender getting his ass kicked and a rooftop chase across the streets of Dublin were well worth the price of admission.

Next The Grey (or as Mrs Cheesecake has re-christened it Rambo with Wolves). I have to admit I wasn’t sure what to expect. So far I’ve only seen two Joe Carnahan directed films. I enjoyed Smokin Aces quite a bit, The A-Team was passable but not brilliant.  The Grey, however, is just excellent, I cant recommend it highly enough. Liam Neeson is a bit fucking epic in this. I wouldn’t dream of giving anything away but I can guarantee some serious excitement and also a rather captivating story. I was on the edge of my seat, man vs nature proves to be fertile ground when it comes to the action genre.

I heard the other day that originally Bradley Cooper was supposed to star in this one. I’m so glad Neeson did instead. The final minutes of this film are just breathtaking. Neeson brings a craggy gravitas to his role that will bring a tear to your eye.

Who let Liam near the mini bar?

Anyway I think that’s enough for now.

Till next our paths cross
Cheerio
Mr P Cheesecake Esq

Keep on Running

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The first two weeks of the 2012 challenge are complete. Thoughts so far? Well, unsurprisingly it’s been fucking hard. I’ve had a think about it and I don’t think, prior to this month, I have actually run at all this century. (Thats probably not good is it?) So far I have managed 18k so only 482k to go. Why only 18k? I have to be honest and fess up, I only managed 3k the first time out. Since then however I managed a solid 5k each time I have gone to the gym. Perseverance appears to be the watchword

I’m also pleased to note* the fact that I have managed to get slightly faster on each occasion. Not massively so but I guess its can only be a good thing to be improving. The key thing, I think, is that I have to keep reminding myself that this is a long term goal. I plan on going to the gym twice a week for the rest of the year. I will run 500k in 2012 and if I’m going to I don’t want to over do it first month out.

The best way I can think to celebrate this momentous(-ish) achievement. An appropriately themed bit of music I think.

Later Peoples

Pablo ‘The Running Man’ Cheesecake

*feel free to insert – I’m quietly smug about