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It was inevitable really. After years of moaning about everything else it was only a matter of time before I turned my attention to the worst offender of them all. The King of the Hill, El Numero Uno, The Big Kahuna, the Grand Fromage………me.
What could possibly cause all this full on self-loathing? Hmm…how best to put it….Since I turned thirty my body has been failing me on, what seems like, a regular basis.
The most recent trauma is a recurrence of my thyroid issues. Now for those blissfully ignorant of this particular gland the thyroid helps to regulate energy levels in your body. Mine, putting it as succinctly as possible, is fucked. I have been using medication for a few years now to help manage the problem. A while back my doctor suggested a reduction in my meds. Initially everything seemed fine and, as is the way with these things, I promptly forgot all about it.
Cut to last week. In the space of one day I feel asleep at my desk at work, then on the bus on the way home and for a third time at around 8pm. As soon as I sit down and I am not focusing on anything I start to drift off and then fall asleep.
The worst part, without doubt, is that this is causing problems with my reading. I am sure most of you are aware that I run The Eloquent Page. I like to keep it ticking over and try to post a couple of reviews a week. For me a couple of books of week is an easily achievable goal. Unfortunately my thyroid is causing me no end of grief. No matter how much I am glued to the latest novel I am reading if I get too comfortable and relax and then I start to fall asleep. It is making things difficult to keep to a regular posting schedule. I am going to try to keep going and hopefully the boffins can sort me out. I just feel terribly disappointed. Literally at the point where things are starting to pick up with the site and I am failing myself.
Sorry. I apologise. Please excuse the self-pity. I just needed to vent a bit. its just so fucking annoying. I feel fine but can’t stay awake. There are many people in the world that are way worse off than I am so I don’t really have any right to complain.
Days and months zip by and on a much more upbeat note, it is my birthday this weekend. Has it really been a whole year? I’m looking forward to spending a nice day with Mrs Cheesecake. She has promised a slap up lunch, always a bonus, and I know she has a couple of surprise gifts hidden somewhere. When it comes to birthdays and Christmas I am still a big kid. I love opening gifts and enjoy the festiveness of it all. If I think about it I dont really care what age I am. Every year seems to bring new challenges but also new joys. I’m just aiming to be happy in my own skin. Not the loftiest of goals but a good one I think.
The latest production diary for The Hobbit surfaced this morning. Once again I find myself swept up in all the excitement. Peter Jackson is entirely the right man for the job, as he has proved already with Bad Taste and Braindead. (If you haven’t seen either then seek them out immediately dammit! ) I think he did direct some other stuff but I am not sure what they are about.
Meanwhile Batman Live has finally started it’s tour. Mrs Cheesecake and I have tickets for when it arrives in Nottingham. If it is as good as Doctor Who Live was we should be in for a real treat. Nothing better than a public entertainment is there? I have high hopes. I’m also looking forward to the forthcoming DC reboot. I just need to decided what titles to spend my hard earned on.
I was complaining a while back that I had owned my shiny new iPhone 4 for a while and was yet to receive a phone call on it. Now don’t panic I’m not looking for your pity. I don’t get a great deal of phone calls full stop but that’s cool I contact my peoples via the social media and what not. I just wanted to relate the tale of what happened when I finally did get my first call.
Mrs Cheesecake rang to let me know she would be late. The phone started to vibrate (like the conscientious sod I am I tend to put it on silent. Which in itself is a shame as I have cracking ring-tone but I digress *see below*) Any way, I answered the phone with a flourishing swipe of my finger on the touchscreen.
“Hello” says I
….Not a peep in response
“Hello” again nothing.
Finally after about 30 seconds I remember that my headphones are plugged in to the phone but I am wearing them round my neck not on my ears. Turns out that once again, though I love my technology, I am the very definition of ‘a tool’.
* Here, for anyone that has gotten this far, is my current ring-tone*
Till my next rant.
The Caped Cheesecake
Once again Mrs Cheesecake is out in the fresh air attacking the garden with an admirable vigour. I, meanwhile, am hiding out in the spare room pondering the universe. This week I have mostly been obsessing about all the little things.
Pablo Cheesecake – Stat Whore
A negative I’ve noticed about running The Eloquent Page is that I have started to obsess about the number of hits the site receives on a daily basis. It’s ridiculous really. I get caught up with numbers, always have if I’m honest. I set myself a target and once I reach that I always have to try and go one better. If for any reason I get less than the day before I am thrown into a blind panic and start to question my entire existence.
This behaviour has to stop. I need to remember the reason I created the site in the first place. For those playing along at home the correct answer is – To get back into reading and to connect with others who love a good read.
In an effort to curb the madness and reclaim my sanity I am only going to post once this week, on Friday.
A game of cheesecake
This week I’m also attempting to take on my Moby Dick of reading, my great white literary whale, A Game of Thrones. I thought I should read before the TV show starts. I’ve mentioned in the past that I have never managed to read this book and I am more determined than ever to break the back of this beast. Unfortunately I am not off to a flying start, only 30 pages in *sadface*. Hell I should probably be reading it right now but instead I am waxing lyrical on the interweb.
I saw the new footage of the Green Lantern on the internet yesterday. I was impressed and then I was panicked. Is it too good to be true? Have we been subjected to the best 4 minutes already and the movie as a whole will not the what I hoped it could be? Am I obsessing again about things that I have absolutely no control over whatsoever? I remain fearfully optimistic.
feel the Burn
I reached a milestone with the old situps at the beginning of the week. I have now sailed past 5000 and I am bang on track to achieve 20000 in 2011. Now that I have settled into a routine I am starting to panic that it is getting too easy and I wont reap any benefits. I’m worried that if there is less pain there will be less gain. I’ll be honest the KFC probably isn’t helping either.
Great Scott! I’m a gibbering wreck of a human being. Please feel free to return to your normal Sunday afternoon viewing while I go and rock slowly in the corner muttering expletives to myself.
I think it’s fair to say that everyone that reads this blog will be connecting to it via the technological wonder that is the Internet. I think it’s also fair to say that the speed at which you are able to access this content plays a large part in your enjoyment of said content. Recently my home interweb connection and specifically the ISP that provided it have been fucking me about in a grand old fashion.
Wait I’m getting ahead of myself here. Lets go back in time and I can explain from the beginning.
Since I have been using the internet at home, roughly since the mid 1990s, I have been using BT as my internet service provider. They have proven to be historically reliable and based on that I started to grow ever complacent with their diminishing service. Recently I checked the contract I had with them. It read something like this
“Dear Complacent Ass we have promised you up to 20MB broadband speed. We are now sat in our ivory tower quaffing champers and laughing at you. You are only getting 1.5MB. Ignoring your existence love and hugs BT” (I may have paraphrased slightly there).
Turns out you can only mess me about for a few years before I finally get the hint. Another well known ISP *cough* Virgin Media *cough* were able to offer me up 50MB for an additional fiver a month. The best part about it is, and this is the kicker, I’ve run a speed test a couple of times since changing supplier and I am getting at minimum 30MB. So even at worst the connection speed it is still nearly 30x faster than before.
**SPLUT** Sorry that was the sound of my head exploding like a ripe melon as I try to get my brain around that number.
If the story has an moral, and I’m not sure it has, its that BT can take a long jump of a short pier. I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire. They relied on my customer loyalty and when it came the the punch provided to little to late. I called them today to cancel my account. First question I was asked
“Is there anything we can do to stop you cancelling your account?”
“Can you provide up to 50MB broadband speeds?”
“Then I guess there is nothing you can do”
*resigned sigh* at other end of phone.
Gosh I feel better I’ve go that rant of my chest.