Pablo Cheesecake v The Internet Connection of Much Crapness

I think it’s fair to say that everyone that reads this blog will be connecting to it via the technological wonder that is the Internet. I think it’s also fair to say that the speed at which you are able to access this content plays a large part in your enjoyment of said content. Recently my home interweb connection and specifically the ISP that provided it have been fucking me about in a grand old fashion.

Wait I’m getting ahead of myself here. Lets go back in time and I can explain from the beginning.

Since I have been using the internet at home, roughly since the mid 1990s, I have been using BT as my internet service provider. They have proven to be historically reliable and based on that I started to grow ever complacent with their diminishing service. Recently I checked the contract I had with them. It read something like this

Dear Complacent Ass we have promised you up to 20MB broadband speed. We are now sat in our ivory tower quaffing champers and laughing at you. You are only getting 1.5MB. Ignoring your existence love and hugs BT”  (I may have paraphrased slightly there).

Turns out you can only mess me about for a few years before I finally get the hint. Another well known ISP *cough* Virgin Media *cough* were able to offer me up 50MB for an additional fiver a month. The best part about it is, and this is the kicker, I’ve run a speed test a couple of times since changing supplier and I am getting at minimum 30MB. So even at worst the connection speed it is still nearly 30x faster than before.

**SPLUT** Sorry that was the sound of my head exploding like a ripe melon as I try to get my brain around that number.

If the story has an moral, and I’m not sure it has, its that BT can take a long jump of a short pier. I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire. They relied on my customer loyalty and when it came the the punch provided to little to late. I called them today to cancel my account. First question I was asked
“Is there anything we can do to stop you cancelling your account?”
“Can you provide up to 50MB broadband speeds?”
“Erm…..no”
“Then I guess there is nothing you can do”
*resigned sigh* at other end of phone.

Gosh I feel better I’ve go that rant of my chest.

Later Peoples

Pablo VirginMediacake

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