I was sitting drinking a can of Irn Bru and it struck me that Scotland is a truly bizarre place. Don’t get me wrong I love it dearly and wouldn’t change a thing but there are some fantastically odd things that seem to just happen there and nowhere else. So for your delectation and delight a run down on what is great about the world’s most eccentric country.

• Deep fried food – It’s true your average Scottish punter will deep fry anything. If it’s not nailed down it’s fair game. Traditionally fish, sausage, haggis or more obscurely pizza, Mars bars, ice cream. I have even seen Cadbury’s Cream Eggs deep fried at Easter. I can feel my arteries hardening from here. Arrgh I hear you cry that sounds terrible. Wrong…this is proof positive of some higher power in the universe. These tasty deep fried treats exist to soak up alcohol like it is going out of fashion. They can extend a drinking session by hours, in some cases days.

• Men in skirts – The Scotsman has always been stereotypically portrayed as a hard man. Is this something to do with a national costume that is guaranteed to illicit sniggers? Honestly though as it goes wearing a kilt is a pretty cool experience ( I mean that literally and metaphorically). I wore a kilt when I got married and wouldn’t have done it any other way.

• Haggis – Made from God knows what (adhering to a strict don’t ask, don’t tell policy) the mighty Haggis is Scotland’s national dish. The great thing about it is that you can try it all over the country and you will get slight variations every single time. When a Haggis is served it does like like the culinary equivalent of a dare but I advise you to give it a go. You will be pleasantly surprised and remember some poor bastard was up at the crack of dawn catching it for you!

I could wax lyrical about so much more that is Scotland. The historic landmarks, the stunning natural beauty, the culture and history but when it all comes down to its all about my list above. Foods based on a dare and men in skirts! I demand you all go there now and check it out.

Later people of the world

Cheesecake out.