Sometimes I think too much…

I apologise in advance for some of the content in this evenings post. Things get a bit heavy near the beginning. Ahh fuck it. I’ll be honest it’s the closest you’ll every get to deep and meaningful from me so you best enjoy it will you can.

Am I Really Me?

Here is  the head scratcher that I sometimes ponder in the wee small hours of the night. Before I get to the gist of this particular rambling I have to give you a bit of personal history by way of an explanation. When I was four and a half years old I was involved in a serious road accident. I was in the back of a car that was hit by an articulated lorry. The net result being that I was crushed between the front passenger seat and the seat that I was sat on. The back of my skull shattered into my brain and I was in coma for a number of weeks. Brain surgery fucking rocks btw! When I woke I had effectively rebooted. I had lost my memory, was unable to walk or talk. You may find it hard to believe but I was incredibly lucky. When I had first arrived at hospital I was only given hours. The fact that I am still here thirty two years later proves that I must be at least a little bit lucky?

Anyway back to my original point.

The thought that I keep coming back to is this – if the accident had never happened would I be the same person I am now? After the accident I was essentially Pablo Cheesecake 2.0. I had to re-learn everything. I wonder if I would have grown up to be different or the same as I am now. I often think about it. Have I replaced myself? Am I a totally different person from who I was before? Told you it was a mind-bender.

My Latest Brain Worm

For reasons I can’t even begin the fathom the Katy Perry song ‘Firework’ is stuck on my head. Can’t think why? I’m not what you would call a fan of her work. I’m sure she is fabulous, if you like that kind of thing. Phew we’re back on shallow ground again, that’s a relief. Katy Perry – Is she the one married to Brand?

The Hobbit

I watched the first production diary today and it filled me with warm and fuzzy feelings. Genuinely raised a smile. Later on I saw a tweet from Duncan Jones (director of Moon, Source Code) saying that this video reminded him of why he wanted to be a involved with movies in the first place. How cool is that?

Enough already




A week of unhealthy obsession…..

Once again Mrs Cheesecake is out in the fresh air attacking the garden with an admirable vigour. I, meanwhile, am hiding out in the spare room pondering the universe. This week I have mostly been obsessing about all the little things.

Pablo Cheesecake – Stat Whore

A negative I’ve noticed about running The Eloquent Page is that I have started to obsess about the number of hits the site receives on a daily basis. It’s ridiculous really. I get caught up with numbers, always have if I’m honest. I set myself a target and once I reach that I always have to try and go one better. If for any reason I get less than the day before I am thrown into a blind panic and start to question my entire existence.

This behaviour has to stop. I need to remember the reason I created the site in the first place.  For those playing along at home the correct answer is To get back into reading and to connect with others who love a good read.

In an effort to curb the madness and reclaim my sanity I am only going to post once this week, on Friday.

A game of cheesecake

This week I’m also attempting to take on my Moby Dick of reading, my great white literary whale, A Game of Thrones. I thought I should read before the TV show starts. I’ve mentioned in the past that I have never managed to read this book and I am more determined than ever to break the back of this beast. Unfortunately I am not off to a flying start, only 30 pages in *sadface*. Hell I should probably be reading it right now but instead I am waxing lyrical on the interweb.

green lantern

I saw the new footage of the Green Lantern on the internet yesterday. I was impressed and then I was panicked. Is it too good to be true? Have we been subjected to the best 4 minutes already and the movie as a whole will not the what I hoped it could be? Am I obsessing again about things that I have absolutely no control over whatsoever? I remain fearfully optimistic.

feel the Burn

I reached a milestone with the old situps at the beginning of the week. I have now sailed past 5000 and I am bang on track to achieve 20000 in 2011. Now that I have settled into a routine I am starting to panic that it is getting too easy and I wont reap any benefits. I’m worried that if there is less pain there will be less gain. I’ll be honest the KFC probably isn’t helping either.

Great Scott! I’m a gibbering wreck of a human being. Please feel free to return to your normal Sunday afternoon viewing while I go and rock slowly in the corner muttering expletives to myself.

Spring has just arrived but Winter is Coming?

Ahhh Spring and a young (ahem) man’s thoughts turn to blogging. It seems this week that winter is finally receding and the weather is taking a turn for the better. On Tuesday I went to work without a jacket and last night I purchased a short sleeved shirt. Thinking about it this will probably encourage rain. Feel free to blame me I don’t care.

As I type Mrs Cheesecake is out pottering around in the garden. (I should point out that I was helping as well but once all the heavy lifting is done I tend to become superfluous to requirements. I don’t really excel when it come to the delicate stuff.)

game of thrones

We creep ever closer to April 18th and the UK debut of Game of Thrones. I remain steadfastly optimistic but I still haven’t got around to reading the first book. I should probably do that? I am sure it would make the whole televisual experience that much more exciting. In an even worse admission –  I own a copy I’ve just never opened it. I know, I know. I should be taken out back a flayed to within an inch of my existence.

tech obsessive

I just cant help myself. I get a gadget and immediately I have a desire to replace it with the next new shiny that appears on the market. I think part of the problem is that I don’t research things enough. I got a new phone eighteen months ago and thought I was onto a good deal. Turns out I was just buying into the marketing hype. It truly is a massive steaming turd of a thing.  I need to learn to take a step back and then breathe before I make a fucking decision. Still only one hundred and twenty three days and then I can get the phone I actually want.


I recently said on The Eloquent Page that any book is enhanced by the addition on zombies. (I stick to that conclusion by the way). This got me thinking about films. Is there a cinematic equivalent? After much searching I believe the answer may be YES. I firmly believe that the addition of ninjas into any film can only be a good thing. Check this out insanity out!

I have to admit that I do enjoy a film when it is distinctly cheese-laden and this looks like it may fit the bill.

5000 and counting

I reached the first major milestone in this years exercise related buffoonery. 5000 out of 20000 situps are now done. I am bang on my schedule and I think I am starting to feel the benefits of this regime. Next big target is the half way point which, all things remaining equal, I should hit around the end of June. Remember if you are that ways inclined I do have a Just Giving page, in conjunction with the ever steadfast Gibbiot,  where you can show your support.

Till later peoples

stay golden

Mr C

21st Century Frankenstein

This afternoon Mrs Cheesecake and I went to the cinema but rather than see a film we saw a play. The National Theatre are using the wonder of modern technology to present digital screenings of their version of Frankenstein through out the UK at select cinemas. What an absolute treat it was.

Directed by Danny Boyle and starring Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonny Lee Miller this production of Shelly’s classic novel is viewed very much from the monsters perspective.

In an interesting casting decision Cumberbatch and Miller alternate the roles of the Doctor Frankenstein and the Monster each performance. (We saw a performance with Cumberbatch as the monster.)

Both leads were exceptional though for sheer physical presence Cumberbatch may have nudged slightly ahead. That said I am sure if we had seen Lee Miller as the monster I would have felt that way about him. As I said the show is all about the monster.

The supporting cast were great. Karl Johnson stood out as an old blind man who befriends the beast.

The sets though quite minimal were very effective. Some imaginative lighting added to this.

The two hours flew by and I was completely engrossed in the story. If I had the opportunity I would be keen to see another performance with Lee Miller as the Monster for comparison’s sake.

If you get the chance I strongly advise you check this out!

A Cinematic Deathmatch…

Yesterday I went to the cinema with Mrs Cheesecake, as is our want on a typical Saturday afternoon. Actually if you have ever read my blog before then this fact will come as very little surprise.

We saw the new James Purejoy flick, Ironclad. (I should stress I didn’t come up with the nickname Purejoy that was Mrs Cheesecake and her interweb chums.)

I enjoyed the film immensely you should check it out, but that is an aside.

I spotted Jason Flemyng playing a character called Beckett. Think medieval mercenary type and you’ll be on the right lines. *SPOILER* He dies *END SPOILER* After the film a thought popped into my brain, I freely admit this doesn’t happen often. Jason Flemyng seems to die in everything he appears in. Now I admit I haven’t seen his entire back catalogue but it appears just about everything I have watched, that he is in, he bites the bullet.

Behold the evidence

  • Deep Rising – Tentacled to death
  • Stardust – Taken out by ambitious sibling.
  • Solomon Kane – Dispatched by “The Purejoy”. It’s nice to see they made up in Ironclad.
  • Clash of the Titans – Removed from existence by “The Worthington” and he gets his hand chopped off and mutated beyond all recognition before that. Poor bastard.
  • Ironclad – Oh go and see the film for goodness sake!

Jason is basically fucked....again

Who else, I thought, suffers such cinematic bad luck? After sitting around for a bit scratching my head I remembered. Poor old Michelle Rodriguez.

  • Resident Evil – Milla Jovovich is the main female lead. Michelle didn’t stand a chance.
  • Bloodrayne – I’ve seen this but as it is a Uwe Boll film I am required by law to never speak of it again.
  • Fast & Furious – Well she lasted till the fourth film of the franchise. That’s not bad.
  • Lost – They are all already dead anyway so I’m not sure if this counts. (oh sorry *SPOILERS*)
  • Avatar- Even working with James Cameron can’t save you Michelle!

You don't look well love

I reckon it’s about time Jason and Michelle were given a fair shake of the stick. Lets make a film where they get to cut about and dispatch the bad guys and neither of them die?

Oh suit yourself. It was just a thought.

Why isn’t it Friday?

Its been a while since I gave my brain a shake to see what would fall out. Not that I need a reason or anything but seeing as it’s a Thursday and Mrs Cheesecake is involved in some hardcore gaming activity I thought I would type some of the letter keys on my keyboard and see where I ended up.

Politics…Fuck Yeah!

I got a letter today from a Mr Ed Milliband. Apperently he thinks we are friends. He wants to have a chat. I have been musing about my response for a couple of hours and I have come to the conclusion I would rather have my knackers trapped in a vice and hit repeatedly with a cricket bat. After the spectacular horror that was the last General Election I think politics and I need time away from one another. We’ll still talk and try remaining civil, if only for the children’s sake, but for the most part we need to go our separate ways.

Book Overload

This week for reasons I still don’t fully understand I decided to read four books rather than the usual two. I won’t be attempting that again in a hurry. My brain was completely frazzled by the end of the fourth book. All my free time was taken up with reading. I think I’ll chock this one up as an experiment. I have learned my limits if nothing else.

Hmm tonight’s effort short but sweet.

Night all

Movie Mash-up Madness and Celluloid Saturday

Earlier in the week Mrs Cheesecake and I were discussing films. (Not and uncommon occurrence in the Cheesecake household). I had explained to her that I was delighted that with the release Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s new film it was now possible to craft an accurate movie mash-up poster of my real name. (What you thought Pablo Cheesecake was on my birth certificate? Seriously?) My real name is Paul Holmes and by combining Pegg and Frost’s alien comedy with Robert Downey Jr’s consulting detective…hell you get the idea. Mrs Cheesecake took things one step further, being the photoshop ninja that she is, and created the image below. Needless to say I was over the moon. I think she has very skilfully managed to capture my best qualities in movie poster form!

Paul Holmes
Fast forward to today and we decided to head to the cinema and see the aforementioned comedy. What can I say without spoiling all the best bits? I was in a beautiful geek dream. Anyone who has ever seen Star Wars, Star Trek, BSG , Close Encounters of The Third Kind, Aliens or in fact just about any other sci-fi movie/tv show will find something to enjoy here. I fucking loved it.

After a light lunch at the chinese buffet (I’m lying, they had to roll me out of the place) we moved on to our second cinematic offering of the day – True Grit. Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Hailee Steinfeld were all great. I can imagine that there will be Oscars.

Mrs Cheesecake also bought me The Warriors on blu-ray as a little Valentine Day’s gift so I can now round of this week with a bit of 70s style gang drama. Will The Warriors make it all the way back to Coney Island with all of New York after them. Lets find out.
Later Peoples
Mr C

The Tale of The Toaster

This is essentially one big old rant so if your not interested I would look away now. Mind you there is a nice bit at the beginning about loving toast but after that….

Mrs Cheesecake are I are both fans of all things toasted. Crumpets, bagels and good old fashioned bread, they all fucking rock. A Sunday morning hardly goes by without some sort of toasted bakery product being involved. Jams and spreads are also always included and it cheers my soul at the start of the day (I think you get the gist, we like toast).

Toast...Fuck Yeah!

Recently we noted that our current toaster was on its last legs after many faithful years of service. Time for a replacement. Mrs Cheesecake shopped around online and found one on Amazon, a shiny Morphy Richards affair that seemed to meet our stringent toast related requirements. A couple of weeks later, once we had been paid, she went to purchase the toaster only to discover that it had nearly doubled in price!!! She decided to go straight to the source and purchase from Morphy Richards online as this was a cheaper option.  The toaster was duly purchased and we sat back to await its arrival.

A week later a card from a courier company was awaiting for us when we got home from work.I may be paraphrasing a bit here but the card said something along these lines –  Oh hey, we called while you were out, Oh no! We’ll try again tomorrow *smiley face*.

Next day the same thing and the day after that. Mrs Cheesecake decided to give the courier a ring. After nearly an hour of searching for a customer services number and navigating the tricky automated call logging system she finally got to speak to a real human being.

The phone call went something like this

MRS CHEESECAKE: Can you deliver to my work address as it’s easier to reach me there than at home.

COURIER: Sure. Let me just check the the item. (Slight delay) No sorry we can’t.


COURIER: Morphy Richards only allow us only to deliver to the billing address. I would suggest you give them a call. Here are there details.

So, armed with this information, Mrs Cheesecake calls Morphy Richards. She explains the situation and asks for the delivery address to be changed. Morphy Richards immediately respond with a firm NO, citing the same reason the courier gave. Mrs Cheesecake then enquires to the location of the toaster.

Morphy Richards were instructing the courier (there name rhymes with PHL) to only deliver to our home address. The courier would only delivery between 9 and 5. The hours we are at chuffing work.The only option available was to collect from the depot. Turns out that’s miles away. Mrs Cheesecake was told that it would stay there for a week and then be returned to Morphy Richards and she can request a refund at that time if she requires.

What a spectacular online shopping fuck up/fail (on almost all counts). Isn’t online purchasing supposed to be easy? You know hassle free and that sort of shit? We now both feel like this.

Toast Sad Face

See you later

A disheartened Cheesecake

Turns out I was wrong…

The second thousand sit-ups are the hardest. I’ve reached the next milestone in my personal challenge for 2011. Two thousand sit-ups done, a trifling eighteen thousand to go. So far so good. If I’m being honest things are getting easier. Each morning I can rattle through fifty sit-ups and then another fifty when I get home from work. I am now trying to concentrate on improving my form. I want to make every single one of the blighters count!

Food! Glorious Food!

This past weekend Mrs Cheesecake and I went a bit of a bender. A tasty, tasty bender.

On Saturday night we dined at Piccolino in Nottingham. I had a splendid carpaccio of beef to start followed by roast cod with Italian sausage and chilli. Both were exceptional. Is is always my habit I had an expresso to finish. Mrs Cheesecake had mushroom bruschetta with pesto and goats cheese and then as a main course duck with apple.

Sunday lead us to The Priory in Portbury near Bristol. We had been due to go at new year but due to illness were unable to go. We had a full turkey dinner with all the trimmings. It was truly sublime.

Back to the diet today but man what a blow out!