Sometimes I think too much…

Posted on April 14, 2011 by paul

I apologise in advance for some of the content in this evenings post. Things get a bit heavy near the beginning. Ahh fuck it. I’ll be honest it’s the closest you’ll every get to deep and meaningful from me so you best enjoy it will you can.

Am I Really Me?

Here is the head scratcher that I sometimes ponder in the wee small hours of the night. Before I get to the gist of this particular rambling I have to give you a bit of personal history by way of an explanation. When I was four and a half years old I was involved in a serious road accident. I was in the back of a car that was hit by an articulated lorry. The net result being that I was crushed between the front passenger seat and the seat that I was sat on. The back of my skull shattered into my brain and I was in coma for a number of weeks. Brain surgery fucking rocks btw! When I woke I had effectively rebooted. I had lost my memory, was unable to walk or talk. You may find it hard to believe but I was incredibly lucky. When I had first arrived at hospital I was only given hours. The fact that I am still here thirty two years later proves that I must be at least a little bit lucky?

Anyway back to my original point.

The thought that I keep coming back to is this – if the accident had never happened would I be the same person I am now? After the accident I was essentially Pablo Cheesecake 2.0. I had to re-learn everything. I wonder if I would have grown up to be different or the same as I am now. I often think about it. Have I replaced myself? Am I a totally different person from who I was before? Told you it was a mind-bender.

My Latest Brain Worm

For reasons I can’t even begin the fathom the Katy Perry song ‘Firework’ is stuck on my head. Can’t think why? I’m not what you would call a fan of her work. I’m sure she is fabulous, if you like that kind of thing. Phew we’re back on shallow ground again, that’s a relief. Katy Perry – Is she the one married to Brand?

The Hobbit

I watched the first production diary today and it filled me with warm and fuzzy feelings. Genuinely raised a smile. Later on I saw a tweet from Duncan Jones (director of Moon, Source Code) saying that this video reminded him of why he wanted to be a involved with movies in the first place. How cool is that?

Enough already

Later

A week of unhealthy obsession…..

Posted on April 3, 2011 by paul

Once again Mrs Cheesecake is out in the fresh air attacking the garden with an admirable vigour. I, meanwhile, am hiding out in the spare room pondering the universe. This week I have mostly been obsessing about all the little things.

Pablo Cheesecake – Stat Whore

A negative I’ve noticed about running The Eloquent Page is that I have started to obsess about the number of hits the site receives on a daily basis. It’s ridiculous really. I get caught up with numbers, always have if I’m honest. I set myself a target and once I reach that I always have to try and go one better. If for any reason I get less than the day before I am thrown into a blind panic and start to question my entire existence.

This behaviour has to stop. I need to remember the reason I created the site in the first place. For those playing along at home the correct answer is – To get back into reading and to connect with others who love a good read.

In an effort to curb the madness and reclaim my sanity I am only going to post once this week, on Friday.

A game of cheesecake

This week I’m also attempting to take on my Moby Dick of reading, my great white literary whale, A Game of Thrones. I thought I should read before the TV show starts. I’ve mentioned in the past that I have never managed to read this book and I am more determined than ever to break the back of this beast. Unfortunately I am not off to a flying start, only 30 pages in *sadface*. Hell I should probably be reading it right now but instead I am waxing lyrical on the interweb.

green lantern

I saw the new footage of the Green Lantern on the internet yesterday. I was impressed and then I was panicked. Is it too good to be true? Have we been subjected to the best 4 minutes already and the movie as a whole will not the what I hoped it could be? Am I obsessing again about things that I have absolutely no control over whatsoever? I remain fearfully optimistic.

feel the Burn

I reached a milestone with the old situps at the beginning of the week. I have now sailed past 5000 and I am bang on track to achieve 20000 in 2011. Now that I have settled into a routine I am starting to panic that it is getting too easy and I wont reap any benefits. I’m worried that if there is less pain there will be less gain. I’ll be honest the KFC probably isn’t helping either.

Great Scott! I’m a gibbering wreck of a human being. Please feel free to return to your normal Sunday afternoon viewing while I go and rock slowly in the corner muttering expletives to myself.

21st Century Frankenstein

Posted on March 19, 2011 by paul

This afternoon Mrs Cheesecake and I went to the cinema but rather than see a film we saw a play. The National Theatre are using the wonder of modern technology to present digital screenings of their version of Frankenstein through out the UK at select cinemas. What an absolute treat it was.

Directed by Danny Boyle and starring Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonny Lee Miller this production of Shelly’s classic novel is viewed very much from the monsters perspective.

In an interesting casting decision Cumberbatch and Miller alternate the roles of the Doctor Frankenstein and the Monster each performance. (We saw a performance with Cumberbatch as the monster.)

Both leads were exceptional though for sheer physical presence Cumberbatch may have nudged slightly ahead. That said I am sure if we had seen Lee Miller as the monster I would have felt that way about him. As I said the show is all about the monster.

The supporting cast were great. Karl Johnson stood out as an old blind man who befriends the beast.

The sets though quite minimal were very effective. Some imaginative lighting added to this.

The two hours flew by and I was completely engrossed in the story. If I had the opportunity I would be keen to see another performance with Lee Miller as the Monster for comparison’s sake.

If you get the chance I strongly advise you check this out!

A Cinematic Deathmatch…

Posted on March 6, 2011 by paul

Yesterday I went to the cinema with Mrs Cheesecake, as is our want on a typical Saturday afternoon. Actually if you have ever read my blog before then this fact will come as very little surprise.

We saw the new James Purejoy flick, Ironclad. (I should stress I didn’t come up with the nickname Purejoy that was Mrs Cheesecake and her interweb chums.)

I enjoyed the film immensely you should check it out, but that is an aside.

I spotted Jason Flemyng playing a character called Beckett. Think medieval mercenary type and you’ll be on the right lines. *SPOILER* He dies *END SPOILER* After the film a thought popped into my brain, I freely admit this doesn’t happen often. Jason Flemyng seems to die in everything he appears in. Now I admit I haven’t seen his entire back catalogue but it appears just about everything I have watched, that he is in, he bites the bullet.

Behold the evidence

Deep Rising – Tentacled to death
Stardust – Taken out by ambitious sibling.
Solomon Kane – Dispatched by “The Purejoy”. It’s nice to see they made up in Ironclad.
Clash of the Titans – Removed from existence by “The Worthington” and he gets his hand chopped off and mutated beyond all recognition before that. Poor bastard.
Ironclad – Oh go and see the film for goodness sake!

Who else, I thought, suffers such cinematic bad luck? After sitting around for a bit scratching my head I remembered. Poor old Michelle Rodriguez.

Resident Evil – Milla Jovovich is the main female lead. Michelle didn’t stand a chance.
Bloodrayne – I’ve seen this but as it is a Uwe Boll film I am required by law to never speak of it again.
Fast & Furious – Well she lasted till the fourth film of the franchise. That’s not bad.
Lost – They are all already dead anyway so I’m not sure if this counts. (oh sorry *SPOILERS*)
Avatar- Even working with James Cameron can’t save you Michelle!

I reckon it’s about time Jason and Michelle were given a fair shake of the stick. Lets make a film where they get to cut about and dispatch the bad guys and neither of them die?

Oh suit yourself. It was just a thought.

Movie Mash-up Madness and Celluloid Saturday

Posted on February 19, 2011 by paul

Earlier in the week Mrs Cheesecake and I were discussing films. (Not and uncommon occurrence in the Cheesecake household). I had explained to her that I was delighted that with the release Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s new film it was now possible to craft an accurate movie mash-up poster of my real name. (What you thought Pablo Cheesecake was on my birth certificate? Seriously?) My real name is Paul Holmes and by combining Pegg and Frost’s alien comedy with Robert Downey Jr’s consulting detective…hell you get the idea. Mrs Cheesecake took things one step further, being the photoshop ninja that she is, and created the image below. Needless to say I was over the moon. I think she has very skilfully managed to capture my best qualities in movie poster form!

Paul Holmes
Fast forward to today and we decided to head to the cinema and see the aforementioned comedy. What can I say without spoiling all the best bits? I was in a beautiful geek dream. Anyone who has ever seen Star Wars, Star Trek, BSG , Close Encounters of The Third Kind, Aliens or in fact just about any other sci-fi movie/tv show will find something to enjoy here. I fucking loved it.

After a light lunch at the chinese buffet (I’m lying, they had to roll me out of the place) we moved on to our second cinematic offering of the day – True Grit. Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Hailee Steinfeld were all great. I can imagine that there will be Oscars.

Mrs Cheesecake also bought me The Warriors on blu-ray as a little Valentine Day’s gift so I can now round of this week with a bit of 70s style gang drama. Will The Warriors make it all the way back to Coney Island with all of New York after them. Lets find out.
Later Peoples
Mr C

I forgot the title….oops

Posted on December 22, 2010 by paul

I really don’t think I should be watching Pineapple Express after an afternoon of drinking. This film is seriously weird. Gary Cole is a comic god though. I’ve decided to try another blogging tool. Today’s blog is brought to you by ecto. Much like Mars Edit it seems to cover all the bases when it comes posting a blog. I’ll try it over the next couple of weeks and see how I get on.

Flash Ahh-Ahh – Another Old Skool movie blog

Posted on June 17, 2010 by paul

If Brian Blessed were a cake he would be fruit and nut. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t mean that in a nasty way. He’s is as mad as a bag of snakes and I love him for it. More on the King of Bellowing later, I just had to get that off my chest from the get-go.

There have been a number of attempts to bring Alex Raymond‘s creation to life. From the Buster Crabbe film serials, via Defenders of the Earth, right up to recent abysmal TV series (oh come on…it was shit and you know it). Hell there is even a 3D version in development right now. What I’m really interested in though is the 1980 film.

The Mike Hodges vision of Flash is deliciously camp. Rightly so in my opinion. Look at this example below of one of the original strips. Strewth he’s got no strides on! That’s right Flash is all about no pants action.

With this as the source material there is really no surprise we ended up here. Actually it’s quite tame in comparison isn’t it.

The Cast

Everyone is great in this. Max Von Sydow is the worlds greatest pantomime villain as Ming the Merciless. Having Peter Wyngarde as Klytus is inspired as well. I understand why he had to wear a mask though. Can’t have Jason King stealing all the limelight now can we.

(As an aside. When I grow up I want to look like this)

Topol, Melody Anderson, Timothy Dalton, Richard O’Brien, The dude from Blue Peter (yes I know it was Peter Duncan. It was a joke) they are all perfect. Damn shame Flash, Sam Jones, got dubbed but them as they say is the breaks. Even spotted a young Robbie Coltrane as a baggage handler near the beginning of the film. Though if you blink you will miss him.

Brian Blessed is brilliant as Vultan, King of the Hawkmen. His subtly nuanced shouting makes the film for me. He wanders around wearing a strange leather nappy/S&M outfit as though it is the most natural thing in the world. Why he is not playing Odin in Thor I will never know. He was robbed dammit.

The Music

It’s Queen people. Come on with this and Highlander they rocked the 80s movie soundtrack scene. Ok I’m not sure if there was actually a scene but lets just imagine there was. Just sit back and enjoy. Go to your happy place and let this nonsense just wash over you.

The film never did particularly well it the box office. Sam Jones even won a Golden Raspberry for his acting but personally I think this masterpiece needs your love. This is a pulp hero made flesh in the campiest manner available and it rocks.

All together now, FLASH….AHH…AHH…He’ll save everyone of us.

Flash Cheesecake

Calling all the Heroes…..

Posted on June 7, 2010 by paul

When it comes to film there is nothing better than sheer unadulterated escapism. I want, nay demand, the following: flying people, explosions, cunning stunts and superpowers. Over the last couple of years it seems that the big movie studios are starting to get my none too subtle hints. Comic book movies can be cool. Iron Man worked well. The Dark Knight was epic in scope. I am, and probably always will be, the eternal optimist so I’ve decided to take a look forward at what’s on the horizon when it comes to comic book adaptations.

The Green Lantern

I have high hopes for this. I like Ryan Reynolds and I reckon he can pull off Hal Jordan (oh that just doesn’t sound right now that I’ve typed it). If Ryan happens across this little blog I have but one thing to ask (ok two). Can you reign in the zany about 70% ?. While I’m making demands would like to see Kilowog in the mix as well. Ohh check out this most decent fan art I found on the interwebs.

Deadpool

Gosh it’s that chappie Reynolds again. This time as the merc with the mouth, Deadpool. Again Ryan if your reading this please feel free to go entirely the other way with this one. In fact the more batshit insane the better I think.

Captain America – The First Avenger

I saw The Losers (another comic book inspired movie fact fans) at the weekend and I enjoyed all the performances. Chris Evans did his usual charming goofball shtick. I’ve seen the concept art and he certainly looks the part but again like Reynolds in Green Lantern dial down the sass (good word there from Mrs Cheesecake).

The Avengers

We have much love for Iron Man here at Casa de Cheesecake. Judging by the pics seen so far The Mighty Thor will indeed rock. The Hulk will most likely be back and if rumours are true we’ll see Hawkeye and possibly Ant Man/Giant Man. Throw the First Avenger into the mix and it’s all good. I’m sure Joss Whedon can do the business. I always enjoyed his TV shows, even the ones that were cancelled way to soon.

Actually that reminds me. I was once in Belgium and saw an issue of The Avengers in Flemish. De Vergelders (who knew Marvel published in Flemish. That’s pretty cool.)

Rumour- Monger

There are loads of other adaptations we are likely to see soon as well. More Batman, unlikely it will be The Dark Knight Returns but we can live in hope. More Spiderman, a shame they are going for a reboot I enjoyed Raimi’s take.

One final thought. If anyone out there wants a cracking comic that would make an excellent film you could do a lot worse than Alien Legion. Consider yourself told.

Direct from the Cheesecake Cave

Captain Cheesecake

What makes a film for me…

Posted on May 26, 2010 by paul

The other day I got to thinking. I was wondering about what makes a film special for me. What are the different ingredients that make a movie resonate and ensure I will return for more. I should stress I’m going to jump around in genres here a bit. There is no one film that will contain all these things (at least I don’t think there is?) After some thought I came up with the following list.

a Futile Gesture

Nothing better than a character(s) in a movie laying down their lives for very little point. With a cry of either “You go on without me” or “I’ll hold them off” the plucky sidekick is instantly doomed and royally screwed. Examples: Almost the entire cast of Aliens, Miles Dyson (Terminator 2), Spoon (Dog Soldiers) Ok I admit boxing a werewolf is cool but be honest he was fucked.

Breaking the 4th Wall

Wikipedia defines this as “The presence of the fourth wall is an established convention of fiction and drama, which has led some artists to draw direct attention to it for dramatic or comedic effect. When this boundary is “broken”, for example by an actor onstage speaking to the audience directly, or doing the same through the camera in a film or television program, it is called “breaking the fourth wall”

Mel Brooks is very good at this and he does it all the time, see the example below. Nothing funnier than a glimpse behind the curtain so to speak. Other good examples in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, National Lampoon’s Animal House and The Mask.

time travel / Time machines

Doesn’t matter if it’s Back to The Future, The Time Machine, Primer, Twelve Monkeys or The Time Traveller’s Wife. Messing about with the linear nature of the universe is just epic. I enjoy nothing better than the headfuck that is a good temporal paradox. I saw Hot Tub Time Machine the other day and it dealt with the macguffin that is time travel excellently. It was also great to see Chevy Chase on screen again as I love Fletch. I tried reading the article on Wikipedia about time travel but my head threatened to implode and then explode.

swords

Highlander alone should be reason enough to have this on the list but there are many other splendid films that feature the merry swash and buckle of swords. Kill Bill would not have been half as special if it had been all gun rather than sword play. Other prime examples include Zatoichi, The Sword and the Sorcerer and The Princess Bride.

The Lower Lip wobble

Something that always amuses me, when it really shouldn’t, is when an actor attempts subtle emotion on screen. Some lovely lower lip acting going on in this scene from Jerry Maguire. Fucking hilarious!

an epic finale

I have much love for Who Dares Wins, I’ve discussed it before at some length. One of the reasons is this ten minute sequence toward the end of the film. If your not that interested in watching the whole clip cut to around 9.05 and enjoy the macho hall jogging.

So there you have it. All you Directors out there please take note. All you need do is create a film that has even one of these elements and I’m there. Two or more and I will be your willing slave for life.

Cheerio

A Cinematic Cheesecake

Undefined Randomness from the Cheesecake of Darkness

Posted on May 10, 2010 by paul

Spies and Vikings

Its been an age since I purchased any new books. My e-reader is pretty full and I am slowly working my way through the backlog. There are however a couple of upcoming titles which I am very keen to get my hands on and will have to go old school a buy paper copies of both.

Mark Chadbourn‘s The Sword of Albion will hit the shelves soon and as I’ve got all his other books it seems likely I’ll buy this one as well. Spies in Elizabethan England – oh yes I think so.

I am also really looking forward to Wolfsangel by MD Lachlan. I’ve heard lots of good things and so will be rushing out to buy once it is released into the wild. Vikings! Yeah I’ll have me some of that. Hmmm when it comes to Vikings you do have to go some to top this though……

Consider the gauntlet well and truly laid down Mr Lachlan, good luck sir! Full Led Zepplin inspired goodness can be located here.

B-Movieathon

Even shite movies deserve some love. When I was a teenager I amassed a vast collection of B-Movies. I went though a phase where the longer or sillier the movie title the more interested I was in viewing it. How could you not love Class of Nuke’Em High Part II: Subhumanoid Meltdown?

Not long ago I realized a lot of the so called ‘mainstream’ stream films I’ve been watching were missing the sense of silly fun that comes with a good B-Movie. I decided it was time to get back in touch with my B-movie roots. I’ve purchased the following from Amazon and I await it’s arrival in the next couple of weeks.

B-Movie
That’s right peoples a 12 disc B-Movie boxed set. Hell Comes to Frogtown, The Stuff (come on who wouldn’t love a film about a rampaging yogurt?) Elvira: Mistress of the Dark, Night of the Living Dead. The list just keeps throwing out gems. Return of the Killer Tomatoes – you have to appreciate the joy of this. People need to know that one of George Clooney‘s first movie roles is about killer fruit.

‘But Pablo’ you cry ‘B-Movies are laughably bad’. You are essentially right but lets not forget the heartwarming story of Mr P Jackson. I’m sure some of you may have seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy but would that exist, or indeed be as good, without the bugnuts insane delights of his earlier work? I demand you go now and seek out Bad Taste, Braindead and Meet the Feebles. Once you’ve viewed all three then we’ll talk.

Gadget Envy

Mrs Cheesecake got a new phone recently. She is not a great fan of touchscreen tech so instead got herself a Crackberry 8900. I have to admit that even though it’s not the smart phone I would buy for myself I do find it quite a neat little bit of techno-wizardry. I still have 12 months to go before I can get a new phone so I must gaze on enviously as she tweets and msgs effortlessly.

Till next time. Don’t you go changin.

Cheesecake Out

Pablo Cheesecake

A Mid-Life Crisis Waiting to Happen…

Category Archives: Cinema