Pirates, Books, Running and Rocky IV

TA-DA! Behold my Internet Catharsis*

Ok, so its possible that you are familiar with the book reviews that I post, or you’ve followed me on some sort of social media or another but perhaps you’ve never found yourself here before? This is where I come to shake what is in my head out to see what happens. This is the land of do as you please. I don’t follow any rules here, including the laws of grammar (as I’m sure some of you have already spotted). This is just a big o’ heap of stuff. If you like, well thats just luvverly. If you don’t then please ensure the door don’t hit you on the ass on the way out.

Any-who , on with this evenings show…

The Crimson Cheesecake and other Golden Oldies

Recently, in life, things have taken a distinctly piratical direction (no, I’m not going to tell you why). This culminated at the weekend with a viewing of The Crimson Pirate. I love that film. It harks back to the days when colour was GLORIOUS TECHNICOLOUR. Burt Lancaster wears stripey tights and manages to make them look manly. His acrobatic skills (from his days in the circus?) get to shine. Hell, at one point even a young Christopher Lee pops up being all evil and sinister.

The whole experience got me thinking about old films I really enjoy. I immediately bought The Medusa Touch. I think I’ll have to see if I can also source The Cassandra Crossing and Holocaust 2000.  All these films left a very distinct impression on an entirely suggestible young boy many years ago. I think it is high time I revisit them all.

That Whole Reading Thing

This year I am on course to read around one hundred books. I’ve been thinking about this and I reckon it may have been the silliest fucking thing I have ever done. I’ve always been able to read quite quickly but I feel like I’m really pushing my limits a bit. I can tell you one thing, I wont be doing it again. When reading begins to feel like a chore rather than a joy I think thats the time to stop, take stock and re-evaluate. I think 2013 will have to have a far more sedate pace. I spectacularly lucky that from time to time I get sent copies of books to review and it is always a pleasure to receive them but I have to be realistic and accept the fact that there is no way I can keep up the frantic pace. My brain is starting to bleed out my ears. The book I finished tonight had nine hundred and sixty eight pages for fucks sake.

2012 Challenge Update

420km run, 80km to go. Its all feel rather academic now. With the exception of getting hit by a bus, or stray meteorite, there is every chance that I will complete this. With that in mind my gaze turns towards 2013. What feat of lunacy will take up the next twelve months? I reckon the cycling is next on my agenda. So without any further flim-flam or shilly-shally I am glad to confirm that next year I will cycle 1000k in 12 months (What made me think this was a good idea again? I must be mental).

In a gym related aside. I had a rather wonderful moment in the gym on Monday. I was on the treadmill doing the running thing, no-one else was in the room, and this came on my iPod.


I found myself running much faster than normal with a big, dopey grin on my face. I must have looked like a prize tool but I was ridiculously happy. I think I might of been having what the young kids call ‘fun’? (Yes, it was a surprise to me as well).

Tonights blog was brought to you by the letter R and the number 3.

Adios muchachos, till next time

And remember if you can’t say anything nice…dont say anything at all shut the fuck up.

Cheesecake Out

* It’s either this or unleashing me back into the wild. You decide. I don’t care I’ll do either. 

The Week I Nearly Lost My Trousers

Yet again time has flitted by and I haven’t written a personal blog post for ages. I must try harder to jot things down. I promise I’ll do better.

Movie Music Magnum Opus

After much indecision and pfaffing on my part I have finally completed my very own ultimate Spotify playlist. Essentially it contains every single one of my favorite movie tunes. (Ok, ok perhaps not every one. But at least the ones I remember).  Over one hundred tracks which equates to about six hours of top tunes. (You get a prize if you can name all the films that they come from*). Some are blindingly obvious while some are far more obscure. Just to make things are little bit more complicated some are original tracks from the movie soundtrack while others are just featured in key scenes. I can guarantee you this though – every single one is a musical marvel or your money back. Please enjoy!

*there isn’t actually a prize I was lying about that….sorry if I got your hopes up there….I apologise.

Exercise Update

Well it wouldn’t be blog post if I didn’t talk a bit about the 2012 challenge now would it? So I’m now 72% of the way there. I said I was going to run 500km in 2012 and so I’ve run 360km. Not bad considering last year I ran fucking nothing 🙂 What is the overall effect on my health? Lets see, well when I started this thing I was 259lbs, as of this morning I am 197lbs.

The only drawback to this new lifestyle is that the vast majority of my clothes no longer fit. They are all far to baggy. The best example of this occurred last Monday when I was at the gym. I nearly lost my jogging trousers when I was on my treadmill. It turns out trying to resolve this situation while still continuing to run not the best of ideas. This guy knows what I’m talking about.

That is a reasonably accurate representation of what nearly happened.

Down Time

We have a holiday come up. I whole week out of the office, I can’t hardly wait. You know what? I fucking need it. My brain feels all fuzzy at the moment. I think I just need some time to clear out the cobwebs.

The Con is On

Not long to this years FantasyCon. I have to admit a certain amount of excitement. Brighton was great fun last year and I enjoyed my visit immensely. Looking at the attendee list there will be plenty of folks there that we know. I think the key to a good Con is without a doubt the people. FantasyCon attendees are a top bunch of folks. This is good news as my natural shyness is always less pronounced when I’ve meet people before.

There are a good number of books I fancy trying to gets copies of as well. Myself and Mrs Cheesecake will be around for the entire weekend and though I’ll be the first to admit that I look a bit like the bastard son of an escaped gorilla and a Crimewatch photo-fit I promise I’m harmless really. I will happily engage anyone in conversation. Don’t be shy, do say hello!

Judge Cheesecake

Last night Mrs C and I finally managed to catch a showing a Dredd. I was over the moon to discover that  more than lived up to my expectations. Mega-city One was grungy and grim, Karl Urban’s chin was doing some superb work and having a plot that was simple and straightforward  was entirely the right way to go. It was just great to see Old Stony Face come to life in such a vivid fashion. HE IS THE LAW! *

*Let us never speak of Stallone – He Was NOT The Law

Till next time

Please be excellent to one another

Chief Judge Cheesecake

Many Cheesecake Returns

A short birthday update. Today’s question  – What do you get the man who has everything?

  • Tickets to see the musical version of War of the Worlds (I am just a little obsessed by this album and even though the event isn’t until December I’m already beyond excited).
  • A nice leather cover for my Kindle
  • A sticker (This will be used in conjunction with the Kindle cover, see below. I’m sure the literary among you can figure out where I am going with this)
  • Groo The Adventurer by Sergio Aragones and Mark Evanier
  • I got some cash as well so there will likely be a few books this weekend.

Not bad for an old man. Truly I am a lucky Cheesecake

Maths, Movies, Monsters & Muscles

Pablo Cheesecake vs Mental Arithmetic

This week got off to an odd start. I discovered that my mental arithmetic is not only piss poor it is in fact SPECTACULARLY piss poor. As I have mentioned countless times before I have been on a diet and exercising for nearly a year. I have attempted, and I stress the word attempted here, to keep track of my weight loss. Some how (and I am still not sure how) I managed to utterly bugger that up. For some reason I thought I had nearly lost 3 stone (42lbs my American chooms). This week I finally realised I had actually lost over 4 stone (57 lbs) Don’t get me wrong I’m over the moon about it but you have to admit that is a bit of a fuck up isn’t it?

The Dark Cheesecake Rises

We saw The Dark Knight Rises today. I reckon it rounded of the trilogy quite nicely. Bane’s voice was undoubtedly very silly but everything else was pretty cool. My personal highlight? It’s a toss up between Joseph Gordon Levitt’s character and Anne Hathaway’s bottom.

Also saw the trailer for Dredd on the big screen for the first time.  Karl Urban does some outstanding chin work. I was impressed.

Cake, Cake, Cakeity, Cake

Mrs Cheesecake has once again outdone herself in the kitchen department. This is the cake she made for my and my nephew’s joint birthday party tomorrow*

Monster, Monster, Monster!

* Technically my birthday isn’t until Tuesday but we’re celebrating early.

Third Time to Charm?

Mrs Cheesecake has suggested we go to the gym 3 times a week rather than the normal 2. She must have caught me in a moment of madness because I surprised myself and immediately agreed. This week coming – Monday, Wednesday and Friday we are gyming it. So if I don’t update next weekend you’ll know what finally killed me. Captain Scarlett has electricity, Superman has Kryptonite, Pablo Cheesecake’s one vulnerability – the gym.

Nighty night Internets, I loves ya.

Tomorrow there will be cake

The Dark Cheesecake

And It’s Hello From Me

Damn you real life. Damn your black heart for getting in the way. *shakes angry fist at the sky* It has been ages since I have last written anything here. I’ve been busy. What with holidays, work, book reviews and everything else it life get quite cluttered.  I’ve had a flurry of new followers on the Twitters and Facebook so I thought I might do a little introductory post/ Q&A thingee.

Who the Hell are you? Around most of Interweb I go by the name Pablo Cheesecake. You may be stunned to discover that this isn’t my real name (I know I was). You can call me Paul if you like. I live in a  little house with my significant other, the redoubtable MadNad as well as two cats (Odin & Freya) and a tarantula called Athena. When I’m not here or at work I run a book review website called The Eloquent Page. Gives me the chance to read a lot which can only be a good thing no?

What can you expect from A Mid-Life Crisis? Well, to put it in a nutshell, basically this is my on-going experiment trying to upload my consciousness on the internet. I like the idea of opening my brain giving it a shake and seeing what falls out. To give you a rough idea of the sort of thing you’ll witness. In the past I’ve blogged about my quest for the perfect fish finger sandwich, my obsession with crappy movies and in one memorable instance I ranted while drunk about Tesco’s plastic bags.

How often will I post? Your guess is as good as mine chief. This is the nature of random. Could be tomorrow cold be next week. I have no idea.

Will there be swearing? Fuck yeah. Probably lots if I’m honest. If it is in my head then it will eventually find its way onto the blog.

So I think that covers just about everything for now. Are we all strapped in and ready for lift off? Good show, lets see where we end up shall we.

Till next time
Please remember to tip your waiters and waitresses

Pablo Cheesecake

Trousers, Tattoos and Terror

The Curious Case of the Brown Trousers

When it comes to fashion I am a bit of a one trick pony. I like black jeans or black combats, if I am feeling whimsical khaki green at a push. Last weekend, in a fit of pique, I decided I was going to break with tradition and try something new. In a moment of craziness I purchased a pair of brown trousers. They haven’t arrived yet but I have been fretting about them ever since. What possessed me into this random act of fashion rebellion? For years I have been comfortable with my style (or indeed lack there of). I am still genuinely unsure if I will be able to where these when they do show up. The last time a tried something different, a pair of beige combats as I recall, my young nephew threw up on me and them. (Pureed sweet potato if your curious. Turns out bright orange is not a great accent colour in this case). More on this as the story develops.

The Great Tattoo of the Deep

Last week Mrs Cheesecake got some new ink. She is now the proud owner of a wolf paw print on the back of her neck. Jolly good it looks to. I am once again jealous. She has a number of other ideas and I look forward to them appearing over the fullness of time. In all honesty my tattoos are a  bit lame and I am going through a phase of being slightly embarrassed by their crapiness. This did make me think about remedying the situation and so I started looking for ideas. I want to really go for it. Something striking and memorable. Something that I will be proud to be seen with for the rest of my life. After much research I have come to the following conclusion. I want something similar to this.

Cthulhu tattoo design moch up by chrislazzer
Isn’t it stunning. I really, REALLY like this. Now we come to the problem. I was talking to the tattooist about getting a sleeve done and it takes quite a long time (well I suppose that is fair enough. I mean you’d want a good job wouldn’t you) but it also costs quite a bit. Hmmm I’m not the best at saving my pennies. Roughly we are talking about 20hrs work at around £70 an hour. Do the math. Not exactly cheap is it. Would anyone like a kidney? Can I interest you in a slightly used spleen? If an eccentric billionaire happens upon this post I wouldn’t say no to accepting your charity. I won’t do anything kinky in return though. Well not too kinky anyway.

A Cheesecake The Goes Bump in The Night

Over the last couple of years I have developed a rather strange habit. If I sit an watch a horror film before I go to bed I will almost always have a bad dream. This in turn leads to me waking up in a blind panic. For example when I watched the Japanese version of The Ring I woke up later that night screaming. As I am sure you can no doubt appreciate Mrs Cheesecake poor nerves were somewhat frayed by this experience. On another occasion I have woken up, confidently explained there is either (a) someone in the house or (b) at the window. After which I immediately fall back to sleep. Mrs Cheesecake is not a massive fan of that either. Probably the weirdest one of all was the night I shouted “HOOTERS!!!” in my sleep. In that particular instance I do still maintain I was having a dream about clowns. Sleep and the sub-concious mind are a real enigma and I am constantly perplexed by the whole thing. The outcome of this new habit – no horror before bedtime. Damn shame as part of me really enjoys a good horror movie.

Sleep Tight

El Diablo Cheesecake

Birthday Swag

Today is my birthday and I got lots of nice gifts. Here is what I got. (All of which I am totally chuffed with!)
To start with a few books

Then a rather classic graphic novel.

Some nice quirky music

  • Gravelands by The King (an Elvis Presley impersonator who does Elvis covers of only dead musicians. Weird I know but it’s very cool. If you are familiar with Dread Zepplin then you will get the idea.)

Finally a laptop sleeve from the good people at Burgerplex
Laptop Sleeve
Bit mad eh?
Anywho time for cake
Later People
Mr P Cheesecake
37yrs Old

A New Post About Things and Stuff

Pablo Cheesecake vs Himself

It was inevitable really. After years of moaning about everything else it was only a matter of time before I turned my attention to the worst offender of them all. The King of the Hill, El Numero Uno, The Big Kahuna, the Grand Fromage………me.
What could possibly cause all this full on self-loathing? Hmm…how best to put it….Since I turned thirty my body has been failing me on, what seems like, a regular basis.
The most recent trauma is a recurrence of my thyroid issues. Now for those blissfully ignorant of this particular gland the thyroid helps to regulate energy levels in your body. Mine, putting it as succinctly as possible, is fucked. I have been using medication for a few years now to help manage the problem. A while back my doctor suggested a reduction in my meds. Initially everything seemed fine and, as is the way with these things, I promptly forgot all about it.
Cut to last week. In the space of one day I feel asleep at my desk at work, then on the bus on the way home and for a third time at around 8pm. As soon as I sit down and I am not focusing on anything I start to drift off and then fall asleep.
The worst part, without doubt, is that this is causing problems with my reading. I am sure most of you are aware that I run The Eloquent Page. I like to keep it ticking over and try to post a couple of reviews a week. For me a couple of books of week is an easily achievable goal. Unfortunately my thyroid is causing me no end of grief. No matter how much I am glued to the latest novel I am reading if I get too comfortable and relax and then I start to fall asleep. It is making things difficult to keep to a regular posting schedule.  I am going to try to keep going and hopefully the boffins can sort me out. I just feel terribly disappointed. Literally at the point where things are starting to pick up with the site and I am failing myself.
Sorry. I apologise. Please excuse the self-pity. I just needed to vent a bit. its just so fucking annoying. I feel fine but can’t stay awake. There are many people in the world that are way worse off than I am so I don’t really have any right to complain.

The Linear Nature of Time

Days and months zip by and on a much more upbeat note, it is my birthday this weekend. Has it really been a whole year? I’m looking forward to spending a nice day with Mrs Cheesecake. She has promised a slap up lunch, always a bonus, and I know she has a couple of surprise gifts hidden somewhere. When it comes to birthdays and Christmas I am still a big kid. I love opening gifts and enjoy the festiveness of it all. If I think about it I dont really care what age I am. Every year seems to bring new challenges but also new joys. I’m just aiming to be happy in my own skin. Not the loftiest of goals but a good one I think.

Of Hobbits and Caped Crusaders

The latest production diary for The Hobbit surfaced this morning. Once again I find myself swept up in all the excitement. Peter Jackson is entirely the right man for the job, as he has proved already with Bad Taste and Braindead. (If you haven’t seen either then seek them out immediately dammit! ) I think he did direct some other stuff but I am not sure what they are about.
Meanwhile Batman Live has finally started it’s tour. Mrs Cheesecake and I have tickets for when it arrives  in Nottingham. If it is as good as Doctor Who Live was we should be in for a real treat. Nothing better than a public entertainment is there? I have high hopes. I’m also looking forward to the forthcoming DC reboot. I just need to decided what titles to spend my hard earned on.

The Woes of a Gadget Whore

I was complaining a while back that I had owned my shiny new iPhone 4 for a while and was yet to receive a phone call on it. Now don’t panic I’m not looking for your pity. I don’t get a great deal of phone calls full stop but that’s cool I contact my peoples via the social media and what not. I just wanted to relate the tale of what happened when I finally did get my first call.
Mrs Cheesecake rang to let me know she would be late. The phone started to vibrate (like the conscientious sod I am I tend to put it on silent. Which in itself is a shame as I have cracking ring-tone but I digress *see below*) Any way, I answered the phone with a flourishing swipe of my finger on the touchscreen.
“Hello” says I
….Not a peep in response
“Hello” again nothing.
Finally after about 30 seconds I remember that my headphones are plugged in to the phone but I am wearing them round my neck not on my ears. Turns out that once again, though I love my technology, I am the very definition of ‘a tool’.
Here, for anyone that has gotten this far, is my current ring-tone*
Till my next rant.
Laters
The Caped Cheesecake

Thoughts For A Day

This evening nothing but ten random bits of news and thoughts that have occurred this very day –

  • The car passed its MOT
  • Cats as a rule are sneaky escape artists
  • A watched vegetable never grows
  • My sense of direction is excellent
  • I ate my first Portobello mushroom
  • Pirate related post is always a welcome surprise
  • Dandelions are tenacious fuckers
  • Being awake and outside at eight am on a Saturday is just plain wrong
  • Viewing a car accident appears to occur in slow-mo
  • If there can be but one Cornetto – make it strawberry

So there, in absolutely no order whatsoever, you have it. A number of things

Sometimes I think too much…

I apologise in advance for some of the content in this evenings post. Things get a bit heavy near the beginning. Ahh fuck it. I’ll be honest it’s the closest you’ll every get to deep and meaningful from me so you best enjoy it will you can.

Am I Really Me?

Here is  the head scratcher that I sometimes ponder in the wee small hours of the night. Before I get to the gist of this particular rambling I have to give you a bit of personal history by way of an explanation. When I was four and a half years old I was involved in a serious road accident. I was in the back of a car that was hit by an articulated lorry. The net result being that I was crushed between the front passenger seat and the seat that I was sat on. The back of my skull shattered into my brain and I was in coma for a number of weeks. Brain surgery fucking rocks btw! When I woke I had effectively rebooted. I had lost my memory, was unable to walk or talk. You may find it hard to believe but I was incredibly lucky. When I had first arrived at hospital I was only given hours. The fact that I am still here thirty two years later proves that I must be at least a little bit lucky?

Anyway back to my original point.

The thought that I keep coming back to is this – if the accident had never happened would I be the same person I am now? After the accident I was essentially Pablo Cheesecake 2.0. I had to re-learn everything. I wonder if I would have grown up to be different or the same as I am now. I often think about it. Have I replaced myself? Am I a totally different person from who I was before? Told you it was a mind-bender.

My Latest Brain Worm

For reasons I can’t even begin the fathom the Katy Perry song ‘Firework’ is stuck on my head. Can’t think why? I’m not what you would call a fan of her work. I’m sure she is fabulous, if you like that kind of thing. Phew we’re back on shallow ground again, that’s a relief. Katy Perry – Is she the one married to Brand?

The Hobbit

I watched the first production diary today and it filled me with warm and fuzzy feelings. Genuinely raised a smile. Later on I saw a tweet from Duncan Jones (director of Moon, Source Code) saying that this video reminded him of why he wanted to be a involved with movies in the first place. How cool is that?

Enough already

Later