Tele-visual Shite, Haribo & Volcanoes

Random things that have caught my attention this week….

tv shite

Disappointed to discover that Auntie Beeb has pulled the plug on Survivors. It seems yet again that genre TV has had another kick in the teeth. The thing that annoys me most is that the second series ended on a fucking cliffhanger of all things.

Sci-Fi has become SyFy. God that makes me feel unclean just typing it. Some smart arse exec somewhere has decided that a perfectly acceptable channel name wasn’t sexy enough so a rebrand was in order. C’mon though SyFy. Sounds a bit wanky don’t you think. I’ve also noticed that they seem to be moving away from just sci-fi programming. In the US of States they have started showing wrestling. FFS I don’t have a problem with wrestling but on a science fiction channel?

On the plus side the new series of V started, after only 4 months of delay. Some of us did spot you were advertising it for January SyFy! No Marc Singer or Michael Ironside though.

The Eighties...they fuckin rocked!


I went to the cinema yesterday. I saw Cemetery Junction. Much as I wanted to not enjoy it (Gervais gets on my tits a bit) I couldn’t. It’s a good film and I would recommend you go see it. Perfectly captures the 70s. Breaking from tradition I purchased a bag of Haribo.While I was waiting for the film to start I read the ingredients. Have you ever read the ingredients on a packet of Haribo? Well have you? Some of the highlights include – beeswax, hibiscus and nettle. I kid you not. I still crave them mind you.

Haribo - The product of a deranged mind?


Eyjafjallajökull in Iceland erupted this week and has thrown air travel in Europe into utter chaos. Just goes to show that nature is ever unpredictable. I sort of like that. Should make us all more aware that we are but passengers on this little planet. That and volcanoes look really cool.

Ohh....Hot lava action

Till next time

Pyroclastic Cheesecake bids you farewell.

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Gadget Show Live

I’m a gadget head. I love all tech, hardware, software and gadge. Last year I found out about the Gadget Show Live about a week before the event happened. Needless to say by that point the event was well and truly sold out so there was no point in even trying to attend. This year I was ahead of the game and got my tickets sharpish.

I’ve never been to the NEC before. In fact I’ve only ever been to Birmingham once and that was another lifetime ago. The place is like it’s own little city. It is fucking enormous. I reckon it took us about twenty minutes to walk from the the station to the hall where the show was taking place.

One of the first things we saw were these immense statues. On a side note does anyone have £3000 I can borrow? On the understanding you’ll never get it back.

Life size Alien and Predator

Mrs Cheesecake and I had also purchased tickets to see the Supershow hosted by the Gadget Show’s very own Jason Bradbury, Suzi Perry, Ortis Deeley and John Bentley.

The gangs all here!

The Supershow was fantastic (it did help we were 3rd row from the front so got an amazing view). There were some great tech related challenges and the crowd were kept involved with all the goings on. We also managed to get a bit wet!

Behold the TITAN!

After the show we wandered around the exhibition. The one drawback to the whole thing I suppose was that it was INCREDIBLY busy. The crowds were everywhere. This did make it difficult to stop and actually view anything without either getting in someone’s way or someone getting in your way.
On our way out we ran into the 10th Doctor and friends. Damn Daleks get everywhere don’t they.

His name is The Doctor

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Pablo Cheesecake Kicks Ass

My final movie blog of the Easter weekend is Kick Ass. Someone on the interweb said that the Daily Mail would shit kittens over this one and I can see why. The film contains da da da “Adult Content”. You heard correctly folks there is violence,swearing, self abuse and self tan. They even use the c-word. I spotted it, more than once in fact, I am shocked to report that the word comics is mentioned.

All joking aside I wasn’t sure what to expect from this. I have enjoyed all of Matthew Vaughn’s previous films but comic books are very close to my heart and I was a little worried. It is fair to say that I feel this way about every comic book adaption that makes it’s way to the big screen and will continue to do so. (I’m looking at you Green Lantern, Thor, Iron Man 2 etc).

My worries appear to have been groundless. The film worked pretty well and the changes to the story made the characters seem a bit more fun. Those who have read the comic know that the hero doesn’t get the girl. He does in the movie version. Oh shit spoiler alert! Damn sorry.  Oh come on your only going to see the film if you know the book anyway aren’t you?

The cast were all good. I think Mark Strong and Chloe Moretz were exceptional.

Yes the film is violent. Yes the subject matter is undeniably silly but fuck it it’s only a movie.

Now where’s my lycra leotard? (if you knew me you would realise just how horrific a mental picture this actually is)

Captain Cheesecake

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Clash of the Cheesecake

This Easter weekend we’ve managed 3 films. We saw How to Try your Dragon. See my 5 year old nephew’s review here. After he left we decided next on the list was the remake, re-envisioning, rebirth of Clash of the TItans.

What did I think. Well the film was pretty good. It all looked epic. Ancient Greece was all sandals and togas. Mt Olympus was armour and shininess.

I did have a couple of problems with the film though. Firstly the 3D was wholly unnecessary. I don’t actually recall any point where it enhanced my viewing pleasure. I believe the film wasn’t originally meant to be 3D and it was added as an afterthought. I just think it was a bit pointless. I am willing to accept that 3D is meant to be subtle but this was just done badly. Which is a shame.

My other issue – Sam Worthington’s hair. What the fuck is up with that. To a man every other male on screen had long hair and most of them had beards. Ancient Greece = Metallic audience. That’s all good but then along comes Sam with the feckin buzz cut. How in the blue hell did he manage that? Are there ancient magical hair trimmers that have been handed down to Perseus as a gift from the Gods? Part of me actually hopes that there is footage of him wearing a long haired wig that is so bad members of the film crew are rolling about on the floor pissing themselves. Now don’t get me wrong Mr Worthington rocks the buzz cut but Perseus does not. Check out Harry Hamlin to see how it should be done.
this is how you do it!The supporting cast were all good. I particularly enjoyed Mads Mikkelsen and Liam Cunningham.

In summary then the film was ok but Sam Worthington’s anachronistic hair detracted from my enjoyment.

In fact I’m so angry now…….Release the Cheesecake!

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How to Train Your Pablo Cheesecake

Yesterday Mrs Cheesecake and I had the pleasure of taking our 5 year old nephew, Nico (Unarmed and Dangerous), on his first trip to the cinema. We went to see How to Train Your Dragon in 3D. I told him that I would let him post a review on the internet of what he thought. See below for N(U&D)s insightful review. Not only that but his opinions of cinema in general.

His first reaction to the cinema was that he very much liked the giant television. When I asked him about the story of the film I got following response

“I did like the black dragon he was my favourite”. As I said insightful.

Turns out that 5 year-olds don’t really think much of the 3D experience either. He lasted about twenty minutes before the glasses came off.

I also don’t think he was that bothered that the vast majority of ancient Vikings sounded suspiciously Scottish. Though he did claim later on that when he blows up the world we will all have to move to Scotland? and learn to speak Scottish.


Toothless Cheesecake

PS I enjoyed the film but have no plans to blow up the world. The animation was great and I liked the characterisation of the Vikings and the dragons. Also I would quite like a beard like the head Viking had (To my knowledge the dragons had no facial hair)

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From the brain of Pablo Cheesecake…

Just some random shit from my brain to the interweb


I am not exactly a what you would call a snappy dresser. I have my own fairly casual look that I’m comfortable with but on occasion in a fit of pique I go a bit bonkers.  (This probably explains the bright red hair, nipple ring and tattoos but the less said about that the better). My latest fashion purchase is fucking epic, not to everyone’s taste I’ll grant you but check these bad boys out.

Animal PJs...fucking sweet

Please note that this isn’t a photo of me modelling said jammies. I’m more of a keg that a six pack! Aren’t they fab though. Animal from the Muppets. How cool is that.

gadget show live

Mrs Cheesecake and I have got tickets to check this out at the NEC in a few weeks. Last year we missed out so I am real excited that I can attend. I love tech. I am going to be in my element. Mrs Cheesecake better nick my wallet or I am likely to go on a spending rampage. Actually I’ll probably have to hid her purse as well as she is as big a gadget freak is I am.

fantasycon 2010

Gonna get tickets to Fantasy Con 2010. This event is held in Nottingham, right on our doorstep, in September. Last year we only managed to attend one day but this year we are going for the whole thing. Again highly likely that the old wallet will take a pounding but you know what, fuck it.

kick ass & clash of the titans

I’m not sure which of these films I am most excited about. Both are now firmly on the horizon so Easter break will most definitely include more than one trip to the local multiplex. I also read recently that Tron is coming out on blu-ray. I may have to purchase that.

note to all readers

Please remember loyal Pablo Cheesecake fans that as ever there is an Easter egg in my blog. This *comprehensive* additional content is yours if only you can locate it!


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Pablo Cheesecake vs The Third Dimension

Lets set some parameters for this blog. For starters  – I love film. All of it. Even the shit ones that no one else particularly appreciates. (I’m looking at you Rabid Grannies, Rollerblade Warriors, Blood Sucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh etc). I’ve always kinda been of the belief that every movie deserves to be loved. Why not. People invest a lot of their time, energy and creativity in an effort to entertain the masses. Good on them I say. Long may it continue.

Recently however I have noted a worrying trend.  I’m concerned that this will effect my enjoyment of something I love dearly. What, I here you cry, could illicit such a reaction from the normally docile Mr Cheesecake? I’ll tell you, just two alphanumerics in a movie title…..3D.

Now before I continue lets get one thing straight. I don’t hate all 3D films. Avatar blew my tiny little mind. I expect Tron Legacy to do exactly the same.  The key thing about the use of 3D in both these examples as that it’s used by the directors to enhance the visual style of each film. The extra depth enhances the experience. I get that and I consider it perfectly valid.

The sort of thing I have a problem with is things like. U2 in 3D, The Jonas Brothers in fecking 3D. Why do cinema goers have to be subjected to such shite. If your interested in seeing U2 or indeed The Jonas Brothers go to a fucking concert.

I’m also worried that films are getting made in 3D just for the hell of it. I heard that the last couple of Harry Potters are in going to be in 3D. For the love of great goggly moggly WHY! The previous films didn’t require an sort of enhancement like that to hold an audiences attention so why do it now?

3D has prompted great debate at Cheesecake Towers. I am my usual unsure and slightly sceptical self while Mrs Cheesecake has embraced this new technology wholeheartedly. She does agree however that 3D is not necessary for all genres but does consider it inevitable as it’s all about the dollar dollar.

Who knows where we’ll be in a couple of years? The Chinese have a curse. “May you live in interesting times” I guess currently for movies it is just that….Interesting.

A slightly unsure Cheesecake

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Watched the movie… the T-Shirt

Among my many and varied hobbies, all three of them, I collect t-shirts. I’ll be honest the more obscure the cultural or movie reference the more likely I am to buy. Over the years I have started to amass a reasonable collection

Now those of you that frequent my little sinkhole of cyberspace already know that I also like the silver screen *Understatement Alert*. Most of my t-shirt wardrobe does point to this fact . Check out some of the fine cotton I have below.

My current LastExit collection

This first batch are all provided by the good peoples at Last Exit to Nowhere. They do fantastic work based on fictional companies that appear in film. As you can see I haven’t quite managed my first dozen yet but I am working on it slowly but surely. I will eventually own most of their catalogue I’m sure. Their t-shirts are all good quality, last well and are reasonably priced.

I don’t just do movie t-shirts though. I like to soothe the inner (and indeed outer) geek. Jinx do some splendid gaming and nerd wear for the discerning connoisseur. Behold!

The answer but whats the question
Only a t-shirt inspired by one of the greatest books of all time.

Another one of my obsessions is pirates. Don’t even ask cause I can’t tell you why.  Pirate Mod have a huge collection of shirts all of them sublime.

Yarr tis a pirate t-shirt
There are a few shirts out there that I am still keen to get my grubby little mitts on. This zombie related shirt is a work of pure genius. Nothing better than a bit of swearing to upset the neighbours.

Not going to tell you where that one is from. I wants to keep it all to myself.

To finish my little ramble about all things t-shirt related. I recently saw the trailer for Tron Legacy. I had a joygasm and this forced me to purchase this gem.

It's a fucking Tron t-shirt!

Till next time
Mr C

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Who Dares Wins – Another one of those retro thingees

Recently I wrote a little retrospective blog about Deep Rising. You can read it here. I have to say I enjoyed the experience. It was fun to revisit a film I hadn’t seen in a while and remind myself of why I liked it in the first place. So much so that I’ve decided to do it again.

Who Dares Wins (known as The Final Option in the US) is an early eighties classic. In fact I’ll go further than that. I’m willing to lay down the gauntlet on this one. I don’t think there has been a more testosterone heavy movie committed to celluloid. This film just oozes action.

Lewis Collins, fresh from the TV nirvana that was The Professionals, is the hard as nails SAS Captain Peter Skellen. Deep undercover, he has to infiltrate a group of terrorists who are hiding out as part of the peace movement. The action begins with a crossbow bolt to the face and escalates to a terrific finale involving the storming of the American embassy in London. Ironically though the film is nearly thirty years old the subject matter remains pretty topical.

The rest of the cast are a veritable who’s who. Edward Woodward, Judy Davis, John Duttine (Day of the Triffids rocks), Richard Widmark, Tony Doyle. Even Ingrid Pitt gets a look in.

The score is by Get Carter supremo Roy Budd. The main theme has some crazy wacka-wacka guitars and dramatic keyboards. Music is used to great effect toward the end of the film when the siege takes place. There is a scene where Skellen runs down a corridor with the rest of the SAS team that is just perfect.
Lewis Collins is impervious to bullets
I revisit this film regularly. Now I know it ain’t for everyone. Some of the attitudes are (how can I put it politely) a trifle dated? It’s ok though. We’ve all moved on. We’ve matured. We can view Who Dares Wins for exactly what it is a rock solid action flick.

One piece of advice though. Don’t watch the DVD while your ironing on a Sunday afternoon. Last time I did that I got all excited and had to go have a lie down.

Pablo Two Cheesecake Out

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Solomon Kane – a Cheesecake’s view

Recently I was in London and as part of the trip had the opportunity to meet James Purefoy. He’s terribly good looking, impossibly dashing and, according to Mrs Cheesecake and friends, should be renamed James Purejoy. You can read about my escapades here.

After my return from that there London I finally got the opportunity to go see his latest film – Solomon Kane. Based on the stories written by Robert E Howard the film is a tale of a man seeking redemption. Set in an a muddy 17th century England Kane is at the outset essentially a scumbag. He kills, maims and destroys whatever he can. He cares for nothing but himself.  Shockingly for such a nice chap a minion of Beelzebub turns up and explains that his soul is now damned and the Devil wants to collect. From this point on Kane tries to walk a peaceful path. He turns his back on his evil ways and tries to lead a good life. Needless to safe El Diablo is not such a push over and Kane is forced to face his demons (literally and metaphorically).

Purefoy being all smoldery

Somewhere on the net some person much wittier than I described Solomon Kane as a West Country Batman. I can see what they are getting at. The story fair smacks of Troubled Avenger. Not that this is a bad thing. Purefoy always manages to make Kane look pained when he has to resort to violence. Here is a man that wants nothing but peace but can’t escape his past.

As an aside the following thought did occur to me. How old is Max Von Sydow? He seems to have made a career out of playing old men (with the exception on Ming and the Brewmeister Smith from Strange Brew. Actually if you haven’t seen Strange Brew seek if out. Very odd and very funny).

Solomon Kane looks great. Its is meant to be all grungy and dark and it succeeds in spades. I think I would have liked to have seen a bit more of Jason Flemyng‘s character. He plays the main villain of the piece and i think he deserved a bit more screen time.

A more artistic rendering...

The end of the film is left wide open for a sequel and I think I would probably seek it out should one be made. Only if the following scene is used mind you. I apologise in advance to fans of Batman (1989)

[Solomon Kane dangles a thug over the side of a building]
Thug : Don’t kill me! Don’t kill me, man! Don’t kill me! Don’t kill me, man!
Solomon Kane: I’m not going to kill you. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your friends about me.
Thug : What are you?
Solomon Kane : I’m Solomon Kane. All right my lover.

Till next time

Solomon Cheesecake

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