This latest post, for a change of pace, is about a single subject that has been close to my heart (and various other organs) for the last year or so.
Today I purchased two new items of clothing. I decided to go out on a limb, take a chance and go with a size large rather than a size extra large.
I’ll have to be honest here and admit that I was more than a little concerned as I have been actively avoiding this exact scenario, and its potential for failure, for a couple of months now.
What made me feel this way?
Well, the thought process goes something like this – I know that I’ve lost weight, people have been kind enough to mention it and I can even set it myself when I look in the mirror now. The problem though is that the old ‘flabby mindset’ is still there. I’m 6ft 2 and have always been what is politely described as ‘a husky gentleman’ (less polite alternatives used in the past include the charming turn of phrase ‘you fat fuck’, but I digress). Trying to make that mental leap to whatever I am now (normal? standard? less fat? moderately husky?) has actually been one of the hardest things about this whole process. The exercise and dieting are just a habit that I’ve had to learn. Understanding my own body image and how I feel about it strikes me as being an infinitely trickier thing to master.
I suppose that, much like the weight loss itself, I will most likely have to battle those inner voices who constantly demand cake and chocolate for the rest of my life. I’m hoping it continues to go well. (I should also note that writing cathartic, waffly blog posts also seems to help. I apologise in advance).
Please don’t feel badly for me and don’t worry I’m not whinging for no reason either. I am actually really pleased with where I am now its just taken me a bit to realise that I’m going to have to remain constantly vigilant. (In fairness this is probably a good thing as I really should pay more attention to stuff anyway. To say I have the attention span of a goldfish sometimes is not entirely inaccurate).
Its all good peoples of the Web. If things do get bad again I know I can really on my other half to give me a swift kick up the ass for motivational purposes.
On a side note I’m glad to report that in this case the risk appears to have paid off as both t-shirts fit just fine.
Till next time
Be nice to everyone, I’ll be watching.