A Cinematic Deathmatch…

Yesterday I went to the cinema with Mrs Cheesecake, as is our want on a typical Saturday afternoon. Actually if you have ever read my blog before then this fact will come as very little surprise.

We saw the new James Purejoy flick, Ironclad. (I should stress I didn’t come up with the nickname Purejoy that was Mrs Cheesecake and her interweb chums.)

I enjoyed the film immensely you should check it out, but that is an aside.

I spotted Jason Flemyng playing a character called Beckett. Think medieval mercenary type and you’ll be on the right lines. *SPOILER* He dies *END SPOILER* After the film a thought popped into my brain, I freely admit this doesn’t happen often. Jason Flemyng seems to die in everything he appears in. Now I admit I haven’t seen his entire back catalogue but it appears just about everything I have watched, that he is in, he bites the bullet.

Behold the evidence

  • Deep Rising – Tentacled to death
  • Stardust – Taken out by ambitious sibling.
  • Solomon Kane – Dispatched by “The Purejoy”. It’s nice to see they made up in Ironclad.
  • Clash of the Titans – Removed from existence by “The Worthington” and he gets his hand chopped off and mutated beyond all recognition before that. Poor bastard.
  • Ironclad – Oh go and see the film for goodness sake!

Jason is basically fucked....again

Who else, I thought, suffers such cinematic bad luck? After sitting around for a bit scratching my head I remembered. Poor old Michelle Rodriguez.

  • Resident Evil – Milla Jovovich is the main female lead. Michelle didn’t stand a chance.
  • Bloodrayne – I’ve seen this but as it is a Uwe Boll film I am required by law to never speak of it again.
  • Fast & Furious – Well she lasted till the fourth film of the franchise. That’s not bad.
  • Lost – They are all already dead anyway so I’m not sure if this counts. (oh sorry *SPOILERS*)
  • Avatar- Even working with James Cameron can’t save you Michelle!

You don't look well love

I reckon it’s about time Jason and Michelle were given a fair shake of the stick. Lets make a film where they get to cut about and dispatch the bad guys and neither of them die?

Oh suit yourself. It was just a thought.

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