I know I mostly talk shallow nonsense on this blog, as is my want, but currently I have a profound desire to vent a little. Be warned this post is likely going to get a bit ranty. I just need to get some crap off my chest. Feel free to disregard what comes next entirely if you wish. I promise I won’t be offended.
Now the eagle eyed amongst you my have noticed that I’ve not written a single personal blog post so far this year. Why? Well the quick answer is mostly because, so far at least, 2015 has been an almost continuous pile of shit.
In January I had another epileptic type incident. Once again I woke in the middle of the night to find herself telling me that everything was going to be alright and she had called the emergency services. Prior to that moment I was 100% oblivious to what was going on. Its frightening when you realise it is possible to be entirely absent from your own life. There is nothing in my frame of reference I can compare this to. I’ve been drunk many times in my life but I’ve never blacked out. Since that night I have had no further incidents but I am still talking with specialists regarding what happens next. The human brain is a miracle alright. Sadly my brain is slightly less of a miracle than some others.
February was quiet but in March my other half had some health issues of her own. I’m not going into the details, primarily because that is her business, suffice to say the problems she had were pretty fucking terrifying. Two serious illnesses in the space of two weeks is damned scary. I think I may have aged about twenty years in the space of a single month. We’ve both seen more than enough hospitals in the last few months thanks very much.
Now that things have calmed down a little, most of our hospital appointments/consultancy visits are done and dusted, I have finally reached the point where I think I can view things with a slightly more objective eye. The single silver lining in all this bloody trauma is that it has made me realise just how extremely lucky I actually am. I’m not the most demonstrative chap in the world and I know I don’t say it often enough but I’ll say it now for the record – My other half is the love of my life. She is the better part of me and I would be completely and utterly lost without her. She makes me want to be a better person. The last few months have driven home the message (that I’m sure many of you already know) – Life is precious and ephemeral and needs to be grabbed firmly with both hands and held onto tightly. I fully intend to do much more of this now.
So what next? Hopefully something resembling normal. Recently I have come to the conclusion that good times are best viewed as the absence of bad things. I’d like to get back to that. I was good at that.
Thank for the opportunity to get that out of my system. I feel better already.
Normal slightly fuzzy, mildly shambolic service will be resumed as soon as possible
Later you ‘orrible lot. I’m away to live a little.
Love and overly long hugs